Shakira Sison

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Factor po ba ang in-laws sa relationship? I love my bf but his fam, 😫 it's really giving me sleepless nights thinking if I should go on with our relationship, just because of his fam. I know for sure I can't and i don't wanna carry these kinds of issue in my "rest of my life".

While your in-laws might be terrible, your real issue is with your partner because you don't feel assured that he will shield you from your in-laws. Alam mo nang dehado ka and you won't get support from your partner. Try addressing it with him and see if there's a chance he can establish boundaries with them. If not, unfortunately this is a big concern and it's a valid deal breaker. Kung ngayon pa lang alam mo nang issue, it usually gets worse when you get married, especially since alam mo nang hindi kayang i-control ng partner mo ang relatives niya.

If you could be any height tall or short what would you pick?

Already tall and I would like to be taller. 😁

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Tita dapat ba i cut off ang mga kaibigan na tanga tanga sa love life naiinis kasi ako baka madamay ako sa ganon na mindset eme, pero seryoso nakaka drain.

Nakaka-frustrate ang taong hindi mahal ang sarili pero dapat bang i-cut off ang taong ito? Depends what kind of friendship you have. If you can't support them emotionally, then don't. But we don't always make decisions according to what our friends want. I hope they don't end friendships because of what they want us to do.
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Hi Tita! I'm a lesbian in my 30's. I have this friend na straight na may anak when she's 24. Then tanong siya sakin, bakit ayaw mo mag anak? Ano na lang gagawin mo sa buhay mo. Kakain at tutulog ka na lang para sa sarili mo? Yun na lang purpose mo sa buhay?

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One sign of maturity is when you can let others have their own life and opinions without being affected by then. Siya kasi she needs to justify bakit nag-anak siya ng kaaga-aga when there is so much to discover and learn before one becomes a parent. It's her loss and you don't have to convince her of your life if you're secure about. In reality, having a child right now jeopardizes them dahil sa climate change and lack of resources na mangyayari when they are adults. Personally I don't think anyone should be a parent before age 35. We're just not mature enough to take on that big responsibility. Pero parating may nagshe-shame sa kababaihan na dapat mag-anak sila. Bakit? Ayan lang na ang purpose natin na paanakan at taga-alaga lang? Just wait a few years kung anong mangyayari sa friend mo kasi ngayon pa lang napakabitter na niya at gusto pang mandamay. Mga 10-15 years lalabas din yan. A good parent knows it's a huge responsibility and is not for everyone. A bad parent wants everyone to have a child even if it harms them.

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Hi Tita Im a lesbian in my 30s I have this friend na straight na may anak when

Tita I keep blaming other people sa lahat ng nangyayari sa akin. How do I take accountability? How do I accept na kasalanan ko lahat kaya wala ako narating 😭😭😭

First, be kind to yourself. The reason you're afraid to be accountable is because you're hard on yourself and you use bad language about yourself like "walang narating." You're not dead and you're probably young and most of all, you're human and you make mistakes. So accept that you have failures and then decide what you're going to do about it? Now that you're ready to take responsibility then your life begins and you can make plans. Now what will you do to improve your life?

Hi, Tita! Someone I don’t usually talk with gave me set of perfumes as a gift. It was unexpected, but I appreciate it. Does this mean anything?

Say thank you and see what happens next. Don't assume it means anything. Maybe they just have an extra set. 😁
Liked by: Muhammad Asad

You know Shakira when I see your IG photos, I'm sincerely so happy for you. You have a nice family and means to enjoy life! Also shempre, you're a nice person... You take time to answer questions here and i learn a lot! I wish you more blessings and happiness!

Thank you! I am very fortunate, indeed! But keep in mind that social media only shows good things. There's no trace of the struggle and suffering outside the happy moments. Everyone has them.
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C: sana lang ma accept mo na I will never be perfect Me: Walang taong perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, has flaws and imperfections etc, but it doesnt mean there’s no room to change, grow and learn C: So what you're saying... I should change, grow & learn? Anong part diyan na alam mo walang perfect?

Tama siya though. It doesn't mean she wants you to be perfect. She just wants you to try.

Tita based sa mga sagot mo dito parang di ka madalas mag selos na partner, pano po yung ganyan? tsaka pano hindi matakot na baka niloloko kana behind your back? (mostly kase kaya selosa dahil baka niloloko na) pero sinasabi mo na wag ma insecure, pano kaya yon tita?

