#parenting

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50 posts

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Do you ever wish your family raised you differently?

I was lucky to be the youngest in my family as it gave me a little more space to judge based on my own discretion than my siblings whom my parents were more strict with - a bit too strict if I daresay -. So based on the reasonable and conservative way (I) have been raised, I would say I would choose to be raised exactly the same.
BTW, the youngest usually has it easier as parents will learn from their previous parenting mistakes. The eldest is usually the lab rat :p

Do you think children with bad behavior are a result of bad parenting?

Sometimes, but not all the time. The debate concerning how much the environment vs genetics affects the child's behavior is still open to debate. For my own experience I know that genetics affects human behavior, intellect and physical attributes far more than the environment or anything that the parents said or did. Take alcohol addiction, genetics is, in my opinion, the major contributor to whether or not you will have the desire to drink and I believe that genetics is also a major factor in depression and mental illness. Anyone who has either a parent or grand parents who suffered from mental illness or alcoholism, understands how genetics significantly contributes to the condition.

society in general is ignorant when it comes to teen moms&single moms, but you'd think other moms would be more understanding. esp older moms with more experience. you are now a mother with experience, im sure if a younger and inexperienced mom asked u for guidance, you'd offer it to her.

Oh you definitely would, motherhood is an experience you never stop learning from and every mom was a new mom once so you'd think they'd be more kind. I would help them, yes. Every single day I try to help my SIL work towards becoming the mom she needs to be even though it's gonna crush me when she actually gets to where she needs to be.
The sad thing is, most of the judgement comes from moms simply making different parenting choices. Most of it isn't actually about things like baby's safety or wellbeing, most of its "well I think moms who formula feed are shxtty", "moms who iPad raise are lazy", "If that were my kid i'd spank them" etc. Just ridiculous bs like that.
Liked by: DovahMonah Trin.

I feel like this generation (which is my generation also) has a very flawed mentality in regards to parenting. My parents had already established by the time they had me. I was born in a 2 story house and was raised with more than just basic necessities. That's how it SHOULD ideally be. Agree?

your parents also grew up in a time where purchasing a new build home was cheaper. say if they bought it in, idk, like 1995 - it was only 120k, which would be about 215k now.
even if they were making minimum wage, that would be roughly 12$ an hour. and considering it was a two parent income, more than likely, that would be more than enough to purchase a house. especially considering that down payments were usually 1-4%.
not to mention there were less credit requirements because credit scores had only existed for 6 years and were nothing like they are today.
as long as a child’s basic needs are met, don’t worry about what people have.

Ga mau nanya cuma mau minta motivasinya kakaa

monkeymars’s Profile Photomonkeymars
Hello Monkey...
Motivasi yang bikin aku mau enggak mau harus selalu berkembang adalah ketakutanku sendiri.
Misalnya :
• Aku takut kalau nanti aku gabisa give back ke orang-orang terutama keluarga yang udah banyak bantu aku, yang bisa aku wujudin dengan lulus secepat mungkin biar ga nambah biaya.
• Aku takut kalau aku enggak bisa memenuhi kewajibanku nantinya sebagai partner atau pasangan yang kooperatif, yang bisa aku wujudin dengan evaluasi sikap dan kepribadian secara terus-menerus.
• Aku takut kalau nanti aku gabisa bertanggung jawab ke anak anakku dan bikin mereka akhirnya hidup susah, itu yang bikin aku sekarang semangat kerja dan lagi suka suka baca buku tentang pengetahuan keuangan.
• Aku takut kalau aku gapunya cukup bekal dan ilmu buat mendidik anak anakku nanti, yang bikin aku selain cari duit tapi tetep update hal hal diluar sana termasuk soal cara parenting.
• Aku takut jadi beban orang lain deh pokoknya
Jadi biar Monkey termotivasi, cari ketakutan atau kemungkinan terburuknya, biar Monkey lebih jelas motivasinya mau dibawa kemana.

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https://ask.fm/Feketeszem/answers/171325551315 "Szerinted vannak olyan területek, amelyeken már átestünk a ló túloldalára elfogadás szempontjából?"

