#drift

Some movies leave a lifelong impact on us and "Dil Chahta hai" is one of them. Showing us 3 phases of friendships each we relate to in different phases of our life
Phase 1. Sameer
Phase 2. Sid
Phase 3. Akash

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It has always been my favourite movie, and when ever this fort scene came as a kid i was always determined i won't let any of my friends drift apart and will always be with my friends, Little did i know just like Phase 1 Sameer that life would happen.
FF to 2016 got admission in university met the best people and made friends with them, never thought they'd be so important part of my life just like family after 4 years of university. From sharing our relationship/jokes and crush stories with each others parents, sleepless study nights, shootings, presentation come circus, theatre plays, making plans of pak tour and world tour to online covid graduation, right after that everyone started to move out, couldn't even say goodbye properly to each other and gradually 5/7 moved out to different continents, different countries. Only then i stopped wondering what sid meant and could relate to Phase 2 Sid when he said these:

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"No matter how hard you try to hold onto this sand, it slips through your fingers,"
And
“Jaante ho, hum teeno us jahaz ki tarah hai. Aaj nahi toh kal, hum apni manzilon ko dhundte hue niklenge, aur ho sakta hai ki humare manzile alag ho.”
" Lekin kiski Zindagi kise kahan lejati hai kya pata, Kabhi socha hai ki yahan har saal ana tou aik taraf, dus saal main 1 dafa bhi milna mushkil ho".

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Phase 3 is us all now. No matter what distance, what time and what difference, we still keeping that friendship alive as Akash said countering "esa kuch nahi hoga Sid, Hum dost thay, hain aur rahengay!"

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My best friend in high school, yes. While we never really put a label on it, or admitted our true feelings, it was very obvious we were into each other in more than a friend way. I think we both knew deep down we had strong feelings for each other. Most people who saw us but didn’t know us, thought we were actually dating. We got many comments like that… 😅😂

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But no, having feelings for them wasn’t the thing that wedged itself in between us, it was external factors that did it instead. Inevitably, we did slowly drift apart, and now we haven’t spoken in years. It took me SO long to move on from that, cause I still had such intense feelings for them, and it was my first time truly falling for someone in that way. It’s hard to forget or leave behind the first person you experience those feelings for/loosely dated. 🥺

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The trees are in their autumn beauty,
The woodland paths are dry,
Under the October twilight the water
Mirrors a still sky;
Upon the brimming water among the stones
Are nine-and-fifty swans.

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The nineteenth autumn has come upon me
Since I first made my count;
I saw, before I had well finished,
All suddenly mount
And scatter wheeling in great broken rings
Upon their clamorous wings.

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I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,
And now my heart is sore.
All's changed since I, hearing at twilight,
The first time on this shore,
The bell-beat of their wings above my head,
Trod with a lighter tread.

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Unwearied still, lover by lover,
They paddle in the cold
Companionable streams or climb the air;
Their hearts have not grown old;
Passion or conquest, wander where they will,
Attend upon them still.

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But now they drift on the still water,
Mysterious, beautiful;
Among what rushes will they build,
By what lake's edge or pool
Delight men's eyes when I awake some day
To find they have flown away?

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Source: The Collected Poems of W. B. Yeats (1989).

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I can not possibly hate anyone.

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Firstly, the only reason I might drift away from a person or become distant is to save myself from getting hurt due to not being acknowledged for what they mean to me because I mean very specifically, I mean everything I say or do, and what is dangerous for myself and them is the possessiveness I develop over them and the expectations I have for returning the same vibes I give off.

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Secondly, as far as love is concerned, I have always loved the people I befriended regardless of everything that ever happened, good or bitter, sweet or soar, the only thing I ever remember in a bond is the goodness and sincerity. And talk to God about each one, of how they taught me to become a better human being.

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Thirdly, there are no binaries when it comes to human beings.

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We are not saints and sinners.

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Rather, we are a bit of both, a product of our choices and consequences.

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There is no use creating such stupid binaries. None of us is the protagonist of Jane Austen's novels.

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Hola!! 🌿🌹🍂
▪️Me llegó repetida la pregunta, la usaré como free space.

