#joke

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Tell me a funny moment from one of your group study sessions.

gawnferal’s Profile Photohudیٰ
After wasting the entire semester and literally assuming that the other person has taken care of our DLD’s project. My friend and I sat together a night before its submission to prepare a presentation. Anyways, presentation toh bhool gae cuz jab project banaya hi nahi kisi ny toh presentation kya apni detay jaa kar. So we just randomly created some circuits with LEDs etc and it obviously didn’t work cuz we had absolutely no clue what hell we were doing. It started as a joke k yaar project girra dain gay aur bolain gay k shayad girnay ki waja sy nahi chal raha. Phir socha k un k samnay giratay hain takeh unhay yakeen aye. Then a big brian moment happened, aur hum dono is idea ko le kar serious ho gae :))
Phir hum ny planning ki k I will be the one who is gonna fall with the project aur jo mera dost hai wo mujh sy agay lab mai chalay ga aur rastay mai chair kar dega cuz there was a this part of floor that had a couple of broken tiles jis mai pair stuck ho jata tha if you’re not walking properly. Toh plan ye tha k mainay side pe instructors ki taraf dekhtay huay apna pair phassana hai aur chair mai lag kar gir jana hai.
Next day, we did exactly the same thing as we had rehearsed the night before, dost ny rastay mai chair bhi rakh di aur mainay instructors ki taraf dekhtay huay entry maar li. Instructors ny mazak mai bola mujhay k haan bhai nikamo project chala ya nahi? Aur ma ye boltay huay k “sir jee aj ap khushi sy treat dain gay itna fit chala hai” neechay gir gaya.
Mera dost project ki taraf bhaga aur instructors meri taraf. Bhai ko realtime aamad hui aur mainay bolna shuru kar diya k shayad baazu toot gaya hai cuz it hurts too much. Instructors saray meray baazu ki movement karanay mai lag gae aur mera dost project utha kar konay mai sarr pakar kar beth gaya.
We got B+ grade in the Lab 😌😌

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صباح الورد 🌷🌺 space ☁️°•

yazanzzzz’s Profile Photoʏᴀᴢᴀɴ|93
For the final month of Ask.fm, I’ll go back to my roots—bringing back my classic joke page style.
This is how I’ll say goodbye to Ask: by doing what I do best—posting memes and nonsense.
@askfm_it @ASKfm_eng @askfm
Amico mio ne abbiamo passate 🖤
Per l ultimo mese tornerò ad essere la vecchia Barzellettexridere, voglio lasciarti così

What's your got-to line to rizz someone up?

zaidwali915’s Profile PhotoZaid Wali
I find pick up lines completely ineffective. They only impress cringe boys.
What I do is: In real life, I wear surma and my favourite red lipstick, then I look at them with my head tilted, a small smile, and ask them a question or to do me tiny favour.
Online, it depends on the person, but I just roast them then act soft, tell them a little joke or story. If they become flirtatious, THEN I bring out my lines (which I make on the spot).

Smile every day.. as a daily reminder that your life is still a joke :)

How many times I've named him in my duas how many times Allah heard his name.
How many tears my eyes have cried for him
He was My Tahajud dua, my dua in rain, my dua after my first Look at Kabah, my dua during the last hour of Friday, my dua when I fed an animal, my dua when someone said May Allah fulfil your wishes, my dua when I break my fast.
He was the only person added with me anywhere, but I was any other for him.

Can you make real money on here?

bridgetscroggins3’s Profile PhotoBridget Scroggins
Every now & then men reach me to offer money in exchange of pictures or videos here. They don’t have enough money for one of my feet that way. No matter it’s a scam or joke. I give that kind of photos to drawers or painters with a sybarite & weird taste for arts’ sake. If it can bring me real joy.
Can you make real money on here

are you hopeless romantic?