Feketeszem’s Profile PhotoTiTallulah
(2/3)
Az idealizálásra maguk a nők játszanak rá: saját magukat nyomják el. Nem beszélnek a rossz dolgokról, nem beszélnek a küzdelmekről, de, ha mégis, akkor a gyerekért megérte, mellette eltörpülnek ezek a nehézségek. A gyerek mellett mindig minden csodálatos lehet. És el is jutunk addig, hogy van egy nő, aki megszült és nem érzi ezt az orgazmikus élményt, nem látja a dicső fényt, sem a harsonákat a háttérben, csak fáradt, fájdalmai vannak, aztán x nap után hazakerül a csecsemővel és egy olyan önfeláldozó élet veszi kezdetét, amire nem is számíthatott. Megfordul a fejében, hogy ez tényleg olyan jó-e, tényleg erre vágyott, másból se állnak a napjai, csak a gyerek, a gyerek, a gyerek. És, ha nem érzed azt, hogy hát minden tökéletes, akkor a szétbaszott hormonok rátesznek egy lapáttal és bumm: szülés utáni depresszió. Van, nagyon gyakori, DE erről sem beszélünk. Sőt, a nők előszeretettel rúgnak bele abba, aki ezt átéli. És miért? Mert ez is egy ördögi kör, az egész gyermekvállalási nyomás még mindig arról szól, hogy a nőnek ez a feladata, a nőnek ezt tennie kell, a nőnek ezt TŰRNIE kell. És, ha erre képtelen vagy, akkor hát... nem vagy nőnek való. Nem tudod beteljesíteni a princípiumodat. Shame. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- A gyermeknevelés, anyaság megélése: Hangsúlyozom, hogy a gyerekvállalásnak minden pontja idealizálva van: a terhességtől kezdve a szülésen át egészen az egésznek a gyümölcséig: a gyerekig és az anyaságig. Szerintem mind ismerjük az overprotective szülőket, a helicopter parenting fogalmát vagy pedig az anyatigris kifejezést. A nők a sok tűrés és szenvedés után azt gondolják, hogy kötelesek a gyerekért mindent feláldozni -> kötelesek a legjobban teljesíteni. Hogy ez mit eredményez? a) maximalizmusból adódó szorongást b) egy nyugtató illúziót arról, hogy "én tudom, mi kell a gyereknek, mert én vagyok az anyja"
A megfelelési kényszer egy elég hétköznapi dolog, úgy gondolom, hogy ennek nem kell részleteznem a következményeit. De a másik véglet meg felsőbbrendűségi érzetet ad. Ez tipikusan olyan kompenzálás, mint hogy az idióta, kis faszú csávó vesz egy bmw-t. Csak az anyaság titulusa mindenre kihat, ami a gyerekkel kapcsolatos, és gyakran az ilyen nőknek az egész életük a gyerekkel kapcsolatos. A gyerekeseknek járjon ez meg az: kedvezmény, kivételes bánásmód, extra szabadság, ilyenek. Mind ismerjük azokat a sztorikat, hogy hát elmennél karácsonykor szabira? Jaj bocs, x kolléga már kivette, nekik menniük kell haza a gYeReKeIkHeZ. Az, hogy te kivel akarod tölteni az ünnepeket, az le van szarva, neked nem jelenthet annyit a karácsony, mint nekik. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ És ez megy a világ felé, de közben gondoljunk még abba is bele, hogy a családon belül mi folyik. A nő feljogosítva érzi magát ugye arra, hogy a gyereknek mindent megadjon, mert neki ez a feladata, aztán ezt teszi, ahogy tudja. De azért ne felejtsük el, hogy sok esetben van ott egy másik szerep is.
(folyt.)

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Morning vibes ? 🌼🍂

mixhu7’s Profile PhotoMeh wish
Few tips of good parenting:
• Never insult/beat your children or discuss their flaws/shortcomings, especially in front of others.
• Always appreciate and acknowledge their efforts.
• Always admire their qualities in public.
• Don't humiliate them in any space.
• Don't disturb their self beliefs and confidence.
• Be frank with them and ask them to trust you as a friend whenever they may need support.
It's my personal experience that the parents who possess such habits naturally get obedient children in life. Islam is the only way forward. We need to do everything according to religion Islam in order to be successful in our approach/methods In Sha Allah.
Morning vibes

Aneh ga sii kalo kita selektif memilih pasangan??

adiissttyy’s Profile PhotoMba Rose
Demi bangun sebuah perjalanan panjang yang dibawa sampe akhir hayat kyanya boleh lah dimaklumi apalagi pluss kmu terlahir dari keluarga yang melihat ada celah di sejarah ibu dan bapa :') dan berharap ngga terjadi di hubungan rumah tangga mu plus memotivasi untuk jadi parenting lebih baik dari ibu bapa. Aku si ☝🏻 yang pertama dengan percaya membenarkan "selektivitas" Dalam pasangan

Apa aja sih yang perlu dipelajari atau dipersiapkan agar menjadi teman hidup yang baik?

