@shakirasison

Shakira Sison

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i remember i told my close aunt about my family problems but since she is talkative she told them to my family. bat ko daw sinisiraan sarili ko pamilya, ganun sabi sakin kahit naglalabas lang naman sama loob

Sorry you learned who not to trust the hard way. Marami pang ganyan sa buhay mo so at least now you know. It's hard to find people you can trust and usually it's better if you stay outside your family so hindi sila puedeng bumalik dun at baliktarin ang sinabi mo.

never blame a person for having toxic parents by saying that they allow them to continue. ph has a toxic family dynamics at di basta basta makawala even you are rich

I never blamed anyone for having toxic parents. But establishing boundaries is the only way to free yourself from abusers. Being rich or poor has nothing to do with it. If you're not willing to leave a toxic situation, then don't. You're responsible for your own life. You make your own compromises. But don't come here saying I'm blaming people for their toxic parents. We reap what we sow. We make our bed and then we lie in it.

Hi Tita. Pano po ba ang hatian if nasa gala kayo and yung friend mo na financially struggling ay hindi humahati sa Grab and then if kakain, mas madaming nakakain than everyone else? Di naman po financially struggling yung the rest of us pero di naman din kami mayaman. Lahat kami working na po.

Kung financially struggling siya, hindi siya dapat gumagala. Set expectations beforehand when you invite them. Say this is the share of the Grab, and we'll have dinner so that's going to be around xxx pesos, is that OK? When it's time to pay, say, "O ikaw, saan yung share mo?" And let them be uncomfortable. There's financially unstable and there's irresponsible and a free loader. What you allow will continue.

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what to do tita if my ex became in a rel with a friend of mine?

Wish them the best! Be very happy for them. Limit your interaction with your ex to what you're comfortable having. Otherwise be glad they found each other. Try not to be negative or you'll lose your friend as well.

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Hi, Tita! When someone approaches you and flirts with you, and talks with you every day na bagong kakilala mo lang, dapat ba tanungin siya kaagad what does he want from me? Kahit na I am being just a friend to him?

Kung di mo siya bet romantically, make yourself scarce. You don't have to reply right away or have time to talk. You control every part of your interaction. Hopefully he gets the message. If not say, "Sorry I haven't been so responsive. My boyfriend and. I were on vacation." The end.
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tita how to unleash your self to a relationship that is actually ruining you na? i don't know why my ex can't let go of me even we both changed and toxic to each other i can't let go from her kase every time i will pinababayaran nya lahat ng nagastos nya daw sa date namin

Alam mo na yan and when you're ready, you will. No one can make hoi so anything you don't want to do, unless hindi ka sigurado sa sarili mo then magpapabola ka sa lahat ng kalokohan niya. 🙄

Hi, tita! How do you know if your partner is the “one”? I know we’re still young and stuff (20’s) but I don’t wanna spend another 5 years with him if he’s not gonna be the one.

"The one" to what? If you don't want to spend the next five years with someone for any reason (including not being sure), he's not the one for you. There's only here and now. If this person makes you happy, build a life with them. If not, cut them loose. You may find that it ends in two, five, or ten or even twenty years. Does that mean that person isn't "the one"? Reframe your concept of love and relationships because all relationships end and everything is a risk. If you don't want to spend time with someone because it will end, don't even bother. Because it will end and that's a promise. What matters is what you shared and what you learned during that moment you were together. Even if it lasted one day.

hi tita! oks lang naman po mawalan ng friends pag magkaiba yung values and morals niyo ‘no?

Depends kung gano rin katatag ang morals at values mo. 🙂

Your thoughts po sa mga kakilala na nangungutang? May family friend po kasi kami and ngayon lang naman sya nangutang (saken, atleast) for the graduation fee ng anak na 24 yrs old, single mom mo yung nanay. Gusto ko man tulungan dahil kya ko naman kaso sa isip ko po na malaki na anak nya.

