Ask @journalforjared:

Worked 11-3 this morning and made $36... ): spending my night at Danny’s house for the last time... this is the last time I’ll see them for who knows how long.

I understand. It must be hard to come to that realization that you might not see them for awhile. I know how it feels to say goodbye to people. Never knowing what will happen...
I had asked you a few questions last night, but I never heard from you, maybe I didn't hit send. Oh well. Another time.

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Beth I know you. Is there something wrong between us or something not involving me?

I have a lot going on.
....if its something not involving you, I wouldn't necessarily tell you about it.
.....and if it involved you, I already said what I needed to earlier.

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That’s good (: I was on a party tonight with someone and we only made like $50-something but it’s enough for the next couple days..

That's good

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What are you doing tonight?

I was watching football with friends and now I'm going to study and try to be in bed by 1.

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Ugh these old people at work won’t leave... it’s past their bedtime!!

I wasn't aware you were working tonight. We can visit when we both have more free time.

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Beth I don’t think this will be the end. I really think I will be just fine (:

I'm aware of how fine you will be. You always are. Singularly, I will be fine as well. If that's all this is about then there's nothing more to talk about

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Wow. The Steeler’s make it stressful but they always know how to win. 39-38 Steelers (:

I never would have stayed awake to watch that last night.
I didn't mean to be salty last night, I was tired and knew you weren't 100% available to talk and the selfish part of me comes out when I'm overtired or cranky I guess.
I read over things this morning and saw how tired I was. I wanted nothing more than to sleep instead of trying to stay awake, but I was doing that..for you. For us. And when I don't feel that same kind of .... I guess commitment would be the word..from you, then I feel slighted and leave. I know that seems selfish compared to how you view it, if you view it as talking to me any chance you get. That does make me seem selfish, but you know how I am, about wanting all of your attention or none.
I will have to rethink how I am now, mostly because I have so little time left with you and I can ill afford to be picky, or stubborn, or selfish.
I will try this week to come on, but I don't know how much I can. Please remember that even if I'm not here, any words from you, your feelings, or things that you have said you would tell me in the past, such as your views on Freud or what happened to you over the weekend, are very appreciated. It doesn't always have to be me doing all the talking or giving you "me". But, that is up to you. No pressure.
Have a productive day, as we seem to say that more often now, instead of good or great.
((I don't seem to take things lightly anymore. I feel a sense of urgency and importance with us. The build up before the end so to say...so that every encounter is more meaningful. that every visit is etched on my mind, to make memories, so as to not have you fade, or me fade from you...words need to be more important. time is not to be wasted in the next 4 weeks that we have left....))

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38-36 Baltimore...

Sounds like a good game, and yet another one where they pull it off at the end. Great for the W column, but once you have to face a tougher team, like the defending super bowl champions, the outcome might be different. (that was the sportscaster part of me, how I sometimes supplement my income during the year 😋)

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30-20 Baltimore 😅

I appreciate you keeping me informed like you said you would. I didn't expect it.
I was up at 4:30. Although I needed sleep, my body is used to only so much and I wake up when I'm done sleeping I guess.

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You are very much alive in me. And yes, it’s harder than you think.. maybe I’m just too attached to my cars. But your cars, I will have those forever (:

Well, I've never had a car so I don't know or have anything to compare that to. I'm sure it was very hard for you. I know how you felt about losing your jeep. Maybe the next one you'll get will be in a few years and it will be another jeep
(Melty melty when you say about keeping them forever )

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Yes I got all of my belongings out and then they towed it away.. ): I wouldn’t lose them for the world princess 💜

I bet that was sad..I'm so sorry that happened to you. You've lost two already
But I'm glad you kept them. I'm glad you feel attached to what I gave you. It makes me feel alive in you somehow... now go sleepy, mkkk?

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There’s nothing wrong with that baby (: Beth, do you really think I would let anybody ever take those cars away from me? I did have them in my car if you look close enough but they’re hanging on my dresser now (:

I wasn't sure how it works when they tow your car away. But I'm glad you saved them :)
I'll go back and look but I don't like seeing that wreck. I was very stressed the first time I saw it so I didn't really look to see if there was anything hanging there.
I'm so glad you kept them. It makes me warm inside :)

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Don’t compare yourself to me or anybody else baby. Just focus on you 💋 what’s your question?

I try not to compare and I'm not necessarily comparing, I just notice that I don't alter too much of my life. Yes, little things, but big things? No. Not like you.
I do know I have to focus on me. I'm the only one living my life and even if its scary sometimes, we all have to grow up sometime, don't we :)
I was just wondering if they took away your car...well, I mean, if you even still had them in your car...what happens to the things in it, like if you had the little cars I gave you, did they go away with your car?

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Tell me about your day love 💜

I was trying to remember the last time we had a long talk. I think we both knew we'd be busy this month.
I've been studying a lot, finals are coming up and then break. I have a lot on my mind and not much time to do everything I need to.
I haven't had much sleep, less than normal and need to nap :)
I feel my life is very routine where your life is so full of fun and exciting things and changes. I feel quite dull compared to you.
I did have a question, about your car..something that I wondered about.

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I would do anything to have that right now baby 💜😘

someday I'll take care of you like that every time you need me to...and even if you don't

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We went and got out Christmas tree this morning. Just got back... but I got sick... like throwing up sick. I’m in bed now and just wunna be little spoon ):

awe baby... I'm sorry you feel icky :((
I'd take care of you so well, definitely curling you up in my arms and taking care of you
Try and sleep and drink so you don't get dehydrated.. I'll check in on you later

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I love you sooooo soooo sooo so so so so so much ((: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

My melty 💗💗💗 💖💖💖💧💧💧💧💧
go ssleepy
goonighty
😘

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