#joke

216 people

50 posts

Posts:

What is a prayer that you say?

“God, if you could make it your plan to smite [insert name here] I would really appreciate it. No rush though, I know you have certain things in place but like if you could rearrange a few things Thatd be great cause we both know that [insert name here] is not on the pathway to you so lets just speed up some things for all your other plans, yeah? It was great talking to you God, you’re absolutely wonderful. Thank you for listening. I know you’re busy.” 😂😂😂😂
Whats absolutely hilarious about this is every time I’ve actually done this, the person I’m talking about is suddenly no longer in my life and I have no idea what happens to them. 😂😂😂😂 even though its kinda a joke cause i never think God would change anything for me 😂

هو فعلا اللبس مبرر للتحرش!!!

mahmoud7oksh’s Profile PhotoMahmoud
Of course not, but there was a good joke about this from Dave Chappelle he said "The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!" Which is true, Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't even forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is fucking confusing. It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle, the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me saying, "Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!" "Oh-hoh! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!" See what I mean? All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform "

Do you laugh to a joke if you don't agree with what makes the joke funny?

I guess it depends what the joke is, the timing etc of it.
If I don't think a joke is funny or I'm not into it, then I'll like smile but won't laugh or acknowledge it ha

Jak myślisz czy każda kobieta powinna dążyć do zawarcia związku i założenia rodziny?

wyluzowaana’s Profile PhotoDziewczyna z Dobrym Sercem♀❥ ¥
What do you think, should every woman strive to enter into a relationship and start a family?
Of course yes, because every woman should have her own boyfriend.
It works on the principle: every female dog should have her master, not run wild without a leash loose like a stray dog 😊
It was a joke of course
Best regards and have a nice Wednesday.
Jeżeli kobieta chce czuć się spełniona, to powinna znaleźć swój ideał mężczyzny

How about another joke, Tea?

I'm going to tell you my favourite joke from when I was a kid, because I am feeling NOSTALGIC and also it was a corker.
Did you hear about the guy who drowned in a bowl of muesli? He got pulled under by a strong currant 🥁🥁🥁
BADUM TSCHHHH.
But for reals, 7 year old Tea loved that joke more than anything 😂

I said to a friend as a JOKE that I wanted a rainbow colored whisk(we were talking about rainbow washing during pride month) and he really bought it for me, I had it delivered to my doorstep. That goof. I should invite him for dinner and cook his fav meal using it as a ty. Ever got a novelty gift?

Oh you shoulddd! And then you should tell me all about it because I absolutely love things like that 🥺
Haha, I've had some lovely gifts like that. I'm always the friend who threatens to kill off anyone who annoys us, so my friend bought me a spade for Christmas 😂 another got me a king sized packet of plasters because I'm kinda a klutz, my best mate brought me a hard hat because I walked into a door - I love dumb presents like that 😂

I said to a friend as a JOKE that I wanted a rainbow colored whisk(we were talking about rainbow washing during pride month) and he really bought it for me, I had it delivered to my doorstep. That goof. I should invite him for dinner and cook his fav meal using it as a ty. Ever got a novelty gift?

Not gonna lie, that sounds awesome xD
I mainly just have novelty mugs and cups :) so like I think my last one is shaped like an octopus xD
I also have this Oddish planter :3
My boyfriend 3D printed it for me :)
I said to a friend as a JOKE that I wanted a rainbow colored whiskwe were

I said to a friend as a JOKE that I wanted a rainbow colored whisk(we were talking about rainbow washing during pride month) and he really bought it for me, I had it delivered to my doorstep. That goof. I should invite him for dinner and cook his fav meal using it as a ty. Ever got a novelty gift?

I was literally just talking with my daughter about making a "gay cake" for a trans family member of mine, they love rainbow & pride everything & would love a gay cake

*Vio chuckles slightly from the puns* "Nice, also you're Shadow's friend, of course I would help you out. He doesn't have many friends, and I'm guessing, being similar to him, you don't either... I'm happy to lend a hand."