Look at my popular answer below. Para may feeling, Tagalugin natin.
1) Mas maganda sila sa iyo.
2) Mas matalino sila sa iyo.
3) Mas mabuti silang tao kesa sa iyo.
4) Pinili ka ng jowa mo kahit totoo ang number 1 to 3.
5) Kung wala kang tiwala sa partner mo at patuloy kang maging insecure, pinapaalala mo sa partner mo ang #1-3.
6) Kung sa tingin mo hindi ka karapat-dapat sa partner mo at mas may karapatan ang ibang tao sa kanya, tama ka.
At kung takot kang masaktan at matapos ang relasyon mo, huwag kang mag-alala kasi talagang masasaktan ka at talagang matatapos ang relasyon mo. Kung ayaw mong masaktan, huwag na huwag kang magmamahal.
Tita based sa mga sagot mo dito parang di ka madalas mag selos na partner pano

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why parents dont like to take accountability sa trauma na binigay nila kahit pinagdaanan din naman nila

Denial is better kasi kung aminin nila ang trauma nila at amg trauma mo, then they have to do something about it. But the work is very hard and it lasts a lifetime. So ignorance is bliss, even if it traumatizes you more. But you will break the cycle with your own children. You will recognize your trauma, do the work, get help, and make sure your children never feel the way you do. Promise me.
Liked by: Nemo Jerico Laqui

Hi tita what's your take about "lost opportunities"? May ganon po ba talaga, knowing that what's meant to be ours will always be ours? Met a man during my solo trip, for some reason I did not pursue him that time, ngayong pag-uwi ko lang sa manila narealize na baka may chance kami, but he's gone

Seize that pain and keep it in your heart as a reminder that we only get one chance. That way you'll live each day knowing that hesitation often results in regret.
Liked by: Theodore estrada

Hi Tita, Me (f) and my girlfriend fought about my jealousy issue. So I told her it bothers me pag nammessage workmate nya everyday, and she tells me it’s mostly work pinag uusapan nila. So I was like okay. And I told her dpat maghanap na ng gf workmate (guy) pra d na nagmmsg. And she got so mad ….

Figure out why you're so insecure and don't trust your partner. While you're processing that, maybe request that she avoid messaging with her workmate when you two are together. It does seem like you are the problem, but express to your partner how you feel and what your fears are. Maybe she can reassure you and show you that there's really nothing to worry about. Or maybe you can seek help for your jealousy issues before it really affects your relationship.
Hi Tita

Me f and my girlfriend fought about my jealousy issue So I told her it

Hi tita, usually ako ung naghahabol, w/c eventually di rin naman magiging kami. Now na may dumating na disente at mabait, who I also like tbh, pero tingin ko mas gusto nya ako, di ako kumportable, parang nasanay ako na ako naghahabol, not the other way, what do I have to think to make this work? :(

Pag naghahabol ka kasi, you feel like you're in control. An easy love where someone loves you feels scary kasi papano kung mawalan siya ng interes? Or maybe consider na kahit disente siya at mabait, hindi mo lang siya bet at alam mo nang hindi mo siya mamahalin. Kaya hindi mo hinahabol. Think about it.

Hi tita, ask lang. There was this guy I was dating few days ago, but we stopped talking for one week now. Bc he wanted to focus on his goals, I promised to wait for him hanggang sa ready na sya ulit. Do u think, I did the right thing po? Or should I stop waiting and just let go of that promise?

I think he let you down easy, and that's his way of telling you he's not into you. It's best to take that as a rejection and to move on, rather than wait for nothing. If he comes back, that's great. But hanging on when someone already lets you go will just hurt more.

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Guy I’m chatting in US decided to end what we have days ago. I received a msg just now from him admitting he has a “partner” there, he’s saying he can’t leave yet until she’s stable since he feels responsible & leaving will bring her financial ruin. Should I reply. Does this mean he’s married!?

Unless you're going to agree to be a mistress, then there's no need to reply. He told you point blank that he was cheating on his partner with you, and now he wants to stop. It doesn't mean he's married, but that doesn't really matter. Be glad that he decided to stop wasting your time earlier than later. It was a jerk move, but you'll be happy he didn't string you around much longer.

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Liked by: Muhammad Asad

Hi tita may na ka fwb po ako,pero napansin ko na gnagaya nya po yung mga interests ko yung damit na binibili ko pati shoes ganun din,kung San po ako madalas nag kakape dun din nya dinadala ung ka date nya.pano ko sya ssbhan na di ako comfortable sa pag mirror nya sakin?

Or you could just feel flattered that this person is copying your style? Maybe gusto niya lang yung taste mo so ginagawa niya on their own yung ginagawa mo. If you're secure in yourself then dapat matatawa ka na lang sa effort niya kasi wala namang copyright ang taste at style mo, and you should feel proud na kagaya-gaya ka. And if you don't like their attitude, stop seeing them if the benefits don't outweigh the costs of this friendship.
Liked by: Muhammad Asad

Hi Tita. Last year nag message ako sayo, asking ano gagawin sa toxic na fam member ng GF. Bale hindi ko pinatulan. Ngayon, lahat ng sinabi nya sakin mukhang bumalik sakanya, kating kati ako mag message at sabihing buti nga. What to do. Di ako maka move on.

