#selflove

"Gratitude and Self-Love" by Nico

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This is such an important question and one that I have asked myself hundreds of times over the years. So the first thoughts that come to mind are: What is self-love, why is it so important and how can I make it part of my life?

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There are four fundamental attributes to self-love:
1. Self-Awareness - Before we can love ourselves, we must know ourselves. Reflect on your authentic self and what drives you? Motivates you? Excites you? Disappoints you? Saddens you? Angers you? Inspires you? Relaxes you? Take time to consider your deep-seated values and how they affect your decision-making and your triggers. Your values are the blueprint for who you are as an individual.
2. Self-Acceptance - As you evaluate yourself and take a deep dive into self, you might not like what you see. That is ok because we are human with an abundance of imperfections. So own your problems. Own your mistakes. Own your values. Once you can fully accept and embrace your authentic self, the easier your self-love journey will be.
3. Self-Confidence - The best way to describe self-confidence is to think of it as self-congruence. When you show up as your authentic self in the world, and act on your self-acceptance, that’s self-confidence. It takes courage and bravery to decide to respect your own values and opinions more than others. But that’s what you have to do every single day. Not everyone will love you – but that doesn’t matter when YOU love you.
4. Self-Love - From here on out, you will make a commitment to yourself and to your growth. You will carve out time in your daily routine to invest in yourself, compliment yourself, reassure yourself and cheer yourself on.

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There are three components to self-love:
1. Gratitude - each day write down three things you are grateful for and reflect on why you feel grateful. Try to connect your gratitude to your values. What are you proud of yourself for? What compels you to get out of bed every morning and keep going? Share your gratitude with others.
2. Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk - Remember, our thoughts, whether positive or negative, precede action and affect our behavior. Be careful how you speak to yourself. Show yourself love and gratitude by choosing kind and encouraging words. Have your own back especially when it comes to standing up to your inner critic.
3. Self-Care - Self-care can be defined as any act that nourishes the self. Some self-care acts might re-energize, while others might be for relaxation purposes. Typically, it’s used to rest, reset or reflect. Taking care of yourself can be divided into three different categories: mind, body and soul.

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People have been trying to describe love since forever and everything falls short. The songs, poems, pieces of beautiful music, monuments, art, IMO it still doesn't scratch the surface. To me it just feels like "home" or the perpetual sensation of falling. It's much more powerful than just a crush, much more frightening in its power than lust and it's almost like a permanent change on molecular level.
To me it means knowing after every fight you still care about them and even when stupidly angry you're knowing you'll work through this. It means giving up your free time to make this person happy because they are just so fucking important to you. Its about compromise. Its about late night laughter at stupid shit. Its about accepting they have flaws and thus realizing your own flaws are equally as annoying to them. To me, romantic love is just having someone there to share all these beautiful moments in this beautiful life with. I feel like I can love myself all I want, but when I see or experience something amazing and I look over (hypothetically speaking) and see that no one's there to experience it with me, it still feels awfully lonely. Maybe that means I don't love myself enough.
It never hurts to love yourself more, as I'm learning. Affirmations help, as does just sort of reminding myself that everything I'm doing is mothering myself in a way. I cook food for myself because I love myself. I read to myself because I love myself. That kind of thing. So if I'm seeing a beautiful moment, I'm doing it because I love myself, and that makes it feel not lonely (usually). However, I still want someone to share in those moments with too, and I still feel lonely about it once in awhile.
Edit: I think a lasting love is based on practicalities to no small degree. Common values, interests and experiences, or like interpretations of experiences. The overwhelming chemical reaction of physical attraction ensures the continuation of the species, but to have a companion, partner and confidante to go through life with joyfully is going to take more than surges of feelings. Never underestimate the value of unselfishness, and be prepared to sacrifice without rancor.
Love isnt the "wow she's awesome" after meeting someone. Love isnt the magical first date. Love isnt the infatuation with someone. Love is the enduring enjoyment of company with someone. Its wanting to cuddle even in the worst times, its wanting to comfort each other no matter the situation, it's all about sticking together no matter the hardships. Love is long term. I'm in an interesting phase in my life where I'm realizing for the first time that I don't need anyone else to feel perfectly fulfilled. For most of my life, I've leaned hard on romantic relationships to fill a void in me that turned out to be a lack of self-love (codependency). This turned romance into a sort of drug, and as my tolerance grew, the people I was with grew less attractive and newer love felt like a bigger and better hit.

