#enjoy

I think that your mother is grieving many losses at once. The loss of her family members and the loss of the physical strength she had a few years ago. Grief in itself is a very heavy feeling, it emotionally exhausts us. Along with this grief, she also fears for the future. She sees that your eldest sister hasn’t settled down yet and she has grown so weak already, would she even be there for all the rest of your siblings? Would she be physically and mentally able to get all of you settled down? This also is a cause of a lot of stress for a parent who feels like they’re physically declining because for most people, physical decline is a sign that they are losing control over their lives. If they are depending on others now, how are their kids gonna depend on them for their future? This thought scares them.
All this stress and anxiety, along with grief exhausts a person so they don’t feel doing anything that they once used to enjoy. You wouldn’t want to go and enjoy yourself if your mind is so burdened right?
One way to deal with this situation is help her open up about her concerns. But you can’t do that by asking her directly because she wouldn’t want to stress you guys out with her problems. So you could do that by creating a fake situation. Like say that you met a friend online jiski ammi is soo sick and she s so worried for her daughter’s future. She has x number of daughters and none of them are married. She has asked me for advice because she is my friend, what should I tell her mama? See what she says in response to that. Does she reveal her concerns too? Even if she doesn’t you can answer your own question by citing different ahadith. By saying ke you have read that Allah has promised that if something is written for something, even if the entire world is to gather against it, that person would get what’s destined for him. And tell her ke you know a woman on youtube who got married early in her life and thought she was so lucky but later own got divorced and now she recalls that her married life was a nightmare and she’d rather stay single. I know of a yutuber like that, that’s why I am mentioning this. So tell her that delay in marriage is because Allah prepares us for the life He has chosen for us. He has to equip us with all the skills we need to raise our children and live with the spouse that he has chosen for us.

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Baaqi grief of losses, tell her to read a few verses of qur’an everyday for all the people she has lost. Qur’an reaches the departed souls and Allah eases their hereafter as a result of this. Talk to her about your khalas more often. Don’t let her suppress these feelings of grief. Sometimes crying it all out is the solution. My mother saw my nani breath her last, right infront of her. I thought there’s no way my mom would be able to recover from this trauma. At first it was very hard, she wouldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard she tried. But then I started talking more and more to her about our nani.

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So i’m 19 and everyone is out clubbing. I just really don’t enjoy it. I suffer with bad anxiety and i can’t think of anything worse than a loud space, dancing, being approached by people. I’m more than happy to go for drinks or food but i hate how i’m made to feel not “normal” because i don’t go out out. Is it ok that i prefer to go out when it’s quieter and more chilled. I also have a history of sexual assault so i’m very wary on drunk men and spiking ect. I’d prefer to stay away.
I feel similarly. I’m in my 30s now and did my fair share of clubbing because I enjoy dancing. I’m also male, so I have less fear attached to things like that. But now I enjoy talking and having real conversations over drinks. It’s more enjoyable and safe and it feeds my soul more. You’re just ahead of your friends. Just don’t shame them for wanting to go out and invite them to more intimate gatherings when you can. You’re good.
Some of my friends used to look at me weirdly whenever I’d say that. I’m the same age as you and honestly I hate clubbing and loud crowded spaces just because I’m a quiet person. Nothing wrong with not liking any of that. My friends don’t bother asking me anymore just because they know I feel out of place since I don’t drink or smoke. I prefer chill quiet places too
I’m much older but when I was your age I always had much older friends and all the friends that I did have (Gf, etc) always wanted to club but I was much more mature and somehow passed that phase. You ain’t missing nothing. You do you and be proud that you are saving money by not participating.
Yep! I’m 24 and I’ve been clubbing once and hated it so much. It was hard when I turned 21 (I live in the US) and it was all my friends wanted to do, but you’re not alone and you should be able to find friends who want to do things that aren’t clubbing. And if your friends do enjoy clubbing you can obviously still be friends, maybe just suggest some other activities every once in a while and communicate your concerns if it seems like clubbing is all they want to do.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You are perfectly normal. I grew up in one of the "clubbing capitals of the world" so from age 18 to 21 I'd hit the club every week. I thought that's what I was "supposed" to be doing but never really liked it. Smelly, sweaty, drunk people all around you....also hated how girls degraded themselves for a cheap bottle.
I hate clubbing. I’m more of a sit at a bar type to eat and chat peacefully without loud music blaring directly in my delicate ears. I did try it a few times for a night-out with the girls due to a friends bad breakup but guys kept interrupting our time just dancing together. One even snuck behind me without warning and proceeded to rub himself. Like stranger please, you didn’t ask to dance and helped yourself to get handsy around my parts.