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Enya 🇮🇪 - On your shore.
https://youtu.be/umN18Fu7y2s
Strange how my heart beats
To find myself upon your shore
Strange how I still feel
My loss of comfort gone before
🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹
Cool waves wash over
And drift away with dreams of youth
So time is stolen
I cannot hold you long enough
🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺
And so this is where I should be now
Days and nights falling by
Days and nights falling by me
I know of a dream I should be holding
Days and nights falling by
Days and nights falling by me
◼️♥️◼️♥️◼️♥️◼️♥️◼️♥️◼️♥️
Soft blue horizons
Reach far into my childhood days
As you are rising
To bring me my forgotten ways
🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹
Strange how I falter
To find I'm standing in deep water
Strange how my heart beats
To find I'm standing on your shore.
♥️◼️♥️◼️♥️◼️♥️◼️♥️◼️♥️◼️
Foto: Valparaíso, Chile 🇨🇱 💙🤍♥️

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"Amusement is a big factor but.. These piece are all nothing compared to what I'm working towards. Once I've created another being to rival myself I'll throw away all these wasted beings. The figure Draven Crowe demon guy is strong but he's no god he's PATHETIC. I have only master creating life below myself. Even in my human form I could care less for the little lives I've made.. All I want is..Another me. But they are always so unstable and fall apart and d!e.." glancing into the Hell chest she finds many rejected broken clones of himself that perished from power overload destroying them. I can only create things weaker than myself it's quite irritating.. If I ever create the perfect being all these rejects will be trashed. Including the little alien and all of her friends. They will have all severed their purpose. "she can tell he's a very hateful empty guy

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My friends. As if I still had them... Most of my friends have turned their backs on me, and I have turned mine on the others. I got distant with some because they had to move, some of them has to study, their partners get easily jealous, so they are not allowed to interact me in a way they used to, and some of them put me in a category where I don't belong. And it is hard for me to get and keep friends because I expect too much and I'm a hypocrite because I usually don't meet these conditions myself. Soooo yeah, I don't have most of my ol' friends now, I could make new ones, but I usually don't want to, no matter how much they like me, but if I was to make some, either I lose interest or them. If you asked all my acquaintances if I was their friend, I bet like 50 would say yes because I'm polite to them and I'm nice to pretty much everyone, but that's how I usually interact with people: I'm never nice because I like someone, I'm nice because I don't think people deserve to be rough on in any way. Even if I dislike someone, I'm nice to them, but if I genuinely hated them, I would just not be rude to them, I would still talk to them if they insisted, even these people might say I'm their friend. No. I'm. Fucking. Not. If I really liked them, they would know that I'm just trying to be nice to everyone. And I miss those people I used to really like, and moving away would make me think "I can't make up now and even if I tried, we would just drift apart because that's what it's always happened to me".

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Mine would be thrillers or true crime, because I'm a bit strange I guess. Something without a laugh tract or loud music. I find films from the 30s or 40s are fairly mellow - no war movies. Maybe a drama? I was raised in a small house, so I was used to falling asleep with the distant sound of the television. Spirited Away. Wonderful movie, I've seen it a million times and the adventure never gets less breath-taking. But when I want to fall asleep it's perfect. Soft yet rich colours, whimsical, airy and childlike tone and that wonderfully soothing soundtrack
The Ring The muted color palette and the abundance of rain makes me feel super cozy under the covers. Once you've seen the movie a dozen times there really aren't any more scares to be had and I usually fall asleep during the first half so miss some of the jump scares of the second half.
John Wick. I know the movie so well I probably quote it in my sleep. I always enjoy watching it but I know it so well that missing parts of it while dozing off doesn’t bother me. I can fall asleep 20 minutes in and then start up from the same point the next night
I see I'm not the only one who does this exact same thing. I put on movies that I know well so I can follow them in my head as I try to fall asleep. 3 that I use quite a bit are Jerry Maguire, Fools Rush In and The American President. Maybe give them a try, they work for me at least.
Anything by Apichatpong Weerasethakul. I say this as an admirer of his films: extremely pleasant to watch 20 minutes of and then just drift off. They're slow-moving, gentle, and have really engaging sound design so they work like a charm. Most of them tend to have pretty dark/subdued color palettes too so it's not a strain on the eyes.
I’ll be the one to actively not post movies in the movie group. I listen to podcasts a lot at night. Less exposure to blue lights when trying to sleep, infinite topics to pick from, most don’t feature abrasive audio. They are usually a steady stream of lower voices. I typically put some smaller ear buds in so that it’s not uncomfortable so the volume can be adjusted as needed. Hell, I listened to a movie podcast last night with Edgar Wright and Quentin Tarantino. If you do specifically want movies, I will always throw on Fellowship of the Ring on a sleep timer. Love the movie and seen it a billion times, so the pressure/desire of staying awake to watch it is minimal. The opening and set up is just long enough that before they even leave the shire I am typically out.
I also have tinnitus, add very bad insomnia for extra bonus points. I also use movies to help me fall asleep- and when a movie is working I'll start it every night when I go to bed until it quits working (I have an android tablet set up by my bed with both USB and microSD, with several medium with many movies on them). I'll also restart the current choice when I inevitably wake up several times through the night.

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