Rahab Khawaja.

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Someone asked me how would you explain the grief of losing a loved one to other people?
To date, I have been thinking about what grief is? And to me, " Grief begins the moment care packages expire, and the people around think it's time to move on because time must have lessened the pain by now."
It begins the moment regret takes over you, and you have no one around because it's been "TOO LONG."
That's how Jagjit Singh puts it in
‎اک آہ بھری ہوگی، ہم نے نہ سنی ہوگی
‎جاتے جاتے تم نے، آواز تو دی ہوگی
‎ہر وقت یہی ہے غم،
‎اس وقت کہاں تھے ہم
‎کہاں تم چلے گئے!
Past three years, I have always questioned what makes people sidestep discussing grief.
When someone is no longer alive, why do people expect the grieving family, friends, and relatives to avoid cherishing the moments they lived together.
Why the response always comes in the form of advice, to endure the loss with patience?
Grief begins the moment the closest of people choose to walk off instead of staying because merely they can't see you in pain while you sigh because Kashif Anwar said
‎بت جو خود تراشے تھے، بن گئے خدا ہیں سب
‎ان کو زیر کرنا ہے، اب انہیں گرانا ہے!
We have made the notion of losing a loved one so complex that without even realizing we walk by silently grieving parents, siblings, children, spouses, grandparents, and grandchildren every day.
Grief begins the moment you observe and absorb behaviors and mentions wounding your heart that might take forever to heal, but you choose silence over reaction.
‎لوگوں کی نظر میں خاموشی انا ہے ،
‎اللہ کی نظر میں خاموشی صبر ہے۔
We are pretty ok if we discuss the affairs and memories of people alive, but ignore/look away/choose silence when people share memories with their deceased loved ones.
Grief often begins long after someone is gone. The initial phase is certainly not grief; it's denial!
Grief begins the moment you accept what happened, and it could happen years later ۔
Because when Parveen Shakir said
‎میرے پاس سے جو گزرا میرا حال تک نہ پوچھا
‎میں کیسے مان جاؤں کہ وہ دور جا کے رویا؟
To which Faraz replied
‎تیرے پاس سے جو گزرے تو جنوں میں تھے فراز
‎جب دور جا کہ سوچا تو زار زار روئے!
Imagine if we chose better words for the grieving side, we hyped up the pictures they shared as we do for the ones alive, we praised their breakthroughs, the way we celebrate birthdays and anniversaries; imagine the difference it would make.
Instead, we choose to shut the other side down.
To overlook what they share.
To ignore what they think or miss.
To avoid because they might get jealous.
Because no, they don't get jealous.
They know what they have lost, so they will always appreciate what you have; it is just that they might miss them in these sequences a bit more.
Grief begins the moment you cross the roads you thought you would never take again because Kashif Anwar said
‎ڈر گئے جو رستوں سے، گھر سے کیسے نکلوگے
‎روز انہی رستوں پہ تم کو آنا جانا ہے۔
It begins the moment you are watching the first rainfall after them passing away and hopele

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how would you like to be remembered?

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
When tomorrow starts without me
And I’m not here to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
Are filled with tears for me
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today.
I just want to be remembered as someone honest, someone who tried, someone who didn’t lose hope.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ? 👀🖤

Maybe love is in New York City already asleep
You are in California, India, Australia, wide awake
Maybe love is always in the wrong timezone
Maybe love is not ready for you Maybe you are not ready for love
Maybe love just isn't the marrying type
Maybe love is only there for one month
Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit
Maybe love stays
Maybe love can't
Maybe love shouldn't
Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to And love leaves exactly when love must
When love arrives, say
"Welcome, make yourself comfortable"
If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her
Turn off the music, listen to the quiet Whisper,
"Thank you for stopping by"

one line for hilliya?

Hilliya umer was part of my life where it was beautiful. Looking back at it i never realised I aas growing. And I'll always cherish those memories till my death. Till I see her again in hereafter and tell her how my life went after she left this world. Apparently she became a reason My believe In Almighty and life after death increased. A request to recite sureg fatih for her to everyone reading this. For her. 27-6-20.

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