#hell

I look in the mirror and ask myself, "What the hell is wrong with you?" If it were possible, I would slap myself across the face too. Hopefully, I'd snap out of it. How could I possibly go through life and pretend that I can't find joy in anything when others are suffering, homeless, starving or in constant danger from a pointless war? There are children dying of cancer. People who have lost loved ones. Victims of crime, disease and totalitarian governments. I'm healthy. In good shape and fully functional. 👍 I have a place to sleep. A few shekels in my wallet. Enough food to feed an army. More books than I will ever have time to read. The dearest friends a person could hope to have and miraculously, they still tolerate my eccentricities. The freedom to pursue my interests and devote some time to worthy causes. This alone is enough to satisfy me. What could bring more joy than voluntarily helping others? If the day should come when I can't / won't find pleasure in anything, you have my permission to kick my a55. Twice.

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Hm for me I loved colourful stuff and quirky playful styles a lot. But I didn't have the confidence to wear it in public, as its very different to what people wear here. It also naturally makes you stand out a lot (albeit unintentionally). So I would wear colourful things and do cool makeup at home for photos but didn't wear it out in public. I wore more toned down alternative clothes.

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But one day I just got tired of filtering myself because I was worried people would judge me. So I made a new insta account (new back then, not anymore haha. It's been years) where I wore whatever the hell I wanted finally. And i started pushing my to wear it out too. Dyed my hair fun colours and all that too. I made the new account at the time, because I didn't want my real life friends on my original acc, to see it yet till I was comfortable like that in public. So kept them seperate. Then eventually over the years started adding more and more of my friends from the old account on the new one.

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I'm still casually dressed plenty times as I have multiple moods and styles. But I go out dressed how I want now. Even if it's as a human glowing popsicle for a casual walk in town.

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ups…. 🆘
at first i wanted to ignore it….

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then i also wanted to answer rudely….

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but i will answer like this…. how
much poison in you ….
drink something…. otherwise you can choke
on your anger….

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first …. i’m not a little girl….
what a ugly eyes you have “mature woman “…. if you see me like you wrote about me ….
never before i’ not heard

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words like this about myself….
you’ve even don’t seen me o know ….

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but
your words told me about only one thing….

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he won’t give me a chance…. i just become his🕸❤️ everything
a beautiful green eyes girl…. (not little) without whom he can’t breathe….!!!! ( in beautiful way….)
i’m his magical Inés ❤️

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guys i’m upset right now…
did i deserve this words….?!
in this beautiful Christmas time….
in my grief….
in last time absolutely wrong
people with
someone writes…. you are leading us…. o my God…. i leading….?
for what …?! o my God….
it’s absolutely not true….!!!!
i’m not leading anyone….
need check your health those who write such words about me….!

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and now
jealous woman….

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i don’t want to write here …. addressing him….🕸❤️

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it’s not beautiful some exes write

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but i know if he finds out about it….
( and he finds out i feel that)
he will take the necessary measures…!!!!

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but i want to say i don’t want even hear… not that they are wrote me about “all sorts of adult beauties “

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in the process or writing the answer…. i even forgot about you…

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you are ex…. and maybe even not an ex…. who know who are you ….

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and i’m not trying to make anyone jealous here….

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i’m in love…. and every word what i wrote write here….
every a little part of the what i’m feel about us….
it’s not your business but

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and i don’t even think about any woman or about any men…. either exes or those who like him now…. you have megalomania….!

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and i tell you one thing :

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today you yourself have closed a chapter about him in the book of you life….!!!!

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men need to avoid woman like you….
such women are already just trying to prove themselves that they can beat their rivals…. and get man back…. or don’t let go
just to prove themselves

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and of course “all “ that this man gives…. -this is an important part of the additional source glory…. plus a name
even silly little girl know that….

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but i’m not a rival …. nor yours…. or anyone else’s

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i’m maddening love of his🕸❤️ life….the whole life….

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bye ….✌🏻

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀【🐍】⠀ᴍᴀᴅ ᴅᴏɢ ᴏꜰ ꜱʜɪᴍᴀɴᴏ
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━⠀
⠀
⠀⠀The manifestation of that revealing sound made his legs stop walking, remaining just under the light of the lamppost. It was a matter of seconds before Majima would try to look up, only getting blindness and the vision of a darkened silhouette. How odd. How could someone stay on top of something like that?

