#goingout

Yes he is happy. He's happy that he has his life on track, that hes saving money rather than spending it on crap. He's happy that he finally grew up. Who said he has no friends? Whats wrong with my friends? Saeed likes hanging out with my friends. It's not my fault Saeeds old friends see me as someone stopping him from everything? Because I really don't. The nights I ask Saeed to ask people to hang no one wants to so how is it my fault that his friends only want him to get drunk, smoke weed and go rub their dicks on rata chicks at the club? Because if you actually knew Saeed you would know he doesn't drink or smoke weed because in his exact words "gym is going so great for me, don't wana wreck it". When I got with Saeed he knew me inside out and he knew why I was single for so long and he knew what I wanted in a relationship. I told him I'd rather stay friends and not to change but he was willing to himself. You act like he's the only one going through change, how about me? My life changed so much, what about my boys? I was one of the boys in my circle too.. But I left all that for Saeed. I don't go anywhere without him either. But were happy with that because we miss eachother too much apart, who will understand the joke without saying a word. Who will finish my sentences etc.. If Saeed was unhappy he would say it. You dont know our relationship, how close we are. Were not like other couples, that's whats trippy but if you want to ask Saeed if he's happy or not then go ahead, but dont go asking me if Saeeds happy or not. He has my friends if you think he has no friends. And if you are one of his old friends the. What is your problem with me? Why are you so selfish?

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Right this made me break down, i'm sick off this, it's not easy going 5 hours and 3 minutes away plus the extra 1 hour or 2 hours wait fro the trains when they switch over. If it was that easy i would of fucking gone up there, you come to me and say this, it works both fucking ways, you can say i dont deserve her and trust me i know i don't, trying to make things worse for me isn't helping, no one and i mean no one has actually helped me through this. @Medwaaaaay is the only person who gets me seriously, i'm sick, i've had death threats and people telling me to cut myself. What have i done wrong?

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She deserves the best anyone can ever give her if she lived closer then yeah guess what? I would of given it too her. It's not easy having over protective parents you know and i dont care what you say it's not helping in anyway at all, i feel sick, i feel ill and just digusted that i would get these messages, i haven't done anything, it's not my fault i can't see her much is it? I mean seriously come on.

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You try making distance work, it is the hardest thing to do, trust me, you obviously dont know, i hate myself right now and i dont know why, no one can pick me back up onto my feet, i need help seriously, urgh. I'm goingout tomorrow, all depressed then my mates will have a go at me most likely call me a "pussy" when none of them know about this, i dont care. Seriously so stfu about this you're the kinda person that kills me.

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