it was 3 years ago when I met you for the very first time. you, the one who spent almost 5 hours in this library to read some old books and since then, I loved library.
it was 2 years ago when I finally braced myself to greet you, with a simple 'hello' and 'I often see you here' plus a warm smile and since then, I loved library even more.
it was 1 year ago when you, for the very first time, you worked one magic on my lips and since then, I knew I have loved you not the library.
'how are you?' was the only text I could send to you, I might not get a reply but I gave it a try. at least.
then in seconds I got a reply. from you. 'fine! and you? how bout your exams? don't push yourself too hard'
you have never changed at all.
"XIUMIN! XIUMIN! XIUMIN!" fans kept chanting your name as they saw you danced on the stage passionately, you smiled at waved at them, I saw you. the sweats ran down your face, the dark circles on your eyes, you got thinner but you were happy. I couldn't hide my tears, it felt so wrong to see you like this. 'you did a great job!' was a text from me and I knew, you might not reply since you must have practice tonight.
'can we meet?' I woke up for a simple question yet deadly, from you. I kept staring at it, my heart ached a lot. 'yep' then we managed to meet at our favorite cafe, yes 'our'.
"do I look weird?" you asked while kept fixing your mask. I giggled "no, you look fine." then you sighed a relief. you told me bout how your group got so many fans these days, how some girls recognized you easily though you have put mask and beanie, it made you look cuter.
"how is your exams?" you asked and I stop staring at you. "fine." I replied with a smile and you just nodded.
"Ran, you didn't tell anyone bout today's meeting, right?" you asked, I still see the insecurity on you. "ofc I didn't. calm down"
"ah it's a relieve. you know I'm so happy to have a bestfriend like you!! I didn't regret even a thing since the very first time I met you in the library... ah I miss the library too! someday we should go there again!" you said with a bright smile. a very bright.
"yes, we should."
"I'm sorry." you finally said as you lowered your head and your voice got softer
"what for?"
"one year ago... I was so- I was young and I was just too curious. so"
"no problem." no, actually it was the problem.
"but I- Ran sorry for- kissing you-"
"it's ok, you said it was a kiss from a friend?" I asked, no, it might be a kiss from a friend but not for me. you nodded. "thankyou, for understanding me, Ran." I smiled, but my heart was tearing apart, again.
it was 1 year ago, when we just spent our day in the library. you kept telling me your trainee life. you said it was terribly tiring but you enjoyed it. I rubbed your hand, you smiled and that was how it happened. young souls full of curious as I closed my eyes and all I could remember is I was tearing apart my own heart for my bestfriend, Kim Minseok.

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