kak rissa lagi mood bikin ff angst ya?kaisoo ya kak hihihi makasiiii♡

silmi
hi silmi!
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"sometimes, letting go is the easiest part of loving someone."
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"you broke up with him?" a friend asked and Jongin just gave him a blank face.
"I'm not. not yet."
"Jongin, what's wrong?" another friend got worried when he saw Jongin got paler and paler, it looked like he lost his soul; he already did.
Jongin took a deep breath, he kept everything alone by himself until now. but screw that, he couldn't held it anymore. he needed someone to share all the shits. he started it with a laugh as he remembered how days went fine with Kyungsoo, like it used to be. but then Kyungsoo got busier day by day, he said he couldn't spare time with Jongin because of work. Jongin didn't complain nor angry, he understood, at least he tried. but there was one or two nights that he would cry, he missed Kyungsoo. but the other one didn't. Kyungsoo didn't love him anymore or did he ever do love him? Jongin's mind flew to the past when he was the one who chasing over Kyungsoo, showered him with sweet words, asked him to go out and spent nights together, 2 years of chasing Do Kyungsoo and finally, he got a 'yes'.
Jongin smiled, in pain, he just realized it. he was the one who kept fighting and trying. who kept walking and pulling Kyungsoo to walk together. but what did Kyungsoo do all this time? he didn't do even a thing. he just smiled, nodded, kissed him, hugged him, said that he loved Jongin too, he did as a reply for Jongin. Jongin always be the one who started everything.
for the th time, Jongin cried; messily cried.
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"I want us to break up." Jongin said, in an one fine day in summer. Kyungsoo managed to meet him as Jongin asked him. Kyungsoo looked at him in disbelieved.
"what?"
"we are not like we used to be, oh we have never been like a couple at the first place." Jongin blurted out those words, laughing desperately.
"Jongin... what's wrong?"
"us. both you and me. this relationship. the whole of this shit is wrong, Kyungsoo. you have never been in love with me. you just being nice to me." Kyungsoo didn't give a reply, he stared at Jongin. Jongin could see a 'sorry' in his doe eyes. it was hurt, so much.
"so please, just say you didn't love me. be honest. just tell me the truth."
"Jongin, I'm sor-"
"Kyungsoo.... I beg you."
Kyungsoo sighed, he hold Jongin's hand, for the very first time. he looked deeply into the younger's eyes
"I.... have never been in love you. I just admire you, as a bestfriend, a family, not more."
Jongin nodded, gave him a smile and by that Kyungsoo left him, empty and lost. Jongin slammed the table in front of him. it was hurt so much til it felt he was tearing apart. but then he felt a relief, he sighed and cried in silence
"thankyou Kyungsoo. thankyou, for being honest...."
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because sometimes, keep fighting won't ever work it, but letting go would.

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