So you said for me to tell you a joke. I'm not good at jokes but here is one for ya. (I didn't actually do this)
My friend said onions were the only food that could make someone cry. I threw a coconut at his face.
Cute. You don't need to premise it saying that you didn't. It was a joke, and you're not going to offend me/weird me out/make me think you're a bad person. Maybe you should try hitting friends more often to get over such fears!