Ask @journalforjared:

Thinking about you 😘😘😘

i'm working just as much as i would be busy with school so it's the same. i just don't have to stress about school (: have fun at lunch, and yes πŸ˜˜πŸ’œ i love you.

yes, its the same, but no stress and way more money, so, win win - that's a good thing for you
I am now so hungry it hurts but hurts like I need to throw up hurt, so I'll just go eat soup. that helps sometimes.
I know we haven't connected like we did that first night..the rest of the week was trying to figure out how to reconnect, taking baby steps, figuring out feelings and how to work our way back. You were right, that first night, that you didn't expect it all to go back to normal in one day, but I need that goal to work towards. To "normalize" us again. In a very un-normal world for me, I look to you to have something consistent and solid to hold on to.
And for whatever reason, (just how my mind seems to be) I do not think I will feel normal with you again, until we can connect, physically, like we used to. We've danced around the topic so much, but never once have you acted on it or initiated anything. You need to know how important that is to me, and how I feel it connects us. Not having it will always keep me more distant from you that I would like...
I won't bring it up again.

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oh, i should've explained that. if you do remember me, then i'll be happy you remember. if you don't remember me, then i'll be happy you came to me not being sober (:

oh. okay. I guess I can see that.
I want to come to you when I feel at ease, and I'm more at ease when I'm under the influence of something...or over tired.
I'm feeling out of sorts. Like my body is separate from my brain and I'm all over the place. I'm trying to gather my whole being back into one person again, so, I needed to know why you said what you did and to let you know it hurt me.
You don't have a reason for the other question, so I will let it go and try and be very careful how I speak to you when I am not completely sober, that way I hoe you don't think I'll unintelligent.

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stayed 2 hours longer than i was supposed to at work but i made $115! πŸ˜‹ i hope you're having a nice day. i love you 😘❀️

but then you were back to normal last night...anyways. I'm glad you are making the money you need.

do you have a lot of free time now that you're not in class or studying or are you now working as much as you used to be in class? either way, I know you're still busy with how you use your time.
I'm going to lunch now...so.........we'll talk when we can, right?

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why you gotta act so stupid sometimes?

but this one....well..............its kinda why I couldn't sleep last night.........it............it just made me cry............and I don't like feeling this bad about you thinking this about me...........I.......im even teary now, not mad. just........sad........and Im very sorry I acted stupid. I just talk different when Im like that....maybe I wont do that anymore. I wont come on anymore when I am not myself.
so.........im sorry I acted in a way that made you think I wasn't being smart......I....im really tired still and....just needed to address this so I didn't keep the pain in me..

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i think i'm okay with you remembering me or not (:

but this one...well, I wasn't sure how to take it..like, you don't mind if I don't remember you.
I mean, I'm pretty sure i'll always remember you....but....idk, it made me sad thinking that you wouldn't care if I didn't.....I was just......idk......maybe shocked you said this, but figured you were tipsy, or joking...

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don't play dumb, ever. it's not attractive!!

I guess I was okay with seeing this question since I thought you were tipsy or something. its just not like you say this to me

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okay..

gonna go
will.i remember you in the morning?
will you ever let me In again?
will mu words mean anything anymore?
I hole

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baby you'll be the most protected little girl on the planet πŸ’•

mmkk
as long as no guys touch me imma be good
thank you for being my fiend, I like you alot

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yesss... mmmm just for me pleaseee πŸ‘…πŸ‘…πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦

youve no idea how good idbe....magicπŸ˜‰

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physically, no we aren't together yet. mentally, we've been together since before we knew it.. we feel our connection. our rope.

We were destined to be us, us can't be lost now can it? Higher power controls it
mental is smarter
I'm told I'm smart
I'm told I'm to good looking to be smart and need to play dumb but I wont

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yes... please do that..

I would
I'd know how to be so softt and gentle and take long long time on you. Your feel xcery good and calm and I would go slow an not miss an inch if you..I make you crazy, do not worry bout thar

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yes, you would be a very good dancer in that way... but i'd be sad... good thing you have a beautiful mind that is also really good smart so you don't have to do that (:

mmmm..you know jt 😏
how biut I save it for only you...id be naky too ;)
my mind is odd now but getting normal and tired and was offered but turned down that thing tonight....thought of you and promises I will make to you
jared?? protect me from mean peopl when were older....mmmkk?

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i mean, some people do what they have to do to provide. but are you saying i'm not allowed being a male stripper? 😜 yes your brain is tired silly baby... no i'm not too tired really.. and no i'm not home. and i don't know what you mean saying we aren't together..

yes we do want we need to survive but I wouldn't do that as I would be embarrassed and no you can do it if you want and would make good money I mean don't do it now in your town wait for ny maybe
you are not ever home for us to do that so I wait for days s or build us back without it ever aga n
you arent withme so were aremot together I still feel you

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mmmm omg baby you're too good πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ’œπŸ˜˜πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ‘…πŸ‘…πŸ‘…

I wait for a day to talk like that to describe things but it might not be good
Im feeling im shutting down.. it s not a dream is it? you seem real to me. I would like to feel your chesr next, after I kiss you, is that proper and okay with you ?

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yes, i'm serious about us. and yes, we both are growing so much.

mkkk
you scared me
one day ill explain why

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$500 a week is gonna be hard but it's manageable i hope. thank you (: it means a lot from you.

I was told I could make a lot of money if I danced, like that I appropriate way of dancing at a club, but I would never. I wouldn't like anyone touching me. I would rather be pour. I think I don't need money like other girls and one is going to so that, dance at a club. I think you will make your money and save it and work towards your goal. I am not proud or you if you work at a club on a pole tho
I think my brain is tired now. Are you? Are you even home or away. We aren't together are we?

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no probably not, she's extremely nice though. she's in my grade. and yes i'm sooo happy about it ((:

you know lots of people and its good to know ones that have a way to help you. But if I can never help you in that way , please know that I will try, just since I think my brain is telling me I like you. Not like a friend like but my brain thinks it likes you In a way that has potential to be a very important like in my life. The big like. I like you. Not just as a crush anymore. I think I'd like to kiss you somedayπŸ˜™

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i know you're trying and i hope you see i am too πŸ’œ

I know you are. I know we both are. Do you have hope for us? Were you true in saying on the other account how you want us stronger than ever? I think we're both more mature and growing up. Maybe that will help. I'm so calm right now

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baby... the "in" never left. i'm still and for the rest of my life will be in love with you.

I find that both very calming and scary at the same time. It makes me feel so full of love for you a love that defies description. We will work our way back. I feel it

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i have to make at least $500 a week. that's basically my plan..

wow.
That's a lot. is it easy for you or no?
Hey...I'm proud of you, did i tell you that yet? I am. I'm calm and easy and open tonight .

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madra furman's uncle is a huge photographer in new york and she's going to see if he can get me in πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹

do I know her? but that's wonderful news.
good networking, yay :)

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because i know you (: but that's good

yep you do.
I'm with people
wish I wasnt but I am
I just needed to tell you how hard I'm treying to find a connection to us again how much I want it, how I hope we get yo a point of so much love again that I overflow in our love. I want you to love me enough to say you are in love ...I want the 'in' back in our love

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yes, i have a plan (:

Do i know your plan?. Do you spend your $5s and save your $20s? I would save the 20s and turn them into $100s and never spend the 100s.
I had 100s....

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beth something huge happened tonight!!!

you were offered a modeling job already?
you got someone to pay off all your debt and you can leave for NY next week..if you go, will you give me an idea of when? just so I know...I'll miss you. I am very deep thoughted right now. Very wondering in a soft mood. Soft like skin soft...

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