#hookup

I always thought I had rotten luck, but some people have it even worse than I do. They have shitty parents who don't teach them how to be good adults. Most stupidity in life comes from your parents setting a bad example, and not pushing you hard enough to succeed.
If you think you have bad luck and are constantly complaining and depressed and just waiting for a miracle your life will be full of bad things whilst the life of someone that get over the shit that life throws at him and keeps being active and making good things happen will look like has better luck overall.
Someday someone wins, while someone losses. What goes around, comes around.
I like to think of it as proof that fate doesn't play favorites. Everyone gets their turn in the shit bowl.
I’ve always been unlucky, in all aspects of my life. Big things like love, money, and family, small things like waiting in line just for them to close right where it’s my turn. I’ve gotten used to it in some aspects and I don’t expect much anymore but it’s so frustrating!! I needed to get paperwork done today and waited for 3 hours and when it was finally my turn, the system malfunctioned. I don’t want this anymore and I don’t know if I’m cursed, if it’s some sort of envy, or it’s just bad energy. How can I get rid of this dark cloud following me? I try not to talk about anything anymore because all i get is criticism for going for the wrong type of guy, my housemate last night told me I made the wrong choices for letting people from my past back in...this from someone who just started dating a hookup from 4 years ago. I feel so tired of being told what I'm doing wrong, from people who do the same themselves or have no idea. Im tired of being told to look for a different type of guy when I'm not fucking looking, things just happen. I'm tired of being told to find new friends because the ones I have arent very good, by a person who gets drunk and tells me how stupid I am with my life, a person who spent a year going back to someone who didnt like her, who was perfectly happy discussing the downfalls of her choices in men and how she admired me for walking away when i was in a similar situation until she now has a bf of 1 day and is condemning my choice to keep seeing someone that doesnt want a relationship...
I feel like I dont belong anywhere and want to give up, but I truly cant. I feel like the universe considers me only worthy of one good thing at a time, I get nominated for a promotion at work so my cat is potentially going to die. I am feeling particularly good one day so my car breaks down. I'm always attracting people in relationships or that won't commit or are just a complete mess. It feels like this endless cycle of fuck you for wanting to have things. I've never been overly successful at a career (so I guess it's easier for me) and I guess I'm pretty much over it emotionally. What I mean is - making money is important, but I don't find fulfillment/validation through my career.

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I can only speak from my personal experience. There are essentially four types of personalities who utilize askfm: Troublemaker, Penpal, Romantic and Narcissistic Cheater.

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1. The Troublemaker - this is the individual who thinks it is funny to insult people and to degrade and diminish other people in order to make themselves feel better. It is best to ignore and block the troublemaker.

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2. The Penpal - these are folks who like to write and are looking to communicate with interesting people who also like to write and enjoy sharing hobbies, thoughts, poems, songs and ideas. Sometimes Penpals can even develop into long distance friendships. This is how I use askfm. I enjoy writing and I attempt to find other people who also enjoy writing. There is no romance, flirtations, sex or any other nefarious activity perpetrated by the Penpal. They are writers.

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3. Romantic - These people join askfm looking to find a husband, wife or partner. In a sense, they treat askfm as a dating site where their goal is to fall in love and live happily ever after. Personally, I do not see askfm as an effective date site and I have seen very few long distance online relationships turn into successful marriages or partnerships; although, it does happen. Because these LDR's typically have no physical contact, they create a burden that is unsustainable, and that most healthy couples cannot tolerate.

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4. Narcissistic Cheater - I spend much time researching and discussing this type of relationship because the Narcissistic Cheater is so prevalent among middle age couples between the age of 35 and 55, but also because they are ruthless people who are willing and able to destroy marriages, friendships and families in order to find sexual partners to satisfy their insatiable sexual needs. The Cheater spends most of their time in social networks looking for sex. Their primary motive is sexual in nature and involves roleplaying, sexting, sending erotic and suggestive text messages, nude photographs and porn clips where sex is explicitly stated and words like "adore, love, adventure, horny, infatuated, clandestine, hookup, erotic, orgasm, amorous, erogenous, massage, sensuous, sensual, attractive, lustful, dangerous, lust, lustful, horny, romantic, passionate, aroused, cherish, venerate, palatable, pleasurable, attractive, enticing, alluring, captivating, hypnotic, tempting, inviting, intriguing, angel, Guardian Angel, honey, dear, pretty, beautiful, riveting, tantalizing, cherish, worship, massage, stimulate, fondle, arouse, awaken, provoke, motivate, enflame, etc are used to attract and stimulate their targeted victim who are typically very young.