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He also used to get into weird positions. He’ll probably steal the idea for some future use.

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Majima closed his eye, grinning.

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⠀⠀❝...Heh, don’t let that surprise ya. I always got one eye on me, perhaps, n’ am quite paranoid,❞ ⠀he spoke in a casual rhythm, his bat slightly dancing up and down his shoulder. For some reason he felt somewhat familiar with that female voice, but wasn't sure. He didn’t remember. His memory was a mess.

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⠀⠀❝Why don’t ya come on down? Ya could fall outta there. We don't want that, do we?❞

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https://youtu.be/I8yiFMI-FMk
Definitely this song
I Give text

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Tell me, you probably already know
I went through hell
No tears in my eyes
But something has broken
Will protect me
Walk on the bottom, you already know
I missed so many of them
Red flags
I thought - just a dream
And it was a sign
The weight of words sinks another moment
And in my utopia I persist
Tell me, you probably already know
I went through hell
No tears in my eyes
But something has broken
Will protect me
Walk on the bottom, you already know
Are you sure this is what you want? Sink every day with me
When I dream again in the open
I desire you
Next to Again someone knocks on the door
My fear is closing in
In my utopia-silence state
Because that's what I lack
The weight of words sinks another moment
And in my utopia I persist
Tell me, you probably already know I've been through hell
No tears in my eyes
But something has broken
Will protect me
Walk through the bottom, you already know
Tell me, you probably already know

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It'll be 1000 years from now. I'll be born as a handicapped child in New Delhi. I'll gain power and kill all the netizens of Pakistan. Be the King there. I'll change all the laws n punishments and entire constitution of Pakistan and change the nation's name into 'The Republic of Cannibals.' I'll buy cannibals from all diff. countries and forests and protect them in my nation. I'll prepare a highly skilled military force of cannibals and use these cannibal soldiers and my new nation to serve India. Criminals who commit crimes in India will be sent to the Republic of Cannibals and tortured until they join the cannibal military force (they'll have to become cannibals). Severe criminals (rapists, murderers, treacherers, terrorists) will be cooked and eaten on festivals. Cannibal soldiers can have max. 2 children, (the 3rd one will be cooked and eaten). I'll write the new National Anthem of my new nation. India will grow much prosperous than ever under me. Cannibals will be respected all around the world. But later after achieving massive success n power, I'll become greedy and shake hands with China. Now I'll use my special military force to serve China just for power n money. China will throw atom bombs in many European countries and World War 3 will start. China will be responsible for massive destruction all over the globe. I'll realise my mistake that I shouldn't have been greedy for money n power and helped China. I'll commit suicide out of extreme guilt. China will continue to threaten the world. A great scientist will be born in India at that time (reincarnation of APJ Abdul Kalam) and he'll finally invent the formula to be invisible. The Indian Army will use this formula to be invisible. India will join the European forces to defeat China. China will be destroyed by the Indian forces. India will become the most prosperous country after World War 3. The Republic of Cannibals will be included in India as a new state under the greatest scientist and leader (Kalam).

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⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ꜱ ᴏ ᴛ ᴇ ɴ ʙ ᴏ ʀ ɪ, ???
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀09:XX ᴘᴍ.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀【🍾】⠀ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━⠀
⠀
⠀
⠀⠀⠀The bad feeling was right.
⠀
⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"How many times I will have to
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ᴅɪꜱᴄɪᴘʟɪɴᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, huh?"
⠀
⠀
⠀⠀In some uncrowded area, specifically a dimly lit and narrow alleyway, an indifferently behaved individual restrained another with significant force from the neck, choking him. The unfortunate one receiving this dangerous treatment was Majima, who only had the only option of bearing it and not making a sound. The pain in his neck was hell, almost no oxygen was getting into his lungs. At any moment, that man could take his life.

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"You didn't come home ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀yesterday… none of my boys ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀saw you all night… I'm sure ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you'll have a good explanation, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀right?"

