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30 posts


Is it normal after going through trauma to find it hard to communicate with other people?

meggiemera’s Profile PhotoMeggie Mera
Yes. You'll be triggered by how certain people act, talk, think, etc. Not because of them, but because you never properly dealt with the emotions that gave you such trauma. We do our best to forget everything that happened, but then there comes a time where we just have to let it out. I mentioned this in my previous answer (timely that I get this shoutout as it's a good reflection of my current mind), but I had to release a lot of old emotions yesterday. It felt painful, it felt hard, it felt like I wanted to die, but it felt soooo good. It was as if my body was finally giving me what I had wanted, and once I released it, I felt good enough to keep going.
For me, I never had any physical trauma (thankfully). It was moreso mental trauma. Trauma from my parents' failed marriage, not feeling like I fit in with my classmates, not feeling like I was ever that good (I never had the best grades in school until college), and all of that dark sh*t was just suppressed in my body for years, and years, and years. I never dealt with it because I was scared of what was gonna happen.
Now, I feel better, and feel more comfortable moving forward - knowing I can properly deal with a negative emotion again.

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How do you stop feeling bad about yourself, and how do we get over our own mistakes and stop letting them make us feel worse?

illin_ahmed’s Profile Photo♡*:.。.ILLIN(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡
Forgetting what happened yesterday and moving on to the new day that you live presents. The things that you did yesterday do not matter anymore when the next morning begin. Focus on being a better person every single day and always remember that everyone makes mistakes. Nobody can be perfect. Always remember your upper faith and always understand that you will be forgiven no matter what. Remember who you are. Don't let others Define who you are. Don't let people judge you remember to focus on yourself and do your best at things and that's all you can do. Do not hate yourself forever for something. People think that you have to only learn how to forgive others but you have to first know how to forgive yourself. It's just like having respect for others. How can you have respect for someone else if you have no self-respect? Respect yourself forgive yourself move on be better for the next day

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How are graduations usually held where you live? There any specific ceremonies and celebrations afterwards? If you've graduated yourself, how'd you describe how that day was for you? 🎓

TobbeAsks’s Profile Photoᛏᛟᛒᛒᚨ
Normally there's a 2-ish hour ceremony, with over half of it being spent calling people by rows, and then they walk across the stage, take a picture, then sit back down. I personally find them boring lol. I feel it's no different than getting your stuff in the mail, and moving on with life. I remember the day I graduated high school, and all I cared about was the NBA Draft that was on the same night lol. That shows you how much I cared about high school.

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In a life or death situation how you deal with it between 0 to 100 how calm can you be?

75 if I was caught in a fast moving wildfire. That’s the only thing that spooks me now. You can’t outrun a wildfire and you can’t out drive it either living in a mountain pass with limited access roads.
-10 for everything else. I should have drowned twice after being caught in ocean undertows. I was in two bad car accidents as a passenger and I was told I should have died in both. Then I had a bad fall rock climbing where I broke practically every bone I have because my climbing partner was more interested in checking his phone when he should have been concentrating on belaying me properly. Ironically the phone that almost killed me also saved my life as it was used to call in an air ambulance. Go figure.

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Is it greedy to remind someone to send you money that they owe you?

KeepYourEyesPeeled’s Profile PhotoLucas
Not really, no. If someone owes you money it's only right to remind them to pay you. However, given how some of these situations go, you might be better off moving on - since some people won't pay you back no matter what. Personally speaking, if someone owed me - let's say $50, and hadn't payed me in years, I'd likely not even care at that point. If one is truly abundant and wealthy, one would know that they can get that $50 back, and more.

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what do you think of parents that guilt trip their children when moving out even they are now already over 30 or 40, and parents who meddle with the lovelife of kids kahit lagpas na sa kalendaryo edad

What you allow will continue. 30 and 40 years old and you still allow people to treat you like a child? Then that treatment will continue. Parents will always view you as a baby, and unless you remind them some will feel they have the right to say anything to you. It's time to either tell them it's not acceptable and you won't allow it, or accept it as a part of your life. And if you did move out, you have so much control over the communication you have with your parents. Limit it if they can't talk to you like you're an adult. This is all up to you. Stop being the child they think you are.

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What has been the scariest experience in your life ma'am ✨

alexjhon2’s Profile PhotoAwais•
I was in 10th class and was sitting on front benches in my classroom with my bestie. Mam was teaching us Trigonometry (chapter of Maths). Suddenly I felt something crawling on my dress.
Within a minute or two I started jumping and moving it away from my clothes. Meanwhile I was shouting too and literally was acting clumsy.
Whole class was shocked and watching me with Questions in their mind.
"Khadija what happened?"
"Their is a cockroach on my dress 😢💔"
At that moment whole class felt relieve of atleast 5 minutes from that Boring Trigonometry and my heartbeat reached 7th sky after I felt that cockroach on me 😂😂 (now m not afraid of cockroaches anymore)

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What has been the scariest experience in your life maam

How can we change the way we view loss so it does not seem so devastating?