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Several days ago someone asked me what angers me the most about social networks and I responded: the Narcissistic Cheater because they enjoy destroying marriages, relationships, families and friendships. The Narcissistic Cheaters are loathsome people who deserve our collective contempt and disdain. :D

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It is NOT love, but lust. So the answer is that yes it is possible to look at an avatar photograph and fantasize that you are in love, when in fact you are "in lust" with a two dimensional image of a person whom you do not even know. How dysfunctional and psychologically disturbed is that?
My friend, whose beauty is extraordinary, actually had to remove her photograph from her askfm profile because she had a persistent male stalker who could not control his 22 year old libido, lust and sexual urge. This same stalker had the audacity to visit her home town in the spring of 2021 to locate her in the deluded hope that he might hookup with her at a local motel (sick stuff).

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That is when I decided to intervene and recommended that she remove all photographs and images that might encourage such deviant behavior, which she did. We (several online friends) also confronted this moronic stalker and eventually forced him to stop his harassment and inappropriate behavior(s). It took us 3 months of effort, but eventually he moved on to his next victim while claiming victory in an auspicious but failed attempt to redeem his shattered machismo image.

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Being with a woman you love is far better. It's more intimate and passionate and if you can communicate well together (which I believe everyone should be able to do), then you will know what she likes and she will know what you like and the sex will be inherently better. Hooking up with a random chick is not nearly the same as sharing a sexual experience with someone you care deeply about. There's nothing like making a woman you love feel incredible just as there's nothing like feeling incredible at the "hands" (;) of a woman you love. The experience is far deeper and means much more.
Having a loving or even just an intense cerebral connection with a partner is so much more satisfying than sex for its own sake. As has been said, sex without connecting is just mechanical and isn't as satisfying at the end of the day. It's like eating McDonald's, you feel full for about half an hour, but then you're hungry again afterwards.
Both have their own ups but if you ask me, doing with the one you love is something that you cherish unlike a casual hookup. When you have sex with someone casually, there really isn't much going on beside pleasing yourself. It's the type of sex that you'll remember as "oh yeah.. I remember doing her" and thinks nothing more of it. On the other hand having sex with someone you love is ultimately better. Having sex with the person you love means that both of you are sharing a deep intimate moment. A give and take relationships. You aren't doing it only for yourself but for each other, wanting your partner to feel ecstacy is each others pleasure. That's they type of sex that have no regrets and the type that you always look back on with a smile and think I'm really happy that I did it with that person. Anyway that's my take on it
The human body is weird, most of my best sex has been in a relationship with real meaning.... except this one girl I hooked up with for a few weeks, we couldnt even have a basic conversation because we had that little in common but every time we had sex it was on par with the most passionate nights I've had with someone I truly care about. I still do not know what was different about that situation.
I guess because I meet my men online, I'm hyper conscious of my physical needs. With the current boyfriend, I moved in quickly and we have sex almost daily, sometimes twice a day. I need hugs and kisses throughout the day, and sometimes I just touch him to touch him. I am incredibly physically affectionate.
Thus I never consider sleeping with a woman until after the third or fourth date at the very earliest. I need to know that my partners and I can be compatible for the long-term. It's very rare for me to have a relationship shorter than 6 months.