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The man said with a tone of voice that was difficult to find out if there was a bad intention behind it or not.

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⠀⠀⠀❝H...Hck—❞

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Oh, I don't like the times you ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀turn into a ʙᴀᴅ ʙᴏʏ,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Majima-chan...you're not up
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀to something, are you?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀What will Shimano think of
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀all this, huh?"

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The pressure in his throat became much stronger, making it impossible for the one-eyed man to speak. It was too oppressive.

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Сейчас будет ностальгии длиннопост! Так уж вышло, что вторая половина нулевых, до десятого года включительно, была для меня целой эпохой. Тогда я был совсем другим человеком. Что, наверное, не удивительно, учитывая сколько времени прошло. Прекрасно помню какие группы, альбомы и треки слушал в 2010 году. С удовольствием многие переслушиваю. Сразу уточню, что в список войдут альбомы и треки всей второй половины нулевых. Слушал и слушаю до сих пор:
Deftones - альбом Diamond eyes - заглавный трек из него.
Lady Antebellum - альбом Need you now - одноимённый трек.
Within Temptation - альбом The Heart of Everything - с удовольствием слушаю The Cross и Final Destination.
Sick Puppies - Tri-Polar - с этого альбома возвращаюсь к Riptide и Master of the Universe.
Hoobastank - For(Never) - нравится The Letter. Пусть в догонку будет древний трек The Reason - готов всегда переслушивать.
Rev Theory - Light it Up - Hell Yeah!, You're the One, Ten Years и Far from Over.
Nickelback - на мой взгляд их лучший альбом вышел в 2008 году Dark Horse - часто слушаю Gotta be Somebody и If Today Was Your Last Day.
Theory of a Deadman - Scars and Souvenirs - с этого альбома возвращаюсь к By the Way и Got it made.
В конце нулевых - в 2008 году вышел прощальный альбом Reamonn с одноимённым названием. С этого альбома переслушиваю Faith и It's Over Now.
Muse - The Resistance - Uprising, Resistance и Unnatural Selection.

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Наверняка пропустил уйму всего интересного. Это те группы и песни, которые первыми пришли на ум.

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It isn’t even about the platform you’re using. My LinkedIn is full of random (not professional) msgs and they’re all by men. One even had the audacity, to endorse me for certain skills when he doesn’t even know me?? Do you think you’re using Facebook? Ajeeb they’ll do anything to start a conversation and here? Guys go around making fake accounts and talking shit on shoutouts just another fucked up way to seek attention.
Likewise the concept of privacy has gone to hell. Women are treating every other platform like Instagram and it will always be beyond me how people go around giving their snapchat Ids to random people? **If you’re not an influencer or a public figure** why are you hell bent on making your life, public? That too knowing VERY WELL the kind of perverted people we have in our society? Adding the people you know or get along with, is fine! But literally distributing your personal account id’s like candies? What do you think it signals about you? Your Prince Charming isn’t going to find you this way and he certainly wont be added with every other woman, out there lol.
It’s saddening how people are so deprived of basic love and care in their lives that they desperately seek it from the wrong places.

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Dear
I know you're not the type
To verbalize your thoughts
But know that I see you
The wonder within you

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Dear
We come from different tides
Like sunrise and moonlight
So how'd we arrive at
The mountain we're climbing
To the peak

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Only the two of us can understand
The sureness of our love
I promise you that I will hold your hand
No matter what may come
My dear

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Dear
We've been through hell and back
But if anyone might ask
I'd choose to go through
The fire again with you
Certainly

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There will be times when we don't see beyond
Our differences and the things we don't agree on
Get on each other's nerves with careless words
We throw in the height of strong emotions
But know that I will stay
I'm with you all the way

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Only the two of us can understand
The sureness of our love
I promise you that I will hold your hand
No matter what may come
My dear

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Won't you spend a little while with me?
I can wait for eternity
Just for a second of your time
My dear

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Only the two of us can understand
The sureness of our love
I promise you that I will hold your hand
No matter what may come
Within the beautiful and captivating
Strangeness of our love
I found a sense of peace and clarity
That I had once dreamed of
My dear
My dear
My dear

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