#depressed

Yes. I went once or twice when I was in elementary school because the teachers at the school that I went to told my parents how quiet I was and I didn’t really have friends so they were worried. When I went to see the therapist, she was surprised because I wasn’t quiet around her and wondered if they sent the right kid lol. In middle school, I saw one regularly due to dealing with OCD and being depressed and I really liked talking to my therapist until I started high school. In high school, I didn’t open up as much to my therapist anymore or listen to what she would tell me to do and she felt like she couldn’t help me anymore so I was referred to see a social worker instead. The problem was, I didn’t want to see anyone at the time and didn’t feel as comfortable talking to the social worker so not long after, I stopped seeing her too. A few years later, I moved to another place in the same state (where I currently live now) and saw a therapist who specialized in OCD but I didn’t really click with her sadly. I stopped seeing her after she asked me if our sessions were helping me and I told her that they were but they weren’t helping “enough.” I currently am not seeing anyone but I agreed with my last therapist when she said that it’s best to take a break from our sessions and see someone else for my social anxiety (which I also deal with).

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I was diagnosed with a strange illness last year while I was on my Umrah trip. Alhamdulillah, the disease didn’t progress. However, since June of this year, it has resurfaced. It has affected me emotionally, mentally, financially, and socially. I found myself cornered, with loneliness and depression as my only companions. I sought help, directly and indirectly, but no one came to support me. No one took my condition seriously. Everyone just wanted me to be nice to them and tolerate their insolence instead. Alhamdulillah, I have regained a portion of my strength. I’m still going through multiple crises that I have never experienced before. I become weak and depressed from time to time, but I have learned that humans can never truly be relied upon. They lack compassion, empathy, gentleness, kindness, affection, and humanity.

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I pray and hope that my spouse, In Sha Allah, will possess all these beautiful qualities. I look forward to that. 😌

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Sometimes, I wish I had a superpower to change any bad or wrong situation that doesn’t suits our religion or thoughts. I wish I could change someone’s mind and thoughts about himself, if he thinks that he’s not good enough, or if he sees that he doesn’t deserve anything good or even he hates himself.. I wish I could have the power to be the reason for someone to return to the right path after a long journey with the darkness..
I wish I could be able to make everything more beautiful and shiny.

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I wish I could comfort everyone and gently stroke the heart of every sad person, as an apology on my behalf for the difficult life they are going through. I see everyone depressed and out of sorts, as if life has decided to be harsh on everyone. I wish I could leave a good mark on everyone's life so they remember me and forget what hurts them. I hope that one day my tender heart towards everyone will intercede for me.

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People have complicated the term "happiness" by making it seem extraordinary and rare. We wait for big events to happen before we allow ourselves to be happy, which raises our criteria for happiness. Without something significant, we tend to complain about life and its issues. Let's change that. Create your own happiness. How?
The first drop of rain hitting your face, and that tickle turning a stagnant expression into a genuine smile, is a path to a fresh and happy you. Why does a long drive change your mood? Why not stand under the rain? Just imagine how a fresh drop falls from the sky, knowing exactly where it needs to land, on you! Isn't that something extraordinary and fascinating?
That one cup of tea you made for yourself, and as you look out the window, whatever the view may be, you can absorb positivity from nature or from kids playing in the street. Feeding birds or animals can bring you unimaginable peace too.
There are countless ways to find happiness. You just need to discover them around you.

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Not a quote or poetry because they're useless.
I have written something for myself and I put a reminder every hour, 🕊️

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"If you want to avoid the conflicts Sleep.
If you don't to face the toxic people around you Sleep.
If you're angry Sleep.
If you feel completely unmotivated Sleep.
If you get easily irritated Sleep.
If you are overwhelmed Sleep.
If you're tired Sleep.
If you're stressed Sleep.
If you've lost something or someone Sleep.
If you wants to get rid of something Sleep.
Stop punishing yourself just get some Sleep.
If you're tired Sleep.
If you're lonely Sleep.
If nobody is understanding your words.Sleep.
If you're depressed Sleep.
If you're bipolar Sleep more.
If you're emotional Sleep.
If you want peace of mind Sleep.
If you feel disrespected,Sleep.
If you don't want to disturb anyone Sleep.
If you wants to speak about your heavy heart & you have no listeners only advices, Sleep.
If you're feeling empty Sleep.
List goes on.
If you're somewhere & you don't feel disrespected comeback home and Sleep.

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Sleep is better it's like a therapy instead of begging people to listen :)
If you don't have patience to listen advises which don't works.Sleep.
Everybody's thinking is far different. Respect

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Well, since everyone is different, some people will boldly let you know that they are depressed but it's a bit tricky to spot the ones that hide it. Over time if you keep trying you build up a gut feeling to spot them. Like they will avoid personal questions but when they talk, they will take everything as a joke, they will seem hilarious, they'll laugh at themselves as well and their humour can be pretty dark. They'll disappear suddenly & they won't give a reasonable, logical answer if you ask them why they disappeared. They will have certain erratic behaviours with no clear justification. Mainly you gotta read between the lines & think about where they are coming from & why one would say such a thing...

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That's all I know, a psychologist or psychiatrist will know exactly how to pin point them.

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