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After the deed, there's this blissful feeling that settles down around you. The endorphins are flowing and you're lying in bed next to someone who is more attractive than anyone else in the world. You adore every single detail and gaze into each others' eyes. Every touch feels 100x better and you can't get enough of each other. It's one of the most profoundly beautiful emotional experiences in the world. Pure satisfaction.
I've never had non-marriage sex so I can't really compare but one thing I've noticed about our experience is that there wasn't nearly as much pressure to perform flawlessly every time. We were both virgins so we knew that there was going to be a learning curve in the beginning. We didn't have to worry that if I finished too fast once or she couldn't finish or queefed too much or whatever that the other person wouldn't talk to us again. It gave us the security to fail without worrying the relationship would be over, which allowed us to try new things and not get so locked in to one thing that works but gets boring after a while. It also helped us to put aside a lot of the hangups I see other people have. We're all we've got and if I had refused to ever use a dildo on her for fear of her liking it more that my dick or she never learned how to suck dick right we would have a boring ass sex life. We put in the time to make it good for each other but if we ever can't perform we know we will have another chance to get it right.
Hook-up are like going to the gym. It is a good workout, fun, and pretty chill without any commitment but it is a passable moment that doesn't really carry any extra weight. You carried out the action to meet an end (whatever your particular goal is). Mild chemical high. Sex with someone you love is a strange yet hard to describe feeling. If I were to be completely straight faced, I would say that it is similar to any action that you are hugely emotional invested in (painting, drawing, whatever you love) then ramp up the chemical high to awesome. Or I could say it is completing a race that you passionately trained for months, watching fireworks for the first time, and listening to a song that touches your soul all at the same time. No comparison. Plus the cuddling afterwards is filled with less regret.
I just wonder how guys feel about having sex with their fwb. Cause honestly I feel like these responses can't really describe the way me and my ex fwb used to fuck and how we felt about each other. it wasn't super intensely passionate but it definitely wasn't awkward and was still a little lovey dovey and stuff too. Never had a random hookup but from what I've read in many different subs, being with someone you like/love is much more intimate. While hookups may be fun and exciting, nothing beats the intimacy and closeness you get with someone you truly care about.

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m nt posing nude in my pics, m neither promoting sexual content here nor m i looking for someone to hookup with, i know what i want n what i dont want, same is the case with odr girls who go through such harassment or even rape. U ppl say that it is a girl's fault thanx to her dressing n all that she is kidnapped or raped, it is her fault that she is wronged by someone she trusted n loved, u ppl will nvr admit ur fault or the fault in ur upbringing that u merely see girls as sex objects rather than humans. Before being a woman, i am a human n i deserve respect. All the kids who r raped n killed r also humans before being ur lust control therapies. I didnt trigger this person to send me such a thing in my inbox, it is his own act yet if i am blamed for it than I suppose men like u should really b killed when sighted. If an infant wearing a diaper, if a woman wearing a burka or even a girl wearing jeans means same to u then it is nvr a victim's fault. My honour dsnt lie in my clothes or vagina. Ur honour lies in ur conduct sir

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i think abortion outside of cases of rxpe and incxst is irresponsible and it's also wrong to continuously use them as your form of birth control. it almost seems as if having an abortion is something to be celebrated these days and that doesn't sit well with me. this doesn't mean i think it should be made illegal though cuz the cons of that would still outweigh the pros, but i view it as similarly as i view something like smoking. it's not the best choice, but it's still your life to live.

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i somewhat miss traditional values when it comes to marriage and family might i add, an incredibly important foundation of every society. sometimes shame is a good thing and if people actually refrained from casual sxx and instead focused on maintaining a decent marriage and having children within that family unit, abortion rates would surely decrease. but with hookup culture and people straying away from religion more and more everyday, there's no more hope for that utopia.

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so, with that being said, instead of preaching abstinence perhaps we should try to empathize waiting until you are an adult or are able to hold down a job and drive should you become a parent. birth control needs to free and readily available to everyone, no parental consent needed. every single method should be covered. hell, the development of male birth control would be a wonderful thing too. overall, sxx ed needs to be far more comprehensive and parents need to be more open and honest with their children about these things.

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It's not easy. Never was, never will be. However, even though you might feel that they will always have a part of you that you can't take back and it will be the reason why your heart will still skip a beat if you see them years later, but you know what? That's gonna stay for a few years and then it fades into nothingness. As if, all of it never really happened. This will ultimately end up to you believing that the person was always a stranger to you. Actually, tbh no amount of time is enough to get to know a person entirely. So, don't go back to this person who just wants your body and doesn't love your soul. A book's cover will wear off with time, but its the pages that remain, even if they are falling apart. Those who can't hold on to the valuable pages and throw them away telling that it's an old book, don't deserve to own one in the first place.

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