Stoicviolet’s Profile PhotoVio
Being literal Death, you have to joke about it, right? *Reaper chuckles slightly* and..well.. I guess..we are pretty similar aren't we? *he then looks up towards the sky* I'm made up of literal darkness like he is..I dunno how much he told you..but it's true Death doesn't have many friends..I'm viewed as one of the most evil beings in our world.. and no matter what I say or do, nothing will change how everyone views death.. it isn't me who causes it but I still take the blame for it..
Liked by: Vio Shadow Geno

So, a bird tell me that you knew someone who makes your days even better, talk about him 😉

▪️I have always been a person who, with words, can be more open and explain my feelings better.
▪️I can say that I can be a little cold in showing my feelings in person.
The person I just met, I can do it more openly.
Of course I won't change with other people, but with him I am.
▪️Little things I didn't like very much, with him I do, like holding hands, kissing in public, even dancing.
(I still don't like to dance, but I'm in his arms, that's what matters.)
▪️I feel more comfortable with him, I only know him for a short time, but I have this feeling that I've known him for years, and that I can trust him.
▪️He makes me feel happy, I don't think that's the right word, it's something more than happy.
▪️He gives me a new glow, a new life. I have to thank him for that. It gave me a feeling that I deserve more than I had before.
▪️All the people I've ever met, there came a time after meeting them, when I got bored.
▪️Me with him, I'm not fed up, I just want more with him. I can't get enough of him.
▪️In terms of personality, he's more outgoing with everyone, I'm more introverted until I get to know the person.
Maybe I needed someone like him to change that in me.
Now if that will happen, I don't know. 😅
▪️He's super fun, I think my cause of death will be: Laughter 😂 Like the Sims 😅
I've always liked people with a sense of humor, but he can be 100 times more than me... It means I'll never have the last joke. 😅
▪️He agrees to make my ideas crazy. This is already a bonus. But I don't know if it's me or him who has the best ideas. 😅
▪️We have some (almost most of them) ideals in common, which is very good.
▪️Not forgetting that it seems like I've never been in love in my entire life.
I'm discovering it all over again, like a virgin. 😂
▪️New things I do now:
▫️Smiling at my phone while reading or replying (even my friends are fed up with it). 😅
▫️Being flushed whenever I pass him at work. 😊
❣️ I could write more but I think that’s enough for now. 🖤

View more

Dear my Crush: عقبال ما تحرقيلي الأكل بدل مانتي بتحرقِي ف دمي .

You may be just typing that as a joke 😅. But, you know what? I like toasted food such as toasted rice 🍚. I also like potatoes to be very toasted and thin. I’m very talented at making toasted potatoes 🥔 as well. My friends think that I have a bad taste, but it’s just happened to like food that way 😄.

What’s get you mad easily?🤔

AbeehaRaza32595’s Profile PhotoAbeeha Raza
do you'all ever think about how much we have capitalized our regular conversations too. if i were here mentioning 2,3 psychology buzzwords, some nerdy literature references, some thesaurus' big metaphors, a very cool description of an over hyped sport event, a joke about 2000's big screen play or some tricky food names like "chile en nogada", "bruschetta" just to look boujee or inserting a link to a bomb ass underrated musical video, I would be seen as someone so intellectual and really "classy" for the social paradigm we have created. BUT if i just chose to vent out my simple feelings in simple words or just simple life routine & keep all the things i do to myself, i would be seen as a waste. We are all becoming so materialistic.

In your opinion, do you think it sounds a bit rude to refer to someone by "old man"? One of my neighbors is old, he's in his 80s and most people in the neighborhood, including my parents, refer to him as "Old man Stillman". His last name is Stillman. I just call him Mr. Stillman.

Yes I think it is not only rude but demeaning and outright mean. It would be like calling a blind man named Willie who is missing one eye: "One Eyed Willie." Or referring to a man who is missing both his legs as: "Bobbie" (fishing joke) or a man with one eye as: "wood eye" or telling a man with a colostomy bag that he plays a mean "bag pipe."
This type of language is extremely offensive. I would suggest that anyone who talks like this to take a moment to imagine what it would be like to be disabled, old or disfigured in someway and try to walk in the shoes of the person you are insulting. One day we will all be old or disabled and those people who are inconsiderate and mean today might become the object of ridicule and condemnation in the future. Remember, what goes around comes around.