Huwag kang magpautang unless tanggap mong hindi ka mababayaran. Kung may extra ka at gusto mong tumulong, magbigay ka na lang at walang expectation ibalik ito sa iyo. Ang pagpapautang ay nakakasira lang ng samahan. Just give a donation. The end. Yan Naman din ang talagang gusto niyan e. 😂
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Tita may guy, half a yr nya ko inaaya at dami na reject b4 ako nakipagmeet. we became fubus. Till now pg inaaya nya ko dami excuse na tru nmn. Lately feel ko im falling, kaso nagmmsg nalang sya when we’re meeting. D kaya sya maturn off if i ask him out?possible ba mareciprocate feelings ko?

Ilang "ayaw ko sa iyo" ang kailangan mo pang marinig bago mo tanggapin na ayaw niyang makipagrelasyon sa iyo?
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how to deal with an abusive family na ginagamit na excuse ang love at concern

Lahat ng abuser ginagamit yang love and concern to continue to abuse you. It's up to you to define your own standards of love and concern, and if abuse doesn't fit in those standards, then you know what to do. The problem is whether you love yourself enough to do it.

tita i have good news 🥺 ever since nag pandemic po pabalik balik ako sa inyo dito venting abt my frustrations kasi nadelay din adulting life ko. pero ngayon kakapasa ko lang ng board exam tas may trabaho na din po ako 😭💗 ty tita for listening to me & for all ur kind words nung nagtitiis ako! 💟

Congrats congrats! Ayan na! Nagawa mo na! I'm so proud of you and from now on when you have a down moment you'll know that a better day is coming. Enjoy!

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Hi tita, my sister and I spend a lot for our parents. I make sure to provide. Kaso nasabi ko sakanya na gusto magpa beautify ng ipin kasi ang pangit na. Artista ba daw ako to do that. Ibigay ko na lang daw sa bahay. I deserve it though and I earned the money. Am I wrong to spend for myself??

No you're not. You should be your top priority. And the sooner you establish boundaries the better it will be for you. First off, bakit ka nagpapaalam ng gagawin mo sa ipin mo? Just do it. The more confident you are about your decisions and not acting like a child asking for approval, the less you will be treated like a child. Be an adult and object to another adult managing you or giving their opinions about you. Your parents would never stand for your opinions about their personal decisions, especially kung sila nagbabayad ng bills. Time to be an adult and a head of household. Boundaries.

Months ago I sent you a msg about how I did every possible thing that will help me to me get over my ex but still felt empty. 6 months later, I’ve moved on. Fastest ever in my dating life. Im responsible for my own healing and happiness. Thank you for always reminding us we are in control, Tita.

Congratulations! I love this! Thanks for coming back to tell us you feel better. Enjoy! 🎉🎉🎉

Tita mali ba na sinuportahan ko yung youngest sister ko na umalis na sa bahay kahit di pa sya legal age dahil sinapit din nya yung emotional and physical abuse na sinapit namin iba nyang siblings na now lang ulit naulit ng dad ko dahil sa parenting style nya at my mom taking it out on us at times?

Nung menor de edad ka at inabuso ng magulang mo, nangarap ka bang sana may ate kang kumuha sa iyo sa impyernong dinanas mo? You have a chance to do that for your sister now. If you have the means to help, then do so. But if you don't then also express that to your sister para hindi rin siya madehado. You can never become her legal guardian kung gusto ninyo. Walang mali sa pag-alis sa isang abusive situation. Mag-ingat lang na logistically kaya ninyo at may plano kayo. In the end you're a blessing to your sister and she will be grateful na andyan ka.

Wala pa po kasi siyang work and since birth nung baby nya, hindi pa po sya nkakapag bigay kasi nagkaroon po sya ng sakit. And yung baby mama, mejo eskandalosa po. Like puro posts sa socmeds account. Kaya po hindi nya dw ako mabgyan ng label. Sguro po yung hiya nya sa baby nya?

