you look fat in that pic on tumblr

I should probably write something mean but you get what you want anon because I'm crying and can't fucking deal with being snappy.

Thank you for pointing out the one thing that once lead me to basically cutting myself off from most human contact and doing things to myself that's left me with probably permanent heart trouble. I don't think I've said that public like this before, but that's what happened, not going to go into detail more than that. Thank you for reminding me of the one thing that's so painful for me that I don't even talk about it properly with my closest friends, because it hurts, and I feel like they'll think I'm lying because I look the way I do, even though it was a long time ago. Thank you for pointing out the one thought that's come back to me lately, after I've stopped going to therapists and dieticians to talk about those things long ago and finally felt good about myself for a long while. Just thank you.

Since I've recovered I've gained one kilo. ONE. Since I was so big when I started I got a grip of myself before I actually looked too skinny. I know I look very normal, not thin, but normal, and with the past I've had that's something I just don't allow myself to think about. In my last pictures I've actually been standing with my back against the wall sort of leaning back since I looked like the shortest person on earth when I just stood with my legs under me instead of in front of me, and it makes my legs look bigger and taller, as opposed to all those girls that bend forward 300000 m to make their thighs look thinner. I bend backwards. I've done the exact opposite but apparently I've been right thinking despite that I look bigger than usual. So again thank you for pointing out the one thing that has taken me years to think away. I guess I must be all fat nowadays, no muscle, just flab. You win.

And I know people get extremely annoyed when people of "normal weight" complain about their bodies but I don't care. I CAN'T decide what I think of myself right now, and I know I have a distorted body image, so I just don't KNOW. And I never complain otherwise so just leave me alone, potential whiners.

You mustn't have a life. What do you get from sitting by your computer hurting others? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Don't you have any friends? If you do have friends, I feel sorry for them, because you really seem like a horrible, horrible person. You know what it's not like I'm standing behind you with a gun to your head, forcing you to follow me. If my existence bugs you that much then just don't. Go get a life or kill yourself.

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Saga Malva | 1994 | ♀ | scorpio | waitress | certified dreamboat.

Stockholm, Sweden