H Ελλάδα κέρδισε χθες στο Μπέλφαστ την Βόρειο Ιρλανδία. Κάτι καλό αρχίζει και χτίζεται. Πάμε γερά

😂😂Good joke άσε μας ρε φίλε με την εθνική Μυκόνου. Αν κατεβάσει την κ21 καλύτερα θα έπαιζαν. Δεν γίνεται να έχουμε ταλέντα να παίζουν για τις ομάδες τους 100% και όταν παίζουν για την εθνική να παίζουν με το ζόρι 30%

Jaki jest najpopularniejszy inside joke w jego fandomie? 😅

ryujinpl1’s Profile Photo류진 Shin Ryujin | ITZY Poland
Nie wiem czemu, ale pierwsze co mi przychodzi do głowy to ,,burrito". 😅 Ale to dotyczy też Josephine i Dylana.

Jaki jest najpopularniejszy inside joke w jej fandomie? 😅

ryujinpl1’s Profile Photo류진 Shin Ryujin | ITZY Poland
Jeśli chodzi o cały zespół, to jeden z takich sławniejszych to ten o mówieniu "Nie mam pieniędzy" i "Jestem głodna" po tajsku; Lisa nauczyła ich tych dwóch zwrotów i dziewczyny używały ich praktycznie zawsze i wszędzie 😅

Jaki jest najpopularniejszy inside joke w ich fandomie? 😅

ryujinpl1’s Profile Photo류진 Shin Ryujin | ITZY Poland
1."How did they get the salad in the box, if the box is sealed?" czyli iconic pytanie Perrie zza kulis XFactora.
2."Jade climbed Kilimanjaro", czyli fakt o którym trzeba przypominać raz na kilka miesięcy, sama Jade nie daje nikomu o tym zapomnieć.
3.Leigh-Anne i jej wiecznie zawieszające się wi-fi.
4."xyz unfollowed Jesy Nelson on instagram", czyli moment kiedy dosłownie każdy z otoczenia dziewczyn przestał obserwować Jesy na instagramie.
5."Blenders" jako prześmiewcza nazwa fandomu.
Te mi pierwsze przyszły na myśl 😄

Нравится творчество БИ-2 ?

"Полковнику никто не пишет. Полковника никто не ждёт" - этими двумя строчками исчерпываются мои знания о Би-2. Мне неизвестно даже, о чём именно эта песня. Я могу лишь раздувать как угольки, подброшенные в моё воображение образы.
Классика жанра самая простая и потому первой прорисовывается в деталях. Полковник воспользовался "крысиной тропой", которая привела его в Бразилию. Он начинает новую жизнь, обнаруживает у себя талант ювелира и открывает свою лавку, где плавит некогда собранные им золотые зубы и обручальные кольца, создавая из них искусные украшения. Пока однажды к нему не приходит молодая еврейка и не заказывает Звезду Давида.
В другом типичном сценарии полковник становится никому не нужен после того, как в буквальном смысле отдаёт часть себя войне, или ПТСР начинает затягивать его в бутылку. Но сюжет из таких клише будет слишком плоским, предсказуемым, местами и вовсе покажется хорошо знакомым, если не напустить в него тумана из постэффектов от BZ.
Гораздо глубже выйдет повествование про полковника, чей смысл жизни лишать жизни других по приказу и во имя. Правительство его награждает, а общество - клеймит. И собственные дети скорее собаку на него спустят, чем позволят ему переступить порог дома.
Или эта история про обратную сторону медали. Как отличавшемуся безукоризненной службой Джону Стеббинсу полученная за эпический героизм в Могадишо Серебряная звезда не мешала быть чудовищем для своей шестилетней дочери. Военный трибунал приговорил его к разжалованию, увольнению с позором, штрафу в размере $75000 и пожизненному заключению без права на условно-досрочное освобождение. Но герои всегда побеждают, и это правило работает не только в комиксах. Отсидев 18 лет, он вышел на свободу, и сегодня угрожает тем, кто обсуждает его в интернете: "Joke this, I am old and gray but still a better killer than you are", "if I ever find your IPS I will hunt you down and kill you". Ему никто не пишет, ведь большинство комментариев было оставлено несколько лет назад, а он отвечает на них лишь сейчас. И уж тем более никто не ждёт, что старый солдат - эта ржавая и скрипучая, однако всё ещё отлично работающая машина для убийств, заправленная ненавистью - как и обещал вдруг придёт за ними. Here's Johnny!
А вот само название группы склоняет к тематике в духе Domo Wilson - Bisexual Anthem, Delli Boe - Bisexual Problems или Mad Tsai - Boy Bi.

