and a happy new year to you!! 🎉honestly, i don't even know at this point. everything is so precarious - financially speaking - so i'm tentative about getting excited for anything.
Christmas 2021 vs Christmas 2022: if you were to compare these two, which one has been better? To me last Christmas wins by a flawless victory lol
christmas 2022.i wasn't living in safe accommodation in 2021, which made a chunk of the holiday season awkward for me. i also didn't get to experience the same joys of christmas: i had to put up someone else's tree; i didn't have a roast lunch/dinner with loved ones; and i received less gifts (though i did get my camera in 2021, and that alone was worth everything).
Why does society still puts so much pressure on women to get married and have children? If you're a woman and at a certain age, let's say 30, and you don't have children society thinks you're flawed, but if u have children god forbid you're a single mom, because you'll be ostracized.
How do I actually convince someone to likeme again? Although they clearly told me they wanted to end things, I don't really want to. They also stated that they did like me genuinely but whenever they would think about us they'd only feel numb.
you can't convince anyone to like you. that's their business, not yours.
no, which is funny because my ab*sive ex insisted there was somebody who looked exactly like me living in my town, and would use that person against me in weird ways. him: "you're cheating on me. i saw you downtown with some guy." me: *shows definitive proof that i wasn't* him: "oh, must've been that other girl again. even [best mate] swore it looked just like you."w. t. f. i never met or even laid eyes on this person, and i lived in a pretty small town. (btw, he was a prolific liar).
Is there truly a place on this internet where there is no drama? Even in this cats group I’m in there are people calling each other out. Like this is supposed to be just a group where we share pics of our pets but people are totally messy.
unfortunately, as long as there are people, there will be drama. especially in larger groups, where the reason for connection can get lost and more bad faith actors have a part to play. honestly, all we can do is try to moderate our online spaces the best we can - for ourselves and for others.
Do movies, music etc. from decades past make you feel like life today is a pale imitation of what it must have been like in the past?
not really, no. nostalgia is a psychological phenomenon that causes you to see the past through rose coloured lenses, but it's all subjective; i can watch all the movies and music from the past today, *and* have more civil rights available to me and others.
- moving in with @aclockworkbananna - graduating - working on my driving hours (i am thiiiis close to getting my Ps 🥳) - seeing my bestie from the other side of the country for the first time in almost a decade - a LOT of successful trauma work via therapy and my own methods - writing more; even if i didn't finish half of what i started, penning my creative ideas was a massive step forward out of my rut - cinema experiences: "nope" was a high point
Were you hoping for a son with autism to compete to brag about to other mums?
i already have an autistic son, as well as 2x brothers, at least one of my sisters, and i'm autistic myself. lmao. if it's a competition, i've certainly won it.
Is it a red flag when someone only wants to message and talk to you late at night? They keep promising to meet up during normal hours but then something always gets in the way 😒
i don't think that's necessarily a red flag - they could work long hours, or else have a lot of responsibilities. i think it'd absolutely be a red flag if they only messaged/met up with you late at night for *one purpose*, though. (you know the one).all you can do is ask why it keeps happening, and decide whether or not you'd be willing to maintain that level of energy from this person.
do you think a cold can exacerbate depression or anxiety? i am diagnosed with both, but i manage to keep them under control, but rn im having a cold and i feel more miserable than ever, mentally. physically im okay
that makes total sense. i have chronic illnesses and my depression definitely flares up whenever my fatigue does. i think we can't help but feel low when our bodies are, and the only way to feel better is to rest - especially when resting often leaves you alone with your thoughts.
Are you good at replying to txts? Do you try to respond asap?
i try to! sometimes i'll read a message when i'm busy or not up for socialising and will forget to reply to it for a good while, though. that's always embarassing, lol.
This might sound weird, but how do I tell my partner to stop showering me with gifts? Gifts are much appreciated on occasion, I like giving them too, more than receiving them actually. But this kind of attention is unnecessary and makes me feel uncomfortable, I do not want it.
i'd personally approach it with "i appreciate that you show your love for me in this way, but i'd love if we could focus more on (whatever you want to see more of: more dates, experiences, saving money for the future instead of immediate gratification)."
Is “transexual” a bad word? Someone used it and this trans person corrected them saying it’s outdated and the correct word is transGENDER
eh, some trans people still use the word, usually to signify that they've transitioned. transgender is the more broader umbrella term and therefore more correct to use the vast majority of the time, though.