I suppose we should believe that loss has to happen for new things and many reasons to move in..that is called moving forward.. if you hang on to the past your never mature and expand your life into maturity. i used to say yippy skippy the past is gone! " so the new better enhanced experiences can replace the past..it is the hanging on that hits you so just accept the new adventures with gratitude that you are growing into a new person and the quicker you accept the new times, the less issues you will have:)"

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To love or to be loved?

Love must always be reciprocal.
If one person in the relationship is not as committed to the same level of love as the other person is, it will never work. I have firsthand experience with that sadly.
You cannot ascertain the other person’s level of devotion to you by what they say. You must be able to keenly judge their actions. There are too many selfish people in this world that say one thing and do the absolute opposite.
Love must be reciprocated. It must grow evenly always moving forward in a positive manner. The only way that can happen is through very open lines of discussion.
Never be afraid to open your heart fully to the person you love. Only through honesty and open communication can love continue to grow for both people.
(I love deep questions night. 😊)

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Things to do After Rejection? 👀

usman1216’s Profile PhotoM U F F I N
🌷 Sit in the corner and cry, then get up again and try.
I don't know what kind of rejection you were referring to. But I mean don't give up, just look for other alternatives / opportunities. Depends on the situation but it could be like.... apply to another company for a job, find other people to be friends with, reflect to better yourself if needed be, don't stop believing in yourself and keep moving forward.

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What is the most boring job you can imagine?

"Brand ambassador" was a seasonal job where I was hired to go stand in certain stores at certain times wearing a polo shirt of the brand I was representing. My job was to stand there, smile at people, and chat with them about Brand X's products if they approached me (they were very clear that this was not a sales job and that I must not be aggressive in any way, which was A-OK with me). So, basically, I stood in a store for hours waiting for someone to approach me and say, "Hey, tell me more about Brand X!" So, as you can imagine, I really just stood around for hours talking to nobody. The one good bit was that they told us to read our product info binder when we were quiet. I'm friends with writers, so I told them to e-mail me their stuff they wanted feedback on. Then I printed out a few chapters at a time, hole-punched them, and popped them in my binder. I ended up reading like two whole novels that Christmas season while I stood in the store aisles. I interned for an IT department of a pretty big company for two summers. I mostly helped my boss with his work, but some days he had to travel to other offices around the state, and he would leave me in the main office as tech support for the employees. Few people ever had problems, so I just sat alone in the office by myself, far away from all the other employees all day. I mastered all the games on Windows. Minesweeper, Hearts, Solitaire, you name it.
Bagging groceries. My store managers would be extremely tougher on us baggers for some reason. During downtime, they'd have us do other misc tasks like restock paper and plastic bags even though it didn't need to be done. If we were to even lean forward against the belt when nobody was around we'd get yelled at to stand up perfectly straight and after 5+ hrs of that our feet would hurt.
I was 14 and got a job at a ski resort in town. My job was to sit in a booth at the top of the ski hill lift line. If someone fell off the lift I would press a button to stop the ski lift.
All day spent watching skiers come up the hill making sure they didn't fall. The resort used old style "Poma" lifts. If you Google it I'm sure you'll see what I mean. I did have a radio to listen to though. It was a long day.
I worked in a factory for two summers after high school. The first summer wasn't bad because I had to keep moving between machines. The second summer I was placed on one machine and my job was to put trays on a conveyor belt for 10 hours a day. I would grab a stack, place it sideways on the table beside me, then using my left hand pull a tray from the stack and place it on the belt.

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Is it bad to talk things out? I hope my friend would be honest and tell me how they feel about my actions so I avoid it. I've been told to not change myself for them. But I don't think it's bad, it's actually good that I know what to do/say at times

illin_ahmed’s Profile Photo♡*:.。.ILLIN(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡
🌷 No. In my opinion, it's good to talk things out.
Friendship can get a little complicated when we don't know our boundaries. Maybe, they're just concern how would you react if they tell you how they feel about your actions.
They're right, you shouldn't change yourself for anyone but yourself. Because conforming yourself to be someone just to appease other people is not a good foundation to begin with, especially when it comes to making a better version of yourself. People come and go in our lives. What happens then when they're not in your life anymore? It could be for any reason - death, growing apart, moving places, change of lifestyle (life can get busy when people start their own family). You may feel resentment that you did all those change and then they're gone or not around as much.
I reckon you should take the initiative to assure them that you won't feel bad if they will be honest and frank with you. But sometimes, we should be attentive too, observe and learn through our friend's reactions, what's acceptable and not acceptable for them. It's all about respect too.

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Будет ли считаться предательством памяти и любви по отношению к умершему любимому человеку новый роман/брак спустя какое-то время?

:) Поговаривают, что в некоторых местах Индии до сих пор ритуал Сати практикуют.
И Таиланд, вроде как, отличился.
Наверняка, и на остальных клочках суши найдётся что-то... Эдакое.
Но, у нас, по местному, всё чуть в другую сторону в этом плане: о безвременно почивших скорбят, оставляя за собой право на ценность собственной жизни. Если эту ценность не покоробило и сформировались соответствующие условия, то moving on is a must.
К тому же, человек, переживший утрату, как никто иной ощущает скоротечность жизни. Так пусть новые чувства её скрасят.

