#hell

🇷🇺 Новые ощущения - новые события, которые потом я буду помнить всегда‼️

---

Ощущение «Я дома» чувствую до сих пор, когда нахожусь в городе моего детства, хожу по тем местам где я была с дедушкой‼️ Ощущение «В Аду» я вспоминаю из школьных годов☝🏻‼️ Ходить даже не буду в эти места‼️

---

Ощущение «Я - самостоятельная» ощутила, когда одна приехала в Махачкалу на 52 день годовщины смерти дедушки‼️

---

🇺🇸For me new sensations is new events that I will always remember later‼️

---

I still feel the feeling of "I am at home" when I am in the city of my childhood, I go to the places where I was with my grandfather‼️ I remember the feeling of "In Hell" from my school years. I won't even go to these places🤦🏻‍♀️‼️

---

I felt the feeling of "I am independent" when I came to Makhachkala alone on the 52-nd anniversary of my grandfather's death‼️

View more

Probably my most recent ex-girlfriend. I met her about four years go, if not longer, and had a crush on her immediately. Our friendship fluctuated. We'd talk for hours on end, then not hear from each other for weeks, and this went on for about the entire duration of our friendship, until about six months ago. I was dating another girl, Lilly, and our relationship was heading way south. At the same time, I started talking to Rachel again. After about a week of Rachel treating me better, and us genuinely just connecting more than Lilly and I ever did, I left Lilly and then a few days later started dating Rachel. It was great. For a week. You see, Rachel is batshit crazy. Rachel dumped me after a week. And then we got back together. And then broke up. The first two and a half months were mostly her dumping me and us getting back together. Finally, we got back together and stayed together for about three and a half months, and it was the absolute best relationship I've ever had. I've never been closer to another human being. I've never loved someone more. She was sweet, cute, and always treated me well. But, then.. I don't know. I just.. stopped loving her. It wasn't like with Lilly. Lilly and I went south as a relationship. We had issues and they didn't work out. Rachel and I? Everything was fine. We're still great friends. I still care about her. But, we're not getting back together. We're just not fit to be together, I guess. I am currently in love with my first boyfriend. I know, we're young and all that, but I had no idea that I could feel so close to someone. He makes me feel so whole. I can't describe it, but I know it's more than the usual 'first love' thing that adults joke about. We are both 18, and I don't know where I'll end up, but I sure as hell hope it's next to him.
I thought I had. I thought we'd be together forever, turned out to be just 4 years. He broke up with me because he didn't love me anymore, he said. 3 months later he's dating another girl and it's killing me. I don't know how to live for myself anymore, it sucks. Hardest thing I've been through so far in my life.
Yep, my car salesman at Carmax. She was really friendly and sweet. I was very impressed with her strong handshake when I first met her (weird I know but as a woman who has worked on my handshake I love when others have firm ones instead of dead shakes). She was very easy to talk to and we both are going into environmental careers. She knows where I work so maybe I'll see her around. There's still a chance I'll see her when I go in to test drive and sign for a car but I've never had luck with the ladies. It's hard to find other queer ladies in this world haha.

View more

Falling. Due to nerve damage I’m not super stable. Having to shut down a conversation when I get upset or angry to avoid embarrassing myself with going through a ptsd attack.
I misplace my eyeglasses or phone. Have to ask for help at times finding them.
Forgetting words when speaking...but then there's a reason for that. Girl in HR comes to my office every single day 2-3x to bring me coffee and talks to me for what seems to be hours. I wouldn't have a problem with it but she goes into weird subjects about love is the universe and that love must be shared then goes into her fantasies about domination and loving pain. It just weirds me out. I work in IT so we have a lot of down time unless the network goes down which makes her stay in our office. It basically got to a point where I created a script to purposely knock a few printers off the network so I can get her out there office.
I must have a trustworthy face or maybe I walk in a determined way or something but... I get asked for directions all the time and I feel like I must help even though I am very awkward when interacting with strangers. And this also happens to me in places where I'm a tourist myself and it gets doubly awkward.
I live in a high rise apartment building on the top floor. There is a blonde girl around my age (mid 20s) who lives 4 floors below me. She is absolutely incredible and I have a freakin huge crush on her. I make her laugh every time I see her, and we greet eachother with a smile and a "hey it's my favorite stranger" greeting. I am super flirty and she sends it right back. But every single time she gets off the elevator I get super withdrawn and always fumble my words. "Oh have you a day... have a... great? Yea see ya" it's excruciating. I'm never fumble-worded with people, it's ONLY HER. And it happens almost every single day. The worst is, since we live so high up, the elevator rides are long (elevator is slow as hell too). So we get to have these nice little conversations, only to be ruined by my inability to not be awkward while saying goodbye.
I'm a big guy. When I go to the gym, I want to get I there, work out without making a fuss and go home again. Yet every gym I've been to, staff gravitate to me like flies round shit. I don't want to be their friend or their pet project, and when I'm running or cycling and sweating my ass off I don't want to chat, I just want to be left alone and never be seen again and forever disappear from the face of the Earth.
One time I went on a run with one of my neighbors, she was widowed [young, unforseen health issue] and on the way back the neighbor offered us a bottle of wine "she had sitting around for a long long time". The girl I was running was trying to hold back laughter and took the bottle of wine. Turns out it was a bottle of wine from her wedding, she knew this because of the custom "Table #" labeling. . .She had literally thrown the bottle into the dump behind the complex that very morning.