Romance you see and know is for satan, so it feels cheesy. At some age you see IT TOTAL CRINGE.
Romance with your halal partner is all different.
No dirty talks,
No cheesy comments,
No stupid touching,
No need of billion dollar gifs,
Just a single stare full of love,
Some kind words,
A funny pickup line,
Or a joke,
Can be more romantic then anything else.
Halal ones may sound hopless but its purity of life.
Hopeless romance is the real romance.

What kind of jokes make you roll your eyes? 🤠

M1ssSemy’s Profile PhotoStar. i
It is funny that just today you are asking about jokes 😅 ( btw I dont know, I did not hear good joke for longer time 🤷‍♀️), but today when I saw 2 Jehovaists to stay on the corner of our street one old joke came into my mind:
- knock knock
- who is there?
- Jehovaists
- what do you want ?
- just to talk
- how many people are you there ?
- two
- so talk to each other !
😂😂😂

Girls who would be the most attractive? A boy who can sing beautiful, a boy who can write poetry, or a boy that earns a lot 👀

A boy can either write or recite poetry well. Phir shayari karke mujhse flirt kare, hayee. 😭
And someone I can joke around with. I like playful banter too. Comfort is soo sooo important. If I am comfortable, I am 100% attracted. Someone who talks to me about his work, and I talk to him about my books.
And it's fine even when we don't talk, we can enjoy each others presence. Someone around whom, I feel peaceful, and I make him peaceful as well, of course. Bas. Yehi matter karta hai.

Lubisz słuchać kropli deszczu rozbijających się o parapet?

askyoutonight_’s Profile PhotoPytania dla ciebie.....
Jest mi to dość ambiwalentne, chociaż ten dźwięk kojarzy mi się nierozłącznie z czasami licealnymi i taką właśnie sytuacją, gdy w zimny jesienny poranek, spędzany, jak to zwykle wówczas, na lekcji polskiego, omawialiśmy poezję młodopolską i akurat w akompaniamencie takich właśnie kropli deszczu uderzających o parapet, trafił się wiersz "Deszcz jesienny" Leopolda Staffa. Pamiętam, że atmosfera była wówczas strasznie senna i przygnębiająca, a czytanie wiersza o tym wcale nie poprawiało tego nastroju (abstrahując od tego, że to naprawdę dobrze napisany wiersz). Pamiętam, że szczególnie irytował on moją ówczesną przyjaciółkę, towarzyszkę ze szkolnej ławki (kolejną z osób, których nie ma już w moim życiu), a ja potem często, gdy za oknem padał deszcz, zaczynałem jej recytować początek i był to taki nasz inside joke. Daję link, bo oczywiście nie mieści się cały: https://literat.ug.edu.pl/staff/013.htm

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Why is the nhs so useless? Can't even get any appointment nowadays, no dentist, no doctors appointments,it's been like that for years, what is going on? And yet they aren't to slow at giving covid boosters to everyone. It's a joke

I don’t think they are useless at all. They have saved my daughter’s life and continue to look after her.
However the NHS is underfunded, blame the government! Point your fingers at them, not the NHS staff who literally give their life to save others every day.

Why is the nhs so useless? Can't even get any appointment nowadays, no dentist, no doctors appointments,it's been like that for years, what is going on? And yet they aren't to slow at giving covid boosters to everyone. It's a joke

It's almost like the tories deliberately underfunded the NHS for a decade to try to run it into the ground so they could privatise healthcare instead

Why is the nhs so useless? Can't even get any appointment nowadays, no dentist, no doctors appointments,it's been like that for years, what is going on? And yet they aren't to slow at giving covid boosters to everyone. It's a joke

I can get appointments I'm just annoyed that you can't ask more than one thing at a time and that you have to wait months to here from the breast clinic and the Gyno 😫

Mustafa jesa dil aur Adeel jitna paisa (take it as a joke pliss😭🙏🏻)

