What's your opinion on marriage?
Its beautiful. But I think many of us are out there making promises that we cannot keep. A whole different conversation is to what extent mahogany works, it’s fair to say it works for some and not for others. That’s a whole other can of worms 😅😂
I think many people get divorced not because there’s a lack of love, I mean sometimes that’s true. Sometimes it’s true that people don’t give each other enough love and don’t act as a team and there are problems with that. I think for a lot of people it’s a lack of desire that leads and creates those weird moments in relationships where sometimes people cheat or maybe it’s not going as far as cheating but they realise they’re having all of these thoughts that they’re not proud of. Maybe they just have to leave because they think that there’s something wrong with them ‘cause they’re bored.
Someone at work was basically saying all his kids have left for uni and it’s just him and his wife so how do they keep it fresh. There’s a great quote by Proust when he says I think it’s the journey of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes but in seeing with new eyes. Interesting when it’s applied to relationships because you better get good at seeing with new eyes. The landscape can change ‘cause that person their job is to make themselves less predicable - you don’t do that by playing hard to get but what you do is you grow, you develop new skills, learn new things, you develop yourself in ways that keep your partner guessing about you ‘cause they’re like wow I have to keep up ‘cause they keep evolving. That in itself you can start to desire your partner more ‘cause you feel like you know them a little less. Not ‘cause
they’re hiding things from you but ‘cause they’re developing. When someone develops and grows you’re like wow I don’t know this side of you and it sparks attraction again. There’s that whole thing but I said to this guy, everyone’s gonna tell you that now your kids have gone you have all this time to spend together but I said the problem is you’re gonna have nothing to talk about. You’ve said it all, you’ve been together this whole time, I said I think you should use this time to spend some time apart like she go on holiday and you go on holiday and then come back and tell each other about it. Like have some space so that when you come back together there’s a little mystery to it. It will be scary, this is why people get very emotional about this and they get very upset ‘cause they’re like what do you mean get to know my partner less, what do you mean spend time apart we’re supposed to be like THIS 😂 but what they don’t realise is you never know your partner as well as you think you do so the idea that you’re like this and you know everything about them is a complete illusion and secondly, you doing that is death to the relationship so if you really care and if you really are a team, you’ll be able to trust each other but you’ll be able to give each other space to create that desire again.
I think many people get divorced not because there’s a lack of love, I mean sometimes that’s true. Sometimes it’s true that people don’t give each other enough love and don’t act as a team and there are problems with that. I think for a lot of people it’s a lack of desire that leads and creates those weird moments in relationships where sometimes people cheat or maybe it’s not going as far as cheating but they realise they’re having all of these thoughts that they’re not proud of. Maybe they just have to leave because they think that there’s something wrong with them ‘cause they’re bored.
Someone at work was basically saying all his kids have left for uni and it’s just him and his wife so how do they keep it fresh. There’s a great quote by Proust when he says I think it’s the journey of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes but in seeing with new eyes. Interesting when it’s applied to relationships because you better get good at seeing with new eyes. The landscape can change ‘cause that person their job is to make themselves less predicable - you don’t do that by playing hard to get but what you do is you grow, you develop new skills, learn new things, you develop yourself in ways that keep your partner guessing about you ‘cause they’re like wow I have to keep up ‘cause they keep evolving. That in itself you can start to desire your partner more ‘cause you feel like you know them a little less. Not ‘cause
they’re hiding things from you but ‘cause they’re developing. When someone develops and grows you’re like wow I don’t know this side of you and it sparks attraction again. There’s that whole thing but I said to this guy, everyone’s gonna tell you that now your kids have gone you have all this time to spend together but I said the problem is you’re gonna have nothing to talk about. You’ve said it all, you’ve been together this whole time, I said I think you should use this time to spend some time apart like she go on holiday and you go on holiday and then come back and tell each other about it. Like have some space so that when you come back together there’s a little mystery to it. It will be scary, this is why people get very emotional about this and they get very upset ‘cause they’re like what do you mean get to know my partner less, what do you mean spend time apart we’re supposed to be like THIS 😂 but what they don’t realise is you never know your partner as well as you think you do so the idea that you’re like this and you know everything about them is a complete illusion and secondly, you doing that is death to the relationship so if you really care and if you really are a team, you’ll be able to trust each other but you’ll be able to give each other space to create that desire again.