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Nothing is set in stone, changes are still happening. An idea is still in the development stages. The situation can be a bit unsettling. The best will unfold for you. Work towards those goals. Stay adaptable. Don't be led astray. Refocus your attention on the right priorities. Need to release. Have patience and down time for yourself. Stop trying so hard to please everyone else. It's safe to move forward. Let go of emotional baggage. Meditation or yoga can be good. Prosperity lies ahead. Doubting self-worth. Believe in yourself. Believe that finances will be better. Use law of attraction. A new relationship can happen. S*xier times ahead. Don't give up. Self-care is needed. There's been some delays around. Worry less. Adjust expectations. Trust in your highest good. Something better around the corner. Surrender. Contemplation mode. Make the first move. Get organized. Speak up for what you want. Take charge of destiny. Avoid being reckless. Feel your emotions. Odds are in your favor. A wish coming true. Forgiveness needed. Release control, let things unfold. Let fears dissolve. Work on insecurities. Go after creative urges. Do things you loved as a kid. Let go of any guilt. Don't let people's projections get to you. You are worthy of love, self-love too. You've done nothing wrong.

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Root chakra.. abuse, trauma, neglect, not being loved the way you should have been, poor bond with parents.

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Manifesting days: Monday and Friday.

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No.
Why?
Because I care about myself and I do not need positive feedback from other people to feed my ego or to sustain my sense of self-love or self-worth. The idea of being invisible is as foreign to me as the perceived sense of loneliness.
I enjoy solitude and therefore, I am never lonely.
I never perceive myself as being worthless and as a result, I never feel invisible.

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When I am being ignored, I simply wander off and partake in activities that I enjoy whether alone or with other people who I find interesting i.e. intelligent, creative, emotionally stable and kind. If that is not possible, I go off by myself and have a myriad of hobbies and interests to entertain myself and focus my attention upon without ever resorting to feeling "invisible." You might say that I am intellectually, emotionally and physically self sufficient. So what other people think, say or do is of no interest or consequence to me unless their behavior somehow directly affects me and then I will respond as appropriate and with the required physical or intellectual force required to subdue and neutralize the threat.

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the principal problem was in my unawareness of how important self-love and self-care are and how loveable i am as well.
this was the first step: awareness
then i started admiring my true worth and accepting all of my flaws but while keeping in mind what needs to be a work in progress =self-love
after that as a giver i used to literally give EVERYTHING i could to anyone i love and totally neglected my own needs hoping that someone someday will take care of that thinking that it’s the only way to feel happy about fullfilling a need; however, NO
i started actually getting myself all the stuff i’ve been waiting for people to recognize how i love them and get it but none did !
i got them all for myself and this was almost like filling up a deep hole inside of me .. and then waiting wasn’t a thing for me as well as needing anything or anyone = self-care + detachment
by accomplishing this
myself started showing back on the suface
i got back to being funny, optimistic, fashionable and full of life
and all that accompanied by a huge amount of rationality
وطبعاً مننساش فضل ربنا عليا اللي انقذني في ايام كنت حرفياً بموت فيها حرفياً
it’s not and was not as easy as it sounds 🌼

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V mojom živote sa striedajú obdobia, sprevádzané občas až prílišným perfekcionizmom, ktorý má za následok, že ak je toho veľa, nie som schopná konania a zostanem zaseknutá v istom bode.

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Toto zaseknutie v istom bode má za následok možný neúspech, ktorý ak nastane moja hodnota voči sebe samej klesá.
Ak je neúspechov viac za sebou, môj vzťah k sebe samej vie dosiahnuť fakt katastrofické hodnoty od čoho sa odvíja i tá pomyselná sebe-láska, čo v tých chvíľach je skôr "nemať rád" než "mať rád.