MaheenAaftab’s Profile Photo~Maheen
Aap larkiyon ki isi mentality ki wja se larkay aap larkiyon ko use krty hain
Nahi to experiment krlen randomly hum kisi larky ko kehty hain 50 UN larkiyon ko Nikah ka proposal do jo believe krti hain kay bs Nikah ka koi kahy aur hum foran shadi kren
Yaqeen kren ye 50 me se 49 Nikah ky waqt bhaag jain gi ;)
Inky answers Inki haqeeqat Nikah se shuru hogi aur Munafqat kay Aalaa darjay pr khtm hogi.
Nikah ka final bhi ho jaye to kisi ki Ami Abu Khala phupo ya kisi ki graduation beech me aa jaye gi
Kiyun kay 96% larkiyan Talaab me Behtar se Behtar Machli talaash krti hain
Aik behtar aye pichla farig, Agla us se behtar pichla farig.

Tell me a poem from your mind

samirmslmani’s Profile PhotoM.Samir ♥️♐️ مُحَمَّد سَمير
Twenty-six
That’s how many times a day
I want to scream at you
How many times I want to cry
How many times I wish
You were here to laugh with me
It’s how many times I wish
I understood your decision
And it’s how many times
That I do understand
Twenty-six
That’s how many times a day
I feel like the black pit inside
The swirling, endless, ravenous hole
Anger and hate, raw and ugly
Will pull me in, pull me under
Drown me in my empathy
I don’t want to be mad at you anymore
But I still am
Twenty-six
That’s how many times a day
I want to share a joke or a smile
I want to share the light-hearted
And then I fall, crumble, I’m crushed
Beneath the landslide of reality
It hits me all over again
A boxing match I can’t win
No matter how hard I rally
Twenty-six
That’s how many times a day
My lips tremble at the thought of you
How many times my eyes
Emotional traitors
Want to leak to relieve the pressure
That pushes in my head
That constricts my throat
That grips my heart
Twenty-six
That’s how many times a day
That I want to join you
Follow you, like I always used to
The younger of us but wise beyond years
I wonder if you knew
Where you were leaping to
Or was it just that this world
Didn’t deserve such an amazing creature
Twenty-six
That’s how many times a day
I want to call you, hear you
See you, touch you, hold you
I’d be happy for you to yell at me
Call me stupid, be disappointed
Cuss me out, slap me, punch me
Clare at me, swear at me, something
Anything, because that would mean
You’d still be here with me
Twenty-six
You would have been twenty-six today

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What could be the reason(s) as to why I have a hard time making out the words in a movie when I’m at the movie theaters even tho I never needed hearing aids? I hear fine when people talk to me one on one but sometimes have a hard time hearing what people say in other cases.

Get your ears checked ASAP! No joke, you can save your hearing if it's something serious.. When I was younger I had the similar situation going on and didn't know why .. Went to an ENT, (ears, nose, throat, specialist) they looked in my nose, ears, and throat respectively. They also had me do a hearing test to see what I could and couldn't hear. They found out I had too much sinus pressure and it was causing damage to my ears, gave me nasonex for a few weeks and all was well! This could be a sign of something serious and is a warning from your body, be sure not to shrug it off and get help while it'll help!

(cont) *And kicks backwards off the ground levitating away from the kid anticipating their big bang*

forgottenfifth’s Profile PhotoShadow
OT Frisk: Wait..why can't I drop this!? AAAAH!!! DID YOU SUPER GLUE A BOMB TO MY HANDS!? What is THI-*and the bomb explodes just before they could finish that sentence, OuterTale Frisk is honestly a joke compared to other Frisks, they have a whole route dedicated to flirting XD the flirt ending is real in OuterTale, even if the bomb kiIIs the kid, they can always reset or load their save file, it's basically time manipulation powers to anyone outside the Underverse*

How did Nugget's concept come into fruition? Because she's one of the greatest creations ever made.

