I'm 26.Ive been in 2 abusive relationships. I know my pattern and I've worked hard to break it thru counseling& my religion. Things trigger me, like someone standing over me during an argument. I met someone & want to be honest about by past w/o putting too much on him. Advice?
I understand, you want to get in front of this BEFORE something triggers an argument between you two. As long as he doesn't know why you may react so strongly to the way he argues, there is potential for things to get messy very quickly. The tricky thing here is knowing when YOU are ready to speak up about these past experiences to people outside of your therapist and spiritual advisor.
I don't know how you determine that definitively, but if you want to gauge your readiness for being more open about these things, here is what I suggest: Reach out to a friend, someone you know and trust who may not know about these past incidents. Tell them you want to talk and share with them these experiences the way you would this guy you're dating. I know it's deep, so I'm hesitant to call it a practice-run, but it is the only way you're going to truly know how ready you are to talk about these things.
Best of luck to you as you continue your journey of healing.