Well, as a woman I dont' have a lot of great options to begin with, since the position of my gender was heavily dependent on social norms and cultural circumstances (in even worse terms than today). There was no single most humane position that applied to everyone. Women had different roles depending on their social class, family situation and geographical location.
For women from aristocratic or wealthy families, the most humane position may have been to have a good marriage with a respectful and supportive husband who took their needs and desires into account (ew). Such women often had access to education and could enjoy some autonomy within their homes, although their freedoms were limited compared to modern standards.
Women from poorer families or those who lived in rural communities often had heavier workloads and less freedom. They were usually heavily involved in daily work, be it farming, housework or other economic activities. Their position was often characterized by greater dependence on male family members and social structures (ah great, the patriarchy strikes again).
I think I would still take the first option into consideration with a lot of different outcomes concering my (hopefully not so nasty and disgusting) husband. If, by any chance, said person is an absolute scumbag, I would totally fantasize about poisoning that piece of shît (/sarcasm). If a wealthy woman was suddenly widowed in the Middle Ages, her situation could vary greatly depending on various factors such as her social status, her family environment and the legal regulations of her time and region.
In some societies and legal traditions in the Middle Ages, women had the right to a portion of their deceased husband's estate, known as a widow's estate. This could include land ownership, financial resources or other assets that enabled the wife to live a decent life even after her husband's death.
If the wife played an important role in the management of the family estate or business, she could continue this responsibility after her husband's death. This could mean taking over the management of the business or representing her family's interests in negotiations and affairs.
Depending on the social norms and circumstances of her family, a widowed woman might be pressured to remarry, especially if she had no male heirs, in order to continue the family's property and name. However, this could also depend on the woman's personal autonomy and wishes.
Many wealthy women in the Middle Ages were involved in charity work, religious or social activities. A widowed woman could increase these activities or take new initiatives to engage in the community and use her influence.
So yeah, I would just hope to either be a cool nun or a widowed and more or less independent aristocrat (without having delivered an heir or re-marrying another stupid douchebag). Anything else would probably have me burning on a stake or else. /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ
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