Why do so many young people complain about back pains? I see people in their 20s complaining their back hurts. What are they going to do in their 50s
Because some people have back pain in their 20s while others have none in their 50s? Hello?Age isn't the only factor; health conditions, body type, and lifestyle also play a part.
if a woman is in her early 30s and hasn't had a child yet, do you think she'll never be a parent? at around 30, biologically speaking, your body gradually begins getting old, which means your reproductive system too. that is why docs say the risk of pregnancy increases after 30.
People give birth after 30 all the time. What are you talking about.
Yes. It went alright, though I found out later that my boyfriend at the time (who wasn't in my graduating year) didn't want to be there and was planning to break up with me. And he did, a week later. That all kind of soured the night for me.
There are bisexuals who are unironically upset that they dont have a slur like the rest of the community and this is the silliest thing I’ve ever seem lmao🤣when you wanna be oppressed so bad.
I've never seen that before and I've been in the bi community for 10 years. We talk about biphobia, which is a form of oppression, but there's no talk about wanting a slur. Stop lying 💀
Is it bad that I have aggressive thoughts? I could never get physical with someone in that sense. I am disabled, my muscles are weak and I cannot do much, I can barely carry my groceries, let alone fight someone but when someone annoys me, in my mind I be punching and slapping them round.
Yeah, that's normal. However, if they're distressing and you're worried you could seriously harm someone - even if that harm or worry is unrealistic - that counts as an intrusive thought, which could indicate a mental health issue.
G*psy is actually a slur, right? Romani or roma people are an ethnic group, originally from India.
Yeah, I've been told by Romani/Romani descending people people that it's a slur to use against them, as a group or individuals. Hence why I used the asterisk; I don't know if enough people would know what the g-slur is (or even the e-slur, for that matter).I know one or two who have reclaimed the term, but it's best not to assume.
Do most conservatives use the "Protect the children" rhetoric to mask their homophobia/transphobia? For some reason, children need protection only when it comes to LGBTQ+ stuff...
Yes, absolutely. Children are, statistically, far less safe in their churches... and the majority of CSA happens within families (including family friends). If it were really about protecting the children, they wouldn't be ignoring those very real facts, which makes them even less safe to children.I honestly think these conspiracy theories are a smokescreen for covering up their own ab*ses. The LGBTQ+ community is a scapegoat.
What's something you used to find okay, but now find wrong?
- large age gaps when one or both are under 25 (to be fair, I was a minor when I thought nothing was wrong with it; I very much changed my mind once I grew to the ages my groomers were 😬) - outlawing ab*rtion due to choice (allowing them for straightforward medical needs) - new agey people stealing and b*stardizing beliefs and rituals from other cultures (dreamcatchers, yin and yang, the Kabbalah, spirit animals/totems, calling themselves "g*psies", etc.) - gatekeeping queer people from queer communities
Isn’t it weird how we say we “miss” people, but they’re literally one message away? We live in the socialmedia age. We’re all here, connected. We are in the same place (this case the internet). It’s not like we can’t contact each other. This ofc doesn’t apply to people who are no longer here.
I miss people who don't even care if I'm present or not, so 🤷♀️ I've learnt over the years people really only want to talk to me when they need a listening ear; I very rarely see or hear from them otherwise.
what's your opinion on white peopIe saying that native americans might've been here first, but this country would never have advanced without them ? facts or not?
When white people say "Native peoples would have never advanced without us", what they mean is "they wouldn't have advanced the way we did, which is the only way we see fit." Native peoples lived and thrived upon their own lands for thousands of years. They built up their communities and upon their land in a way that was sustainable for the environment as well as for their people. Comparing and contrasting that to the way of the western world - which is killing the planet and putting a lot of stress on the shoulders of people with no power to keep it running, I don't see how that is superior to what came before. More technologically advanced in regards to automation, sure, but we're less socially conscious, and I don't think that's a good trade off.
Do you know an enneagram 3 type personality? Type Threes are motivated by a need for attention and admiration. They strive to be successful and significant to avoid feeling worthless.
Yes, the enneagram used to be a special interest of mine. I'm a type four.
Why are young millennials (26-35) so obsessed with work, making money, hustling? The gen Z'ers (those born after ‘97 )seem to be different in that perspective.
Kind of have to be when the cost of living is so high and you might be a couple weeks of lost pay away from homelessness.
What was something small you went to the doctor for that turned out to be very significant?
- a rash on my side (diagnosed with shingles) - hearing my heart beat in my ear (diagnosed with pulsatile tinnitus due to intracranial hypertension) - my baby's 36 week growth scan (hospitalized because my kidneys were failing due to preeclampsia)