LOL nugget is the manifestation of my single braincell.
she's my brain when it doesnt want to compute.
i always really like chickens and find them cute. i also feel nugget is the stupidest name u could ever give an oc so i just literally made her as a joke character lololol
as a way to get away from edgelord stuff once in awhile but didnt think she would develop the way she did xD

I don't like girls talking vulgar but i don't criticize myself when i talk vulgar in flow with friends. How big hypocrite i am? I don't like myself at all

Relax, dont be hard on yourself.
You dont hate talking vulgar its the company you believe is appropriate for vulgar chats..
I do not talk dirty to anything you can identify as a male or stranger.
-my rule for males is they can be funny around me, i like being jolly but the jokes must only be the ones they can share with their sisters too.
Also i dont like talking dirty everyday, on everything. I find it cheap.
But yes at times, once in a blue moon in my selective circle i do joke dirty. I do it around my homies, people i am sure wont judge me.
Its not hypocracy. Its maturity.

Do you like watching old movies, listening to music or reading books that came out around 2013 and if so, what are some that were your favorites and do you still do things that were common back then but aren’t as common now?

I prefer older movies to the new ones, at least they had a sense of humour and threw in a joke or two every now and again 👍
Now, most movies seem to serve as some sort of political endorsement 🙄
Do you like watching old movies listening to music or reading books that came
Liked by: Smile Kathy yeet yeet

Can someone stay obsessed with someone for three years?

iamnothing24433’s Profile Photoeefrahh.
Do you want to know the fun thing about obssession?
It can extend to a life time.
Obsession starts with secret liking, something you feel but dont share for any reason.
Lets say obssession is like a drop of water, each moment you see that person from a distant and keep yoyr feelings to yourself, it adds to your obsession tank.
Now days pass, years pass, and those tiny droplets turn into a massive water storage, ready to burst any moment,
This is when people do stupid things, we see everyday, i clearly remember a girl being beaten up in public, yet begging to be with him. It wasnt plesant to see.
I cou clearly see her obession made her blind that an ordinary guy, like 7 billion others was now center of her life.
So, if you like someone, head straight, spit it out, on serious notes, (society itself consider its a joke) you can get to know him from closer and you'll know without commitments that this person you called your 3 years old obssession is just like all those ordinary guys that passes you every day.
Its better to not fall for this trick of satan, better stop yourself, when you give your hold to someone other than your LORD, it ruins you. And your peace.
hard to understand, but it can save you.

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What role do you play in your friend group? Are you the sensible one, cleaning up everyone's childish messes? The political one, always scheming? The energetic one, jumping into everything without a clue? Or are you the one sitting there like, "What the heck is going on?"

MMaryamKhan’s Profile PhotoMaryam Khan
The mr knows it all with they come up to me when need any sugestions.. specificaly falsafa or islamic jurisprudence... And books and spiritual expects of any thing .... When they are confused... They can take me any where at 3 am or 5 am for nashta or any thing... Once they took me striaght to hunza and skardu via naran kaghan from office k sadar sy shoping krny jana hai....i m the comedian when in group of friendz and therapist in 1 to 1 meetings....i m who never minds any kind of joke and come back with the greater one and i m the who is there to took all the ilzam when any of then fighting with the other

Ba'al, why do you like mikhail as a woman so much?