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The worst thing to become popularized in the last decade is the concept of extrovert and introvert. These things are not exclusive to each other and most people are not just one or the other. It's a spectrum that were pointed in and most importantly its a spectrum that can change due to a plorthea of circumstances.
Yip. I'm super introverted and love my alone time. But I'm also a massive party animal. I DJed at clubs/festivals for years as well. But I legit hate performing, especially in front of big crowds.
I always have fun with my friends from back home no matter what we’re doing. I also have fun with my brothers like we can talk and do random stuff (without alcohol) for hours and still have a good time. I’ve also realised that after COVID I’ve become much more family oriented compared to what I was before, not sure why. Yeahh, that makes sense. I feel like as I’m getting older, I’ve begun to love my ‘me time’. When I was in my first year at uni, I practically spent every single minute of everyday with friends. I only came to my room to sleep. I would NEVER do that now.
Even when I'm dancing I prefer to find a spot for myself so I'm not in a crowd. I'm usually the one on a speaker or something.
So I’m 24 and I loveee partying, clubbing, drinking, etc. When friends make plans to go partying, I’m always in. When I go for night outs, I genuinely have so much fun. You know when friends wanna leave the club early? I never do cuz I’m always wanting to stay till the end. However, I’m also an introvert. After a long day I legit fantasize about watching Netflix and chilling by myself in my PJs. So basically, I don’t really enjoy regular hangouts with my friends,as in going out to eat and stuff like that. If I’m doing something non party related, all I wanna do is leave so I can be alone doing my own thing. But while clubbing, I’m the opposite. Am I super weird for being an introvert that’s likes to party? It is absolutely ok. No one should feel forced to do something they don't want to do. There is a reason people go to clubs in a group so they can look out for each other. I think the biggest challenge for us as introverts is not how to avoid everything we don't like turning us into hermits. The challenge is to make sure we take the steps necessary to overcome these situations in a safe and fun way. Clubs too loud? Find a quieter public place. Dancing? Could that be just a insecurity? Find a way to dance home alone to build confidence. Approached by people.. Find a group with common interests that you can ease into. You are going to have to take baby steps to not only get over your trauma but to protect yourself from further problems. As a hermit myself I regret almost every day not taking a more proactive role in my life.

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It’s both limited and absolute. When it comes to laws and religion it is limited but there are groups of people here and also everywhere; who have an absolute freedom in the world. In his great book “History and Utopia” Cioran says: “It (Freedom) escape us at the very moment we try to grasp and formulate it: no one can enjoy freedom without trembling. Freedom is desperately mortal…” I remember his idea of freedom mentioned in “A Short History of Decay” يقول إن الحرية مبدأٌ إيطيقي من جوهرٍ شيطاني.😆 sometimes I feel that freedom is a wast of time because it’s one of thing that truly exist yet everyone likes to wonder does freedom exist or not?! Just by asking that question we proved that it does exist. Maybe that what i want to change… for that question to disappear so we can focus on what to do with that freedom rather than keep questioning it. Going back to the first part of your question, I quoted Cioran (because i like him) because he can say how freedom and be both limited and absolute in one society or civilisation… but either ways i feel like people fear freedom.

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