View more

I mean! I could you be you and go support her like you have kasey! I don’t believe a word you say! Because you support people who suggest people should kill themselves. ( no I’m not talking about gabby had to say that before you get your grannie panties in bunch) you support people who have caused a lot of hurt to people, you support people who fake profiles all the time! I mean hell you join in all the bullying as well! You’re trying to make it okay! You see how it feels when a dumb ass person tries to support someone who as done dumb ass shit! But the difference between me and you is, you still support that and you still defend what that person did! I don’t support that other girl. If you actually didn’t bully, and or didn’t defend people who are the problem. Maybe I would listen to what you are saying!

View more

I've changed tremendously. i’ve drastically changed in the past year or two and ever more since i was in high school.
Changed, used to believe that some people were better than they actually are, now I recognize their selfish patterns fast.
And there are things that I appreciate now more than in the past. Physically.. Haven't changed that much.
Absolutely ! You have to adapt and modify who you are as you go through life.
I've changed, have become more bitter.
23 year old me: working a fuck ton in something my field can be applied to (statistical research which I love and math/chemistry which are the reasons I thought I would love engineering), staunchly feminist (working on progressive campaigns and escorting at abortion clinics in my free time), dating less shitty people. I'm the same in that I still push myself to the limits in terms of work and school, but it took me six years of undergrad at two universities to figure out what I was doing wrong (dating abusive people and studying something I hated because I thought it was what I wanted to do), and I actually enjoy pushing myself now, and I've got a guaranteed job in my field that will pay for my grad school when I'm done. It makes it a lot easier to be passionate about things, and I'm not stuck in a "Cs make degrees" mindset anymore. I miss teaching aerobics, though, so I might do that again. 16-21, huh? I've changed a hell of a lot. My self-esteem was utterly awful, and I took myself way too seriously. I was afraid to say anything good about myself in case it came across as arrogance. I took very little care of myself hygienically and had something of an obsessive nature when it came to girls I liked (not stalkery, just when I liked a girl I only had them in my mind). These days I'm a lot more relaxed. I recognise that there are things I'm good at and good qualities about myself, and I'm not afraid to express that with the right amount of modesty. I started taking care of myself and due to some bad experiences with women I started to become less quickly attached. I don't know whether it's because I got over my depression that these things happened or vice versa, or even if it's unrelated. All I know is that I look at who I was back then with a lot of disdain, but in a way I'm glad all that shit happened, because those experiences shaped me as a person. I think if I'd made different choices I would've wound up very different, and I'm pretty happy with who I am. 5 years ago I was 17 so I would say I stopped being a pretentious asshole who thought I was too good for people and small talk. Now that I'm 22, I'm just learning how to interact openly and honestly with people. Also figuring out how to be an overall genuine person rather than someone who just adopts the opinion of another group/culture/value system.

View more

Only if someone who have read the webtoon "my deepest secret" and know about YOHAN in it, can understand what type of guy every girl deserves. He's just phenomenal. Like I Want believe in love again just because of him. What a man he is. He accepted a girl with multiple personality disorder. He loved her even when she tried to kill him assault him. Even after knowing her mental condition and the biggest traumas she have went through and all the people she have hurt unintentionally just to save herself. He was a law student and he said "hell with justice" just to save her. Like I am speechless. He respected her, take care of her every single time. He's so intelligent, handsome, understanding and kind. So kind and a man with heart of gold. He risked his own life for her, left everything just to keep her safe. He does efforts to know the truth about her life and like such massive truths noone can handle but he supported her and loved her. I have no words 😭😭🌸🌸 I pray every girl gets a man like yohan.

View more