Again. Priority niya ang anak niya (dapat lang) at relasyon niya sa ina nito. Dapat lang magskandalo ang nanay kung pabaya siyang ama at wala siyang binigay mula nang ipinanganak ang anak niya. Pero wala dapat kinalaman ito sa iyo. Puede ka namang bigyan ng role at label pero alam niyang wala siyang karapatang makipagrelasyon sa iba a dahil may kelangan pa siya ayusin sa buhay niya bago siya makipagrelasyon sa iyo. Again, alam mo na yan. At kitang-kita mo na rin kung anong klaseng ama siya sa magiging anak ninyo. Ikaw lang ang ayaw kumawala, kasi siya kaya niyang i-risk mawala ka wag lang siya mapahamak sa kayang mag-ina.

Hi tita! I recently got rejected for a scholarship abroad and it was painful because it was my ultimate dream. 😭 Now I do not know what to do with my life. I lost motivation to work and I don’t know what to do next. I feel lost and insecure. I am having a quarter life crisis. Help! 😭

You got rejected for one scholarship, and not all scholarships abroad. Isn't it worth another shot now that you can possibly reflect on what you did wrong? And if it doesn't work out, I'm always a firm believer that what is meant for you will come. It's great to have ambitions but try not to call things your "ultimate" anything as they're all merely possibilities. We try and we fail and we try again. One day something will stick or something will happen that will make us realize that we were meant to be exactly where we landed. Have faith in yourself and don't peg your value on someone else's system. Establish your own.
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Hi, tita! My partner (m), lgi namin pinag aawayan ang label. Bc hndi nya maibgay sakin ang label. He loves me. Ramdam ko po. May anak po kasi sya and hndi pa maayos dahil di sila naghiwalay ng ex nya in good terms. He said kapag maayos na rel nya with them, tyka nya ako bbgyan ng label. (1)

Alam mo naman ang gagawin mo e. Ayaw mo lang gawin kasi in denial ka pa sa role mo sa buhay niya. Hindi ka maipagmalaki. Ayaw kang bigyan ng label kasi gusto pa niya ayusin ang pamilya niya. So anong tawag sa iyo? Ayaw kasi niyang tawagin ka kung ano ka talaga sa buhay niya. Alam mo kung anong tawag dun. Kaya nga nasasaktan ka e. Mahal kung mahal e kung walang pupuntahan ang pagmamahal na yan at nasasaktan ka lang, para saan pa? What you allow will continue. Alam mo na yan.
Hi tita My partner m lgi namin pinag aawayan ang label Bc hndi nya maibgay sakin

Hi tita, may jowa ako kaka one month lang namin pareho kaming babae and LDR kami. Okay naman kami mag usap sa chat pero pag nagtatawagan kami I can’t stand her. It’s the way she talks na parang tambay I hate it po. Di ko alam if I should continue dating her or baka masasanay din ako. Any thoughts?

My guess is you haven't met in person. Why don't you meet in person para makita ninyo kung meron bang chemistry. Kasi kung pananalita pa lang ayaw mo na may kahulugan yan.

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Tita, no question, just want to vent. I’m so tired in all aspects. I don’t have the energy and motivation. I just want to sleep all day.

Sorry you're so tired. Here's a great idea. Why don't you sleep all day? Take a day or 5 or 10 off and just sleep. Wake up to eat and do things you like, then sleep again. It might change your outlook. Good rest changes everything. 👌

Tita alam ko na mali na to pero ewan ko bakit di parin ako natatauhan yung gf ko (parehas kami girl) pag galit sya lagi nya ako minumura tapos sinasabihan na malandi, lagi nya sinasabe na atlis daw di nya ako sinasaktan pero tita di ko naman maiwan kase mahal ko yung tao ang sakit na tita 😭😭😭

That is verbal abuse, and also physical abuse because there are physical threats. Alam mo na ang sagot diyan, mahal mo man o hindi. Para sa akin napakahirap at napakatagal mag-recover from an abusive relationship kaya mas magandang umalis talaga as soon as you can, pero hindi tayo natututo hanggang talagang aping-api na tayo at minsan sinasapak na. When you're ready, you will. I'm praying you will kasi I'm worried about you. I've been there. Please get out.

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