I love you
I’m really confused but right now all I want is to be in your arms
Because you need to focus on yourself.
I’m clearly digging a hole. I’m gonna go to sleep
Until recently we were both there for each other all the time.
You barely talk to me.
I think so
You can’t be there for me. You need yourself.
You have your own stuff.
You realize I haven’t been able to focus on myself since I was like 12, right? I’ve had to keep myself and at least one other person going for the past 6 years. It’s hard for me to take bad news after bad news after bad news. I’ve given all I can. I have nothing left. Not even for myself. My life is the best it’s been all year right now and I still can’t completely find the good. I want to be there for you. I do love you and I do care but I just have no more fuel and I don’t know if I’ll ever get any back. I understand that what you’re going through is hard but I’ve been with you since the very beginning of it. Every high and every low since 2016. I know that you need me and I can’t be that person for you right now and I’m sorry. I wasn’t trained for this. I can check your blood pressure and do CPR and give you a shower and hell I might even be able to tell you the generic name of the medicine you take but I can’t be a therapist anymore. I don’t know how to listen and give good advice or tell you what to do. I don’t know what to do. I’m not okay enough to be okay for you.
We can talk without you fighting with me but ok.
Most people want to talk to the person they’re in love with.
I swear if you pick a fight right now I’ll ignore you. I can’t deal with it.
I don’t know. I don’t even know what this is. It’s not what it used to be.
Nothing extreme? You barely talk to me and I barely talk to you.
We barely talk and it’s not even just about our problems. We just don’t in general. And then you want to start talking again like nothing is wrong and it’s normal. I don’t see how you can go from ignoring me to saying you’re in love with me. I would understand if you weren’t clearly on twitter and Instagram. It just feels like our conversations are forced now. Every time I tell you something good or exciting you don’t respond until at least a day later. Which once again, I could understand if you weren’t on social media. & I’m emotionally screwed up right now for some reason. I literally can’t handle anything. I just shut off. I can’t feel anything at all. The most I’ve felt in months is probably when I wrecked and had that panic attack. It felt like everything I had built up had blown up in my lungs.
It feels like we’re strangers
Because I don’t know what to say. All you said was I know and I’m sorry. What do I say to that?
I don’t know what else to say.
I don’t know.
Nothing about us right now is a relationship. I never see you. We never talk.
That’s not a relationship.
I don’t know