Farhan Iqbal

Does your impression that your parents will disown you come from your understanding of their attitudes or from what you have read online? What I'm saying is that what if your parents are more understanding and are able to help you in your situation, instead of disowning you. You assumed something untrue about me thinking that I won't answer your question because I have "an image to keep". So, what if you are also assuming things about your parents?

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Regardless, if your parents disown you, they would be acting against the teachings of Islam. So, I earnestly hope they don't do that.

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As per your question, I think you haven't fully understood what sin really is. In Islam, we have something called "Jihad of the self" - a Jihad against our own selves. I will give you some examples to illustrate:

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1. Not waking up for Fajr early in the morning on time, is sinful. But who wants to wake up 4:30 AM? It's a Jihad (a struggle) against the self to wake up at that time.

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2. Wearing modest clothes especially for girls is a requirement. Not wearing modest clothes is sinful. Hence, it is a Jihad against the self to adhere to this even when we don't want to.

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3. Having an intimate relationship is only allowed within the confines of marriage. But a person's natural desire may be that he wants to be free and have intimate relationships with multiple women before choosing one, or never choosing one at all. Hence, it is Jihad of the self to confine ourselves to what Islam requires.

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4. Offering all daily prayers in congregation is a Jihad... reading the Holy Quran every day without missing is a Jihad... serving others is a Jihad... going to Africa to dig wells under the Humanity First scheme is a Jihad; who wants to leave the comfort of their homes to exhaust themselves in a remote part of Africa or Pakistan or some other nation? It is a Jihad!

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5. By extension, every human endeavour that leads to positive, good results is a Jihad in some form. The social distancing that we are practising these days is not at all natural. Human beings WANT to be closer to others. But what do we do for the sake of our health? We sacrifice and we follow medical advice, and this is a Jihad. Exercising, walking, lifting weights, etc. are things that we may not want to do but we do it for our health.

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Likewise, in your case, your Jihad is to sacrifice your desires and try to follow the Islamic lifestyle. That doesn't mean you cannot talk about your challenge with anyone else. You can talk about it with your parents or other trusted people. Or, you can even ignore all of my advice and choose to live an independent life. But if you want to follow the Jama'at's teachings, this would be your Jihad.

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And this doesn't mean that others have it easier than you. All of us have our own Jihads to engage in. This one is yours. With good intentions, prayer, perseverance, and support from family/friends, I sincerely believe you will be fine. But the choice is yours.

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