Baal: Oh, that was always a joke. I would never do anything strange regardless.
Mikhail: So, right now if I turned into a woman because I can, i have the power to, you would not do anything?
Baal: That's correct.
Mikhaila: -I snap my fingers and transforms into female-
Ok, I trust you.
Baal: -My eyes bulge out when I see him become a female right before my eyes- WE CAN DO THAT?
.____. THERE'S NO WAY! I thought only Lilith could do that because of biology manipulation!
Mikhaila: Oh please! Most demons can do it. We are demons slash fallen angels. At our very core we are in fact genderless entities. Our real forms, ''biblically accurate'' we can bend the rules of our own make up. We aren't tied like mortal entities, because we aren't mortal to begin with.
Baal: C-could I feel you?
Mikhaila: Go ahead, Baal.
Baal: Please do not turn back into a man while I do this.
Mikhaila: I can't. I have to stay the entire day like this till tomorrow. I am limited, it isn't like before where I could just freely switch whenever. -I sigh-
Baal: Alright >->; -I place my hands across your body because I don't believe you are female, until I feel your bre asts- WOW.... THEY'RE REAL!
Mikhaila: No silicone >:3
Baal:-I keep touching and feel her waist. My hands go all the way down-......... Just a ''what if'' What if you ended up pregnant?
Mikhaila: >_> That's a weird question but to answer, I would be forced to carry that child until it's born. Only then I would return to being a guy and that doesn't sound like a good experience.
Baal: Ohhh e_e
Mikhaila: I'm going to hit you if you get any weird ideas. I know how you are, Baal.
Baal: No! I was asking because it would be a BAD case scenario for YOU to be like this around so many rutting males. Your scent is so...
Mikhaila: So what?
Baal: Idk, like this your scent is sweet and hypnotizing. As a guy you had a very uninvited aura to you. As a woman is like drawing in.
Mikhaila: Heh! -I flip my hair- Of course. I'M GORGEOUS!
Baal: Well, you'll have to... kinda hide now. Don't let anyone see you like this. -I look at her 4ss-..... Christ almighty. All the things I would do to you.
Mikhaila: -Slaps him and walks away-
Baal: u_u Ok, well, I deserved that.

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Share any old ♻️ movie, posts, song, joke, poem, meme, quote, memory (shortstory), etc.

akciMMicka’s Profile Photo⚜️ m o n i c a ⚜️
ɴᴏᴡ, ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴇᴀʀᴄʜɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛ
ɪɴ ᴀ ᴄɪᴛʏ ᴏꜰ ʀᴜꜱᴛ
ᴀ ᴄɪᴛʏ ᴏꜰ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇꜱ
ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ, ᴇʟᴠɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ'ꜱ ꜱᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ
ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀ ꜱᴀᴛɪʀᴇ
ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀ ɢʜᴏꜱᴛ ᴛᴏᴡɴ
— Adam Lambert | Ghost Town
Share any old  movie posts song joke poem meme quote memory shortstory etc

Share any old ♻️ movie, posts, song, joke, poem, meme, quote, memory (shortstory), etc.

akciMMicka’s Profile Photo⚜️ m o n i c a ⚜️
It is beautiful how we sometimes keep remembering someone in our duas and wishing Allah to protect them or remove harm from them, even though we have never talked or are close in any way. We just make dua cause we know only he can accept it. May Allah grant us people who will make dua for us until the end of our times and even after we are long gone under the ground. 🌻✨️♡.

What’re the little things that make you happy and enjoy life more?

umarawwan’s Profile PhotoUMAR
Finding joy in the little things can make life feel richer and more fulfilling. Here are some small pleasures that many people find bring happiness:
A Warm Cup of Coffee or Tea: The simple comfort of a well-made drink can be a moment of peace in a busy day.
Freshly Baked Goods: The smell and taste of something freshly baked, whether it’s bread, cookies, or pastries, can be incredibly satisfying.
Sunshine and Fresh Air: Spending time outdoors and enjoying the sunshine, even if just for a short walk, can boost your mood.
Good Music: Listening to your favorite tunes or discovering new music can lift your spirits.
Reading a Book: Losing yourself in a good book can be a great escape and a source of pleasure.
Acts of Kindness: Doing something nice for someone else, or experiencing kindness, can be deeply rewarding.
A Cozy Blanket: Snuggling up under a soft, warm blanket can be the perfect end to a long day.
Beautiful Scenery: Enjoying a beautiful view, whether it’s a sunset, a garden, or a scenic drive, can be very uplifting.
Spending Time with Loved Ones: Moments with family and friends, whether it’s a chat, a meal, or a shared activity, often bring joy.
Creative Hobbies: Engaging in creative activities like drawing, knitting, or playing an instrument can be fulfilling and relaxing.
Pet Cuddles: Spending time with pets and enjoying their unconditional affection can be incredibly comforting.
A Well-Organized Space: The satisfaction of a tidy and organized home or workspace can bring a sense of accomplishment.
Laughing: Finding humor in everyday situations or enjoying a good joke or comedy can be a great way to lift your mood.
Gardening: Tending to plants and watching them grow can be a peaceful and rewarding experience.
Mindfulness Moments: Practicing mindfulness or meditation can help you appreciate the present moment and find calmness.
Incorporating these small pleasures into your daily life can help cultivate a sense of happiness and contentment.