1. Dalemin basic skills
2. Dalemin personality & karakter pasangan (klpun dia bkn utk kita, setidaknya kt belajar ttg kepribadian org yg beda2)
3. Belajar parenting (walaupun ga smua org diberkati punya keturunan sedarah)
4. Belajar mencintai (this is long-life lesson)
5. Krn gue abs nntn film survival, jd gue mo belajar ttg medicine, listrik2an & masak2an jg hahaha.
Itu sih yg baru terlintas di guee.

With summer (or winter) not too far away now, do you have any plans for the upcoming months? ☀️🏖

TobbeAsks’s Profile PhotoTobbe
Not really. We have to make passport for my son so that we can visit my family in slovenia after the summer but no specific plans until then.
I am just trying to handle single parenting and housekeeping best i can, trying to keep daily contact with both families and to support my husband as he has goes through a big project in his career. Any time left i plan on spending learning chinese and french + i am deeply invested into psychology atm and i am learning a lot about specificaly personality disorders. Mainly BPD to be precise.
I am also eventually gonna continue my weightloss during summer but for the time being i am so preocupied with everything that i am just working on maintaining until i have time for exercise again. We used to go on walks a lot during winter but summer here is sooo hot that leaving the house is something we try to avoid :'D

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You aren't fit to be a parent and we've established that already. We the people have banished you to silence already, do not speak about parenting, you are not in that position. Let someone who is a role model to do that. Do not introduce yourself in spaces that don't pertain to you. ty.

You can't list a single example of how i'm "unfit to be a parent" & we've established that already. I'm an amazing mother & you having a temper tantrum over it doesn't change a thing. Grow the fuck up

What do you think about parents who get drunk every night? Do you think it affects their child/children? •••just a random thought and I was curious to what others think☺️•••

boss_wifey_mommy291’s Profile PhotoMrs Brothers
To quote Michael Windle, senior research scientist at the Research Institute on Addictions:
"Parental problem drinking can adversely affect adolescent development and adjustment by interfering with parenting skills and marital relations. It also can lead parents to model ineffective coping strategies and other problem behaviors. Children with problem-drinking parents are at risk for alcohol and other drug use as well as for psychological problems."
So yes, alcoholism in parents affects kids in a big way. I'm very happy I grew up in a household where my parents never got drunk and only had the occasional beer or glass of wine when we had some good steak etc. I know that many kids aren't so lucky 😥
What do you think about parents who get drunk every night Do you think it

Are literate people good parents?

iqraasif1397’s Profile PhotoIqra asif
first thing, parenting comes natural. This trait has barely any relation with anything, but the closest relation it has with anything then it would be morals and ethics, and as you know morals and ethics dont come with degrees and they flow from person to person with continous experience and examples set by predecessor.
secondly, in terms of taking care of child's life on the basis of choices for his future then literate parents can do much better than the illiterate ones. They can help in deciding better education system, life choices, career choices, health issues , growing-age related problems, giving their children some privacy and similarly taking hold of the steering wheel at some points just to make sure that the child would stay on the right path.

We should normalize calling out our parent's on their toxicity. Just because they put a roof on our heads and give us food does give us them the right to say or do whatever they want with us. Chath or roti di hai toe uska pora pora hisaab bi lia hai

I understand they can be harsh sometimes or you may feel they don't understand you but we forget they are humans too. Parenting. right or wrong. Understanding or not its there issue and they are answerable to Allah. Whats the point of keeping an eye on there mistakes. No one can be perfect. Instead, keep an eye on yourself. Start working on the things you are answerable to Allah. Are we perfect? If not are we trying to give our best? Are we trying to be the reason of there comfort? Peace? Life isn't easy for anybody. They had there own struggles. And now that, they are weak and unable to show the level of patience you want. Khamosh ho jain gay tou kya chala jaye ga? You are young, you have the stamina to bear it unlike them. Bad may apologize ya baat clear kar dena aap ko hi sukoon dey ga. Hum apna aap luta bhi dein tu apnay maa baap ka ahsan nahi chuka saktey. Allah kay bad unhi hatho ney is qabil banaya hai. Or agar hamaray maa baap hum say khush nahi tou hum kabhi kamyab nahi ho saktay. Phir bhool jaein kay Allah aap ka sath dey ga ya dunia, Aakhrat may hamarey liey koi hissa hai. Always be available for them. Ye hamara farz hai. Ehsan ya badla nahi. you can never pay back your parents.
Zyada ho gaya buhat. Likin jab hum apne aap pay kaam karna shuru karein na tou pata lagta hai kitney pani may hein. Dusro ko blame karna asan huta hai. Apni ghaltiyon ki zimmidari uthana mushkil hau likin ye pehla qadam hai apni mushkilo ko hal karney ka.