This is not an issue with the family member of your GF but an issue with your GF. Anong sabi niya? Why are you so affected? Nangyari na nga sa kanya ang masamang gusto mo tapos hindi ka pa rin masaya at gusto mo pa ipamukha sa kanya. Could it be jealousy because your partner is not making you feel secure with this family member? Discuss with your partner. She's the only thing you should be concerned about.
Liked by: Muhammad Asad

im 38F, my bf is 40 yo & is in US. We've been together for 2 years. He wants me to move with him. I like to. I would like to be w/ him and leave my life here in Phil. But I don't like his family. I don't wanna deal with them, directly or indirectly. I can see in future that they'll be a factor to us

Looks like you have a lot to think about. Have you met in person and spent more than a few weeks together? Disliking his family is a major factor and also not being on the same page about having kids. Having kids is great if you want to be a parent. Doing it for security is not fair to the children and is also no assurance of your security goals, especially in the US. It sounds like you need to have an honest conversation with your partner. Tell him what you told me and then discuss. It's not fair to him that he doesn't know how you feel but you're considering moving there.
im 38F my bf is 40 yo  is in US Weve been together for 2 years He wants me to
Liked by: Muhammad Asad

My partner randomly wants to check my phone. They ask permission but it puts me in a position where I cannot say no because it will make them paranoid. My question is, in a committed relationship, is there such thing as privacy? If I say no, they will think I have a secret.

Talk. Ask "Why do you always check my phone?" Or "What do you hope to find in my phone?" Or "I feel like I don't have privacy, but if I ask for it you might think I'm doing something wrong. Do you not trust me?" Relationships are about communication of our needs. Healthy relationships respect privacy. Unhealthy relationships and insecure partners insist on blurring boundaries and questioning your need for privacy. Insist on your boundaries with anyone or else you will be abused. Talk about these things or else your relationship won't stand a chance.
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pag breadwinner ba mahirap bumukod. pwede kasi naka alis na sila sa bahay, pero sagot pa nila gastusin dun

Boundaries. Just because tumutulong ka minsan doesn't mean habangbuhay sagot mo na lahat ng tao na hindi mo naman iniluwal sa mundo. But as long as tingin mo pasan mo ang mundo, aasa talaga ang mundo sa iyo. Single ka at babae ka kasi bakit walang expectation sa may asawa at pamilya na kargo ang buong pamilya nila?
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Turning 27 nxt yr. 3 more yrs before I graduate (2nd degree.) Im doing this in the hopes of being able to work in EU in my 30s. My peers,fam are pressuring me to get a bf na. Will it be too late na tlaga na in my 30s pa lang maghanap? I dnt want LDR eh so im avoiding dating & wanna try foreign hehe

You know if you're really secure about the truth and your goals, nothing anyone can say will convince you. But I'd you believe what they're saying is true, then you'll be affected. For example, they say that you'll be happy if you shave your head. That's not true and you're sure of it. So you won't shave your head. So if your happiness truly lies in fulfilling your plans, then if they say dating is the answer then you'll ignore them. But if deep inside you just want to marry, then you'll be insecure about your other plans and be bothered by what everyone says. So decide what you want and go for it. Otherwise, other people will decide for you.

Tita ano po dapat gawin sa partner na tinitiis ka di imessage???

Tinitiis ka ba o talagang wapakels lang sa iyo? Magkaiba kasi yon.

My partner and I are in an LDR. I came home for a 2 mos vacay and this is the first time were seeing eachother. Although we see each other almost everyday now, 6 mos ago I told him i wanted to go to coron. He is a VERY busy man, so lagi nalang nauusog yung date. Sobrang frustrated nako tita. Help

"When are we going to Coron? You promised we would go to Coron. I'll be very upset if we don't go to Coron." His response and action after saying this will determine his priorities, how much or how little he cares about you, and what you have to look forward to in this relationship. Problem is, if you don't let him know how important it is to you, it won't be important to him.

Hello po tita. Is it normal to feel jealous or insecure na may ibang naging sexual relationship or ka hook up (from the past) yung current partner ko? I only tried it once before, idk why i feel hurt kahit wala pa naman ako sa buhay nya nung time na yon. How to overcome the feeling :(

You're insecure about your partner's past because you're not secure about the present. There's just not enough for you to hold on to and you're afraid that their experience with their previous partners is more meaningful than what you have. Wala ka namang magagawa about the past than to accept it, and to remember that it's not a contest. Their past can be fun and meaningful, and even more deep than what you currently have. Just remember that their past made them the person they are and it brought them directly to you. Cherish and enjoy what you have rather than being preoccupied with the past and soon enough you will build more of your own history. Examine your insecurity. Kung feeling mo you need more "skills" then go ahead and develop them. Ask your partner what you can do better. Communicate these fears and insecurities. Talk. That's what relationships are for.

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