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Takže čo budujem napríklad niekoľko mesiacov, rokov /ohľadom selflove/ viem kvôli pár neúspechom tak zadupať do zeme, že to vidí málokto a ani následné úspechy to nevedia napraviť.

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Asi som to vzala moooc obkľukou, ale jedno súvisí s druhým a nejak je to od seba závislé. Snáď sa z toho dá nejaká jasná odpoveď vydedukovať..

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If you're talking about the "you have to love yourself before you love someone else" thing (as the way you wrote it, I haven't heard it), I don't totally agree.
Sure, there may be some wisdom in this hackneyed phrase. Loving yourself would absolutely deepen intimacy with another. If we can approach ourselves with self-love and acceptance, we're probably more up to open up to others, be vulnerable, show them all of our sides, instead of hiding away the parts we don't like. BUT, I ultimately hate that phrase, as I think it has it backwards. Loving other people teaches u how to love yourself. The depth of which we can give to others, forgive others, love others. That's a mirror to exactly how capable we are.

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And, I think, across the board it's way harder to give yourself the same graces, we often give to other people. For most of us that's where the work is. Treating yourself with the same generosity, that we give to the people we love. Because the way we treat ourselves typically is horrifying..

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Ini sih cara gue untuk menjalakan apa yang gue jalani sekarang tapi bisa di pake buat nant kedapan lagi hehe .
1. Mampu merasakan kepuasan hidup jadi : dalam hidup gue mampu menerima segala kekurangan dan kelebihan diri. Sikap menerima diri dengan apa adanya ini termasuk dalam hal menerima seluruh kondisi hidup, suka ataupun duka, dan mampu lebih bertanggung jawab terhadap tindakan apapun yang dilakukan
2. Mendorong Sikap Percaya Diri atau Self-Esteem
Dalam hal menjaga kesehatan mental, self-esteem atau kepercayaan diri memiliki peranan krusial. Secara umum, yang dimaksud dengan self-esteem merupakan bagaimana cara seseorang melihat dan menerima kondisi dirinya sendiri, termasuk dalam hal meningkatkan rasa percaya diri. Jadi ini tuh penting buat kamu yang gak suka percaya diri jangan sampe harga diri kamu terijak” dan merasa bodoh .
3. Ambil Keputusan dengan Lebih Percaya Diri
Mengambil keputusan besar memang membutuhkan banyak pertimbangan. Karenanya tak sedikit orang yang sering merasa ragu untuk membuat keputusan, termasuk keputusan terhadap hidupnya sendiri. Nah, penerapan self-love ini bisa kamu latih dengan cara lebih percaya diri saat mengambil keputusan mengenai hidup diri sendiri… dan bagi gue sih kalau udah bener” yakin gue gak ragu untuk mengambil keputusan walaupun terkadang bisa merugikan diri sendiri dan orang lain tapi gue siap menerima konsekuensinya .. apapun yang gue perbuat dan gue bakal tanggung jawab .
4. Menjaga Kesehatan Tubuh dan Gaya Hidup Positif
Self-love bukan hanya seputar menerima segala kekurangan dan kelebihan diri sendiri, namun juga berusaha untuk menjalani hidup dengan usaha terbaik. Salah satunya adalah dengan menjaga kesehatan tubuh dan membiasakan diri untuk menjalani gaya hidup yang positif. Sekadar rutin berolahraga, mengonsumsi makanan dengan gizi seimbang, banyak minum air putih, serta istirahat cukup merupakan contoh dari penerapan self-love di kehidupan sehari-hari. Jika ingin hidupmu lebih sehat!
5. Menjaga Circle Pertemanan dengan Orang yang Mampu Memberi Pengaruh Positif
Lingkungan yang toxic akan membuat kamu lebih sulit untuk bisa menerapkan self-love. Oleh karena itu, penerapan self-love bisa dimulai dengan menjaga circle pertemanan dengan orang yang mampu memberi pengaruh yang positif saja. Hindari menjalin hubungan dengan orang yang sering memberikan hal negatif kepadamu demi dapatkan kondisi mental yang lebih sehat. Nah disini gue tuh alhamdulilah ya gue punya sahabat gak terlalu banyak Karna satu ataupun 2pun cukup bahkan lebih dari cukup .. dan gue pun orangnya gak terpengaruh sama orang” yang hal negatif atau hal yang gak gue sukai .. tapi gue berteman sama siapa ajaa gak pernah milih cuman ada batasan” yang gue gak mau melebihi batas wajar gue.
6. Jalani Sikap Mencintai Diri Sendiri dengan Tetap Berbuat Baik Kepada Sesama ,peduli sama orang yang membutuhkan atau minta pertolongan ,bersikap empati dll intinya sih berbuat baik akan hidupnya tenteram dan damai