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Share a time that was difficult for you to get through

I would say that my childhood and teen years were difficult and something that I would never want to experience again in this life or any other life. In fact, if I had the opportunity to live my life over with the same parents and same experiences, I would refuse.
I admire people who have had a happy childhood, received great parenting, private education and attended the finest Universities and experienced the best that life has to offer. I wish that ALL humanity could experience a great life where at the very least they are loved and cared for. Unfortunately, our existence on earth is not fair and it is not just. In fact, if God ever asks me what I thought about life on earth, I would simply say this: "It is what it is." We do the best we can with the cards we have been dealt and then we suffer death hoping that our existence meant something and that we somehow improve this world and made it a better place to live for others.
Do I have regrets? Not really.
Why?
It is what it is or as my friend liked to argue: it is what you make it. Either way, we are born, we live, and then we die. And hopefully somewhere in between birth and death, we made a difference. :)
p.s. you can read my other posts that address and answer your original question. Thanks

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POV: You & your partner have a baby together. It doesn't work out between you & you break up. You begin dating someone else. Months later, your now ex partner meets someone new & begins dating them. Would you start harassing their new partner & call them a homewrecker? Try to break them up? Wwyd?

absolutely nothing, this is how life works when you’re not married. in some cases even after marriage this can happen also. so the logical way to live would be to develop a co parenting relationship with your co parent. and make sure everyone is happy in this, because your child or children will need a good, healthy environment to live in. we have to be adults and more important we have to be parents when there’s kids involved. in reality when both of the parents are teens and their minds haven’t fully developed yet and they bring a child into this world, they tend to do the things you asked in the question because they’re immature and not thinking of the child and then the child grows up thinking they have to choose a side. that’s no way to bring any kid up, don’t have kids til your ready. also remember a home should always be a safe haven for your child, somewhere they feel welcomed and loved. when they feel uneasy and hate staying their, it’s time to get your house in order. you can take the advice or leave it.

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POV
You  your partner have a baby together
It doesnt work out between you  you

Kya kbhi apne hy ghar walon ne sakht mentally torture kya hai ?? Literally bohat bura lagta jab apkay sagay apki zindagi jahanum bana rahe hotayyy... ab mazeed bardaasht ni hoti yeh zehni azeeyat 💔💔💔💔😔

It happens, i can understand this. Parenting is not easy, upar se hamari toxic awam. Stay strong, don’t let that toxicity ruin you psychologically.

If you were an influencer, what would you influence people to do?

As silly as it sounds to some people if I were an influencer I’d just wanna be a simple lifestyle one
Just showing people a relaxing life, meditation, mindfulness journaling etc
Also if I had kids I’d involve parenting in that
A few influencers I watch have kids too

Do you feel like a part of society? ✨ I’ll go first, sometimes I feel like it might not accept me as I do everything thats against the stereotypical mindset. 🖤

FiaSaif’s Profile PhotoM.
It all stems back to our roots, our parenting. We never accept anomalies, we have never been taught how to accept someone who is different. I curse those who curse people for their different ideas, different mindset and their different approach to cope daily matters. So I have had my share in that too not gonna lie but I've realized that now.
Etc: If someone feels gay, let him feel that way, what's bothering you? Let him live yaar rather than cursing him with your pejorative words.

Yuk berpendapat (untuk yg belum nikah). Pernah kepikiran gak kalau nikah nanti kita ajarin ke anak-anak itu seperti apa yang orang tua kita ajarin ke kita? Menurutmu gimana?

Jalanin sesuai alur aja, kalau ikutin cara orang tua seharusnya sudah berbeda karena perkembangan zaman. Paling penting komunikasi sama papanya, sharing, belajar parenting, harus sepaham cara mendidik anak-anak.

