#hearttoheart

"In a moment that felt like a deluge of emotions, I found myself unable to contain the whirlwind within. Feeling overwhelmed, I sought solace in his presence, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe - nestled against his chest, ensconced in his protective embrace. Tears, unbidden and unchecked, streamed down as if they carried the weight of every unspoken sentiment. In that vulnerability, I allowed myself to release the pent-up emotions, finding comfort in his steady heartbeat, a rhythm that echoed a silent reassurance. Despite the discomfort, there was an unspoken understanding, an unyielding support that emanated from his patient listening. And as our paths diverged, I bid him farewell, carrying with me the echoes of a moment where emotions were unmasked, and a connection, albeit fleeting, was cherished."

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Yes, he deserves respect and honesty. And thereafter, he is able to make a decision to stay or work things out.

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But it doesn't end there for you. Usually, a person cheats because his/her needs are not met by their partner and there is a lack of effective communication. It's wise for you to self-reflect and re-evaluate on your needs and values regarding relationships, because if you fail to grasp on the true reasons for cheating, there is a high possibility of you making the mistake ober and ober again. And once you've been brutally honest with yourself, find ways to improve on those areas.

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Think through some of the things that you expect from a relationship. Were they expressed to met by your partner? If yes, good for you. If not, what are some of the ways to achieve those unmet needs (emotional, mental, physical, social, professional and spiritual?

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Learn to gather your thoughts and form a coherent flow of points to discuss with your partner. State what is happening in the relationship (certain unmet needs), how it made you feel and what do you really want (specific adjustments). And then, allow him space and time to ponder on and talk about it based on his perspective. Brainstorm and work as a team to resolve the issues, centering on mutually beneficial arrangements. Of course, some of your expectations may not be met but try to agree on a win-win compromise within these heart-to-heart talks. Remember, he has his own needs and rights to freedom of choice. Your partner is as flawed as you are but what matters most is doing right by each other.

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Communication is a tough feat but practice makes perfect. If your partner is willing to make things work, I think it's an encouraging sign. If he wants to adapt but doesn't know how to, teach him. For example, if you want to explore new territories in the bedroom and he's agreeable, safely show him how to please you.

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However, if your partner refuses to change for the long-term, it simply shows how insignificant you are to him. In this case, separation seems to be the best option instead of staying in an unhappy commitment.

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Sure, you may find solace from another man but it brings us to this question - why do you feel the need to prolong the pain of not being treated right and resort to acts of betrayal when you can cleanly break things off with your current partner and be with someone else?

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I believe the good and beauty in you. You slipped a little. It's alright if you feel remorseful and learn from your mistakes. Remain dignified, sis. All the best.

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Suicidal ideations, engaging in unhealthy behaviours, lack of drive and many other are symptoms of a much larger issue, these are cries for help. He's hurting but no one's listening, or at least that's how he perceives the world around him. If he's willing to establish a kinship with you, he's still holding onto hope. Understandably, his physical and psychological states may take a toll on the people around him. It's essential to exercise self-care, take time to indulge enjoyable activities and momentarily relieve any accumulated stress. When both of you are relatively relaxed, have a heart-to-heart dialogue, focusing on desired outcomes and relevant arrangements. Emphasize on your intentions to help, to Understand, to walk the journey together. Listen to understand, not to respond. Acknowledge and normalize his worries. Affirm his positive traits and collectively work on his potential limitations, manage his coping strategies, provide encouragement in every step, no matter how small it may be, and avoid discounting prior improvements. Rally other possible resources (family, friends, mentors, interest communities, mental health professionals etc) for a wider safety net and to shoulder the hardwork with you. No one is alone on this life journey. Jiayou! Here's a soulful song that may help you to understand an inner turmoil 💐

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Jacob Lee - Ghost

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https://youtu.be/3TQRkF8BLq4

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You could have been someone
But you let them into your head
I want you to know this instead
That I see the light in your chest
Ghost, where you from?
I can take you away, so far away
Ghost, I'll make sure they all see
The kind of man, that you can be
Open your lungs and inhale my words
I see in your eyes a reflection of hurt
The book in your mind hasn't come to an end
There's always a page, that hasn't been read

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