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Будет ли считаться предательством памяти и любви по отношению к умершему

Would you rather live in a city or countryside?

BradJones427’s Profile PhotoBrad
There are days when I catch myself daydreaming about packing my things and moving to a big city, there is definitely something alluring about the hustle and bustle... But at the end of the day, I grew up around the countryside, and it only feels right that I should continue to live in the countryside.
I am better suited to the peace and quiet that countryside living allows and I have always felt at peace surrounded by nature.

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Would you rather live in a city or countryside

What one thing can we learn from other cultures?

notsobia’s Profile PhotoSo.be
Oh lots of things:
1. No littering
2. Children moving out or at least being responsible for themselves at 18.
3. No messing in each others business
4. Opinions being opinions and not a matter of life and death
5. No such thing as saving money for children, enjoy your hard earned money after you have made sure your children can take care of themselves

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↳ WUNSCH; Was ist dein Wunsch zurzeit?

JustAskUsx’s Profile Photojust ask us
Ganz ehrlich? Alles auf einmal. Aber ich versuche das, was gerade passiert, in vollen Zügen zu genießen und freue mich endlich auf das, was noch kommen wird.
"I'm leaving home for the coastline, some place under the sun.
I feel my heart for the first time, cause now I'm moving on.
And there's a place that I've dreamed of, where I can free my mind.
I hear the sounds of the season and lose all sense of time.
I'm moving far away to a sunny place.
Where it's just you and me, feels like we're in a dream."
- Coastline, Hollow Coves

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WUNSCH Was ist dein Wunsch zurzeit

What's your guilty pleasure?

hk4136546’s Profile PhotoHajra.
Playing with my huskies 💕
You may call me a wannabe, or something like that, but this is my only guilty pleasure.
No matter how serious the reason is for my bad mood, these guys cheer me up by moving around me, wagging their tails and rubbing their head with my trouser.
A feeling of immense pleasure arises, when I pat them, rub them, feed them or talk to them.
I know they can’t understand my language, but still, they remain calm and focused, whenever I share my reason of sadness/happiness.

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Whats your guilty pleasure

So I made a stupid mistake tonight, I looked up my ex’s on Facebook to see how they are doing. I didn’t message them but disheartened to see their partners look like me. That’s my own fault, have you ever felt so alone that you looked up your ex’s in a moment of weakness or is that just me? 😅😒

BlueEyesWhiteGuy’s Profile PhotoReaper
No, I think that’s normal to be curious on how the life of someone you once cared deeply for is going. Yet I also believe in not looking back, acceptance and moving forward 😊

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I’d like some input on some strange feelings I’ve been having. I met my bf last year after moving home due to covid. We’re a match and he treats me well. He asked me to move in. His mum insists on cooking and cleaning. He takes full advantage of this. I want to see him without his mother.

I agree that on one level this question is about values, but on another level this question is really about relationships that jump to a stage where two people don’t have all the information that they might want or need in order to move to that stage. We don’t know if they have different values yet, because as you rightly points out, you haven’t seen him in that environment. You know, he might be far better than you think he’d be once he’s in that environment.
We’ve all had that experience of, you know, you’re sort of, there’s an apathy, perhaps a little bit of ignorance sometimes that comes from a family situation where you take things for granted, and then you’re quite a different person when you move out on your own. You know, it brings out a different side to you. He might be worse than you think he’s gonna be, he might be an entitled, coddled, little nightmare. Little Lord Fauntleroy when you get him on his own 😂 so, we don’t know that yet. That’s the point.
So obviously there’s been a lot of people who met during covid and then kind of ended up moving in together just because it was either that or don’t see each other. So they were thrown into these situations where it was an unnatural rate of progress for a relationship. To some extent you might say, this is fast, right? You met last year. You’ve only experienced living at home with his parents and you don’t know what he’ll be like outside of that. In a normal situation, you would have your own place and he would have his and you’d see how it evolved from there. You see how that person is when they’re in your space. Do they pick up after themselves? Do they help you make the bed in the morning? Are they a good teammate in your environment and what do they expect when they’re in theirs? And from there you can figure out where living together feels right.
You’re worried it won’t progress right now. One way to look at that is to say okay you get your own place and I’ll get mine or at least one of us gets our own place and see how that plays out. That’s more organic. Now maybe behind this is a kind of financial situation, plus maybe some hurt feelings if they don’t decide the next step is to move in together. But there might be some financial reasons why you’re talking about moving in together from this place that you’re in right now. If you’re gonna move at a pace that’s not organic, then you should at least have some pressure relieving conversations. So, don’t sign a two year lease. Maybe not even one. Sign a six month lease and be like, “y’know what why don’t we just try it? no ones holding anyone to anything right now. It’s not that we don’t go back to living separately after this. Why don’t we just give it a try for a few months and see how we get on?” Like, my preference if finance wasn’t a problem, I’d say to them go rent an Airbnb for a month. Like, don’t even go straight into a lease. Just go live somewhere for 30 days together.

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