How can your woman care so deeply about movieS like Selma and 12 yrs a slave when she's not black and non blk people of color have totally difference experiences in America. How do you kno she's never made fun of black people, snubbed black women, told racist jokes or used the N word?

The idea that you need to live an experience in order to have empathy for it is a fallacy of the highest degree. Both of those movies depict these horrible moments in this country's history. They hurt to watch. Now we didn't see 12 Years together, but I can tell you that in the year and some months we've been together, I never ever saw her cry until we watched Selma.

But what difference does it make for you to know that?

You sound like the type who would be unconvinced anyway, who is cynical about non-black people, and gives too much credit to our own people. To answer your second question, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, that she's never made fun of the black race, never snubbed a black woman, and never told racist jokes or used the N word. Just like I have given the benefit of the doubt to black women I've dated in the past, and believe they have never made fun of a non-black race of people, that they've never snubbed another black woman, that they've never told racist jokes or used racial slurs in referring to others.

I believe every woman I have dated is good to all people. My family is too diverse for me to tolerate anything less than respect for people of all backgrounds, not just their own.

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About Jozen C.:

Creator of the blog Until I Get Married/New York Post dating reporter/The Root contributing editor/Music and pop culture critic. Hapa man.

New York City