You just said you planned on getting rid of Goth the way you made all our other kids disappear, HOW does that not register as WRONG to you

DontcallmeSans’s Profile PhotoGeno Pup
..W-well..uh.. I mean.. look at it this way..my powers can kiII most of them and ..with the condition your in..I really didn't think we were cut out for the whole parenting thing..if their Souls weren't living in you..I would of reaped them before they were born..*Oh no he didn't--*
Liked by: Nova Vio Shadow Geno Pup

what is your social media feed or timeline usually composed of?

mental illness, stress and coping mechanism, emotional intelligence and parenting stuffs. cannabis, shroom, psychedelic, cerebral liberty and other hippie stuffs. music, arts, politics, philosophy, poetic old films (with artistic interpretation of emotions, ideas, dreams, hope and reality). abandoned places, nature, different kinds of cottagecores and random photos of places from the european countries with the word "land" in the end. mbti and random memes (cool, horny, dark, overused etc.)

Girls ada gk si disini yg lagi setia sama seseorang yg lagi memprioritaskan hal yg akan memengaruhi masa depannya?? Dia lagi ikatan dinas pertama, rasanya gk kuat girls gk melihat dia secara langsung... adakah yg bisa sedikit curhat ttg pengalaman agar hati ini menjadi kuat? :')

gini girls, intinya sabar dan jangan sampe dipikirkan x. dibawa santai aja, selama lu gk bs ketemu sm doi, lu bisa lakuin banyak hal positif, kayak bljr masak, olahraga, belajar ilmu parenting, dsb. nti lama" gak terasa itu waktu. tau" uda di pelaminan aja sm doi, easy kn?

Ești pregătit/a sa devii părinte?

Sper ca glumesti =)))
Am 20 de ani, n-am niciun venit si mi-e greu sa cred ca la varsta asta sunt persoane care sa fie pregatite sa creasca un copil intr-un mod decent. In primul si in primul rand, pe langa un venit, o locuinta si o relatie cat de cat stabile, ai nevoie sa stii ce presupune sa fii parinte, sa te informezi putin despre parenting, psihologia copilului si sa fii ok cu tine ca sa nu ajungi sa cresti un copil cu traume sau fel si fel de probleme

my wife is pregnant kia karooo bro

congratulations brother
keep patience to deal with her mood swings. don't make her feel bad or sad. be there for her all the time. make sure you take her to doctor Everytime. be more careful about her diet and health. bring her food set up her hair. appreciate all the efforts she make even the little ones too. don't try to correct her just let her be and she'll learn herself. make her feel happy relaxed and warm. surprises often help Jese you may take her to her mothers place surprisingly and bring her the things she like do send cute text messeges plan your parenting and how you both are going to participate in parenting. listen to her opinions and value them. just try to make this the best experience of her life.

Ce calitati admiri la parintii tai?

Cel mai mult le admir bunătatea, iar pe urmă faptul că au fost dintotdeauna niște părinți care în mod natural, fără cărți/cursuri de parenting ori sfaturi, au știut exemplar să mă crească și să-mi asigure tot ce aveam nevoie pentru a mă dezvolta armonios. Acum după ce știu câte stricăciuni se trag din familie, cu atât mai mult sunt conștientă de ce noroc enorm am avut cu ai mei.

Have you noticed that most parents don't want to be held accountable for their toxic parenting and their children's behavior problems?

I’m the mother, I set examples, I’m the one who my son turns to; so what I say and do matters greatly. I take accountability. Not all parents are “toxic” and that word is used so much it’s just… I don’t know, becoming stagnant at this point to me to see so often.

practic tot ce doream eu si faceam eu era gresit, doar ce alegeau ei pentru mine era corect. Nu m-au luat niciodata in considerare, efectiv. Fix genul de parinti clasici care au impresia ca daca-ti ofera conditii decente dpdv material, sunt stapani pe tine si tre' sa-i servesti o viata.

Si de ce crezi ca e gresit? Also, ar trebui sa intelegi ca ceea ce simti, in primul rand, nu poate fi privit din perspectiva de gresit sau nu, dar probabil asta e ceva ce ai internalizat tot de la felul cum te au tratat ai tai. Tbh nu mi suna a parenting ok ce au facut ei, din pacate multi parinti romani au atitudinea asta.

Language: English