#nipples

It's also not that interesting. This stuff is about "the phallus" rather than "ya dick" because it shouldn't be taken literally, or as a demonstration of the active thought processes of actual misogynists. When (mostly old-school) feminism starts talking about The Phallus ppl roll their eyes, but when we talk about "emasculation" a lot of angry dudes will start emphatically nodding. Both terms are equally metaphorical, but one is used by feminism, & the other by right-wing demagogues (& feminists too, but this is about feelings, not facts. The truth doesn't care about your facts.).

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There are things I can say about this that might be relevant tho. As a slutty dude who shows off his body, I inevitably encounter the question of what to show off. A bit of bulge has been a popular addition to a lot men's wardrobes for basically all of my ppl's history, including the ultra-conservative Victorian era. I avoid it very carefully however, because to me it reads as aggressive. It's meant to be sexy, & I think a lot of folks see it that way, but I'm so alienated from male sexuality that to me it just seems intimidating. I get all pearl-clutchy about it. What if a CHILD sees me, goodness gracious.

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Most of the men I encounter down at the mall out w/ their tiny daughters would probably prefer the bulge to what I'm doing, which is without question turning their impressionable offspring gay instantly. On a busy day I'm getting looks that say "oh what the hell you can do THAT?? This changes everything!" at a rate of about once every 15 seconds. That's pretty disruptive. By comparison, "look at the cock on that guy" just makes me feel like a rude douchebag.

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Why is that? It's not like I'm presenting as a woman, so the knob isn't going to shatter some kind of careful illusion. Removes some ambiguity, honestly, but I guess it's just Too Masculine for me. Seems too vulgar, perhaps? But, I don't feel the same way about more feminine naughty-bits, cleavage & nipples & such. What's the difference?

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Perhaps this unease can be traced back to the idea that I was describing in my previous answer: a penis is DANGEROUS. It's a weapon, in a way feminine genitalia isn't. Traditional masculinity definitely agrees; as far back as Freud, the vagina was described as a "lack," while the phallus was a pro-active tool. Male sexuality is something that happens to you, is done to ppl, & female sexuality is The Gift, something that's given away (or taken). These are old ideas, & while most folks don't read Freud or Helene Cixous these days, these observations about 20th century gender construction remain very relevant to how we conceive of ourselves. Me included.

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I don't really want ppl using these old ideas to form their relationships to their own bodies, but if we're gonna discuss "gender" as a social construct, you gotta be at least somewhat familiar w/ the depressing history. It's who we are, unfortunately.

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