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Ever been terrified of anything

Something anonymous just said that i actually think and that is a lot of people on this app are on the spectrum. One person for months refused to block Jens daughter and a few others just don't act very smart, how can the one person be trilingual learning Spanish off an app, you don't have the accent so when you go to Spanish countries or territories they probably think you're a joke American trying to speak their language. Germans get a laugh from foreigners trying to speak German especially when most shop owners there speak English so they come out and say "Speak English" and make tourists look foolish
Liked by: Happy Clown ON Punk

What was cool when you were younger but isn't cool now? 😇

redoasis2017’s Profile Photo★ ☮ ♫ ᵀᵉⁿᵃᶜⁱᵒᵘˢ ᵀᵒᵐᵐᵃʸ™ ▩ ♚ ☻
Parody movies. They were funny and cool. In 2024, people would just "cancel" this and "cancel" that. People don't know how to take a joke and have a laugh about a sh.itt.y parody movie. Wish there were more movies like that, and that they still made those.
Vampires suck, Naked gun, the starving games, scary movie, hot shots! . AND MANY MORE.
I think I know what I'll watch when I'll have time.

My parents forced me into a nikah(3 saal back)and i didnt want to have it. They Tortured me made me cry and it caused so much hatred for the man in my heart. I hate him and i cant stand the thought of him touching me evr. I loved and still love smn else and i want to marry hm. Wshld i do pls helpp

Sharam kro ab sb sy phly or send himmat paida krty hai qabool hai kehny sy phly or kisi tesry ki life ko joke bana deny sy phly us ki self esteem ki dhajiya ura deny sy phly

Do you think you owe an apology to someone? What prevented you from saying that to him?

jus57694’s Profile Photo"AI" NotFoundError
I owed a relative of mine an apology after I hurt her feelings yesterday. She made a joke that I didn’t find funny so I kept complaining about it and she got upset but she still went to the gym to workout with me regardless. I was told (by my dad) to not mention what happened between us again but I couldn’t hold myself back and mentioned it again to apologize for the way I acted/treated her. Nothing prevented me from apologizing and apologizing came naturally to me, as it usually does.

Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? 😇

redoasis2017’s Profile Photo★ ☮ ♫ ᵀᵉⁿᵃᶜⁱᵒᵘˢ ᵀᵒᵐᵐᵃʸ™ ▩ ♚ ☻
The people I’ve found that I compare myself most to, is extroverts or people with larger than life personalities. I guess because I’m the opposite of that, and always have been, I’ve struggled with feeling like I’m not that interesting or fun to be with, in comparison to them. Or that they will always be the ideal person others choose to befriend/hang out with because of how fun they do tend to be.
Now, of course, I’m not saying introverts can’t be fun/funny, or interesting, there are plenty that are. It’s just been a personal insecurity for me. I think largely because I’m quite a serious person and don’t feel like I’m all that witty or humorous, that I’ve felt like maybe people feel they can’t joke with me or that they can’t let loose in the same way they may with others. 😅
And I mean, how true is that? I would say not at all. Especially not in regards to the people I surround myself with now. No one has ever made mention of it, at least, and I don’t get the impression anyone feels that way about me. ☺️ But comparison is something I try really hard not to do too much of nowadays. I can only be myself after all, right? So why not embrace that person? 🤷🏼‍♀️😁

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Who do you sometimes compare yourself to

Thoughts on a commentator in the Olympics getting fired for making a joke about a woman's team wearing makeup?

That's not quite what happened though, he got fired for making a misogynistic joke when officially commentating on a women's team at an Olympic event, it was entirely inappropriate for that forum. If he wants to make those kind of jokes he would be better suited to some dingy stand up club or a career on YouTube.

Language: English