View more

Jaki jest najpopularniejszy inside joke w jego fandomie? 😅

ryujinpl1’s Profile Photo류진 Shin Ryujin | ITZY Poland
Powiem tak: na wyrażenie „Vitamin D” albo ewentualnie „y’all” większość fanów wie, że jest to z czymś związane 😆

Jaki jest najpopularniejszy inside joke w jego fandomie? 😅

ryujinpl1’s Profile Photo류진 Shin Ryujin | ITZY Poland
Nie wiem, czy najpopularniejszy, ale Deppheads mają alternatywną nazwę- Donuts (Pączki). Wzięło się to stąd, że iO Tillet Wright wszedł kiedyś w scysję z grupą Deppheads na Twitterze. Kiedy nie mógł wybrnąć z konwersacji, zaczął ich przezywać „donuts” myśląc, że będzie to da nich obraźliwe. Deppheads uznali jednak, że to urocze przezwisko i przyjęli je jako alternatywną nazwę fandomu.

Wie ist das mit einem Migrationshintergrund in Deutschland zu leben?

Ziemlich durchwachsen. Man merkt im Kindesalter schon eine Art der "Andersartigkeit". Sei es, weil auf Schlüsselanhängern mit Annas, Sarahs, Nicoles und Lisas nicht dein eigener Name vorkommt oder weil in der Grundschule Menschen über den ulkig klingenden Namen der Stadt lachen, aus dem deine Eltern ursprünglich sind. Ich hatte bis zum neunzehnten Lebensjahr die türkische Staatsbürgerschaft, weil das zu meiner Geburt so (mütterlicherseits) beschlossen wurde und oh boi, war es lustig (joke), sich ein Visum für den Englandausflug der achten Klasse zu holen und an der Grenze misstrauisch beäugt zu werden. Dann wiederum sieht man mir nicht zwingend an, dass ich einen Migrationshintergrund besitze und man wird von Menschen mit genau dem gleichen Hintergrund oft angegangen und ausgefragt, ob man denn auch "wirklich" Türkisch sprechen könne, weil man sogar noch einer größeren Minderheit der Lasen angehört und ebenfalls eine eigene Sprache besitzt.
Dann wiederum bin ich bilingual und es existiert eine eigene Art von Vertrautheit der Sprache und eine andere Form der Kultur, die Raum für Vielfältigkeit erlaubt. Es ist jedoch oft schwierig, zwischen zwei verschiedenen "Welten" zu stehen, was häufig Schwierigkeiten in der eigenen Identität heraufbeschwört, sodass man sich oft wünscht, entweder nur der eine oder andere Teil zu sein. Jedoch spreche ich da nur aus meinen eigenen Erfahrungen.

View more

Do you think that this new wave of people supposedly being “positive” , “woke”, “spiritual” or whatever tf they wanna call it — is a big joke?! Because I do! People are full of shit!

I would encourage you to reevaluate your assessment - many people have been positive and / or spiritual long before you and I were conceived. "Woke" is a relatively new phenomenon among those who are asleep and unwilling / unable to rise from their intellectual and bigoted slumber.
Do you think that this new wave of people supposedly being positive  woke

Do you think that this new wave of people supposedly being “positive” , “woke”, “spiritual” or whatever tf they wanna call it — is a big joke?! Because I do! People are full of shit!

I don't believe it's a 'big joke' as I'm someone that has been exploring my spirituality for seven years now. Maybe you are too asleep to realize how everything really is, and how amazing your life could be if you dived deeper into spiritual knowledge. Have a great night.

Which team are you on Amber Heard Or Johnny Depp?

kandykills’s Profile PhotoKandyKills
the fact that so many people are referring the trial to "team amber" or "team johnny" is sickening, imo. these are real life people -- not fictional characters in a love triangle. this is a case of domestic violence, and it's gross how people are turning it into some sort of joke or spectacle to glorify.

Are you a funny person?

klonetron’s Profile PhotoHalbery Jones
Yeah, I think I am, though it depends on the people I'm with. In certain group dynamics I naturally joke around very often if the mood is set up like that and my humor is always bubbling on the surface of certain dialogues. Guess I am the clown in the group after all. I am fully extroverted with the right persons and tend to make others laugh without intending to.

Language: English