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I’m naturally very duty bound in my life, woman admire it but it comes completely natural to me. My ability to remain rational and diplomatic when other people are out losing their minds over something. Also criticism doesn't faze me.
Being very empathic and attentive; being highly intelligent and possessing great general knowledge on a wide variety of topics; being generally well informed; being loyal as a friend. Idk, I hate to talk positive about myself or stroke my own ego lol. But I guess I like that I have a positive mindset and a caring outlook on the world.
My sense of humor and self awareness. I feel like a lot of people, especially my age, fail to look at themselves objectively.
Honestly most things! I stopped judging myself a few years ago and have grown to fully love myself for who I am.
I'm loyal as a dog. if you're my friend I will do anything I can to help you.
I love my ability to remain calm, even during extremely stressful situations and think calmly and logically. Also, my thirst for knowledge. I might not be the smartest but I love learning random things and strive for answers to unanswerable questions
I’m extremely diplomatic, especially when I’m the mediator between 2 beefin groups. Where I live is extremely diverse, but there was only one of my ethnicity, which forced me to step out of my “shell” more and understand the various groups. It started as a teen, now I negotiate and mediate as part of my job duties.
I haven’t been dealt the easiest hand in life; I have major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder from both a rough childhood (mentally ill father) and an incredibly abusive eight-year relationship with a malignant narcissist. My physical health isn’t much better and the list of diagnoses there is similarly laughable.
My personality. I consider myself a kind, caring, and selfless person. When making decisions, I usually consider how it would affect others and if they would be ok with it or not. I’m also a very honest person, as I don’t want to feel the guilt of knowing that someone thinks something happened when it never did. I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea, it would really screw with me. Honestly, I’d be a pretty nice guy to befriend or date in the future.
I'm resilient. I talk about giving up all the time but somehow I find the strength to keep on keeping on and that makes me pretty proud. And I always look for the best in a situation. And I never give up, even to a bad degree.
I’m a natural born troubleshooter; I can usually very quickly figure out how things are supposed to work and notice what’s not doing the job it’s supposed to do. It has saved me a lot of time and money over the years, and made me good money as well.

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Don't be hard on yourself when you're still learning.

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Sometimes we get so involved with this self-love thing that we start beating ourselves up when we're not in a place we think we should be. We create these standards for ourselves, where we create this whole world for ourselves where we think we need to act, look, or be at the same level of others when that's not realistic. You are not them, you are you and you are moving at the pace you're meant to move at.
We forget to show what it looks like to be in our shoes. We end up going back to the things we know over and over again because that's what we know. It's ok, it's going to happen, take a deep breath. Not every boundary we set or skill we use is going to work for each situation we are in and it can be scary when we get triggered like that. You're going to have ups and downs along the way. Every time you face a new obstacle, there might be a little resistance because you might be feeling triggered and if you're feeling triggered; you end up going to your old habits. It's not that you aren't moving forward because you are — it's the fact that it can be scary when you're faced with a new challenge. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to do something or say your true feelings in the moment when you were triggered. Try looking at it as 'this is something I need to heal through' or 'I wonder what it was that triggered me?'. Take it has a learning experience and if you're noticing a pattern where you struggle to set a boundary maybe you can show love to that area. Maybe it's an abandonment, was I abandoned in some sort of form in my childhood that made me react this way? Try to break down the events in what triggered you instead of beating yourself up for not handing in the way you wanted to.

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