#single

Penso che il tuo disagio derivi dal fatto che pensi di trovare la validazione esternamente a te: prima di tutto, se tu ti sentirai sicura, ti assicuro che molto fa la sicurezza. Ci sono milioni di persone esteticamente non granché, ma la sicurezza e soprattutto lo charme le rende tremendamente affascinanti, soprattutto agli occhi delle altre persone. Poi questo non vale per tutti i casi, ma fa tanto.
Però penso che questo si colleghi molto al tuo disagio, ma correggimi se sbaglio, mi sembra che tu voglia per forza piacere a quella singola persona di cui stai parlando.
Io ho un po' lo stesso problema a volte, nel senso che tante volte mi sono sentita non considerata perché non ero secondo gli standard (secondo la mentalità), e in questo periodo sto lavorando sul fregarmene. Io voglio piacere a me stessa e basta, voglio fregarmene, perché avere feedback esterni ti porta ad un'autostima e una conferma solo illusoria e falsa.
Però capisco anche il disagio: io non sarò quella che ti dice frasi come "Sei bellissima comunque sia" perché le trovo di un'ipocrisia allucinante, però sento molto questo disagio e mi dispiace 🌺

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Sorry aber das ist der größte bullsh*t. Du sagst hier indirekt das du deinem Freund NICHT vertraust und ihn testen lassen musst ob er treu ist oder nicht. Wenn du ein Sch:iss Gefühl hast dann rede mit ihm! Wenn du ihm nicht vertraust dann beende es. Würde mein Freund mich testen wollen wäre das für mich ein trennungsgrund da es zeigt das dieser kein Vertrauen hat und eine Beziehung ohne vertrauen ist so oder so zum scheitern verurteilt. Wenn er in der Vergangenheit sch:isse gebaut hast dann sorry aber du hast es dir selbst ausgesucht weiter mit ihm zsm zu bleiben (oder wenn’s vor deiner Zeit war) mit ihm zusammenzukommen🙈ich versteh Leute nicht die mit jemanden zusammen kommen nur obwohl sie ihm/ihr nicht vertrauen. Schade das heutzutage viele eine Beziehung eingehen weil sie als Single nicht glücklich sein können aber vergessen das wenn man als Single nicht glücklich ist, ist man es auch nie zu 100% in einer Beziehung🤷🏼‍♀️heute Nacht auf Tik tok auch ein Video gesehen mit „er hat sein Handy bei dir vergessen“ und das Mädchen hat geheult. Ich hab kommentiert „bin ich die einzige die ihrem Freund vertraut und das Handy nicht kontrollieren muss“ und ich bekam so viele negative Kommentare wie „wo ist das kontrollieren das ist nachschauen“ oder „wie du siehst war es in diesem Fall berechtigt“ oder sonst ieinen Müll. Nein es war weder nur „nachschauen“ noch war es dennoch „berechtigt“… in diesem Fall hat der Freund wohl seiner Freundin vertraut denn wäre ihm das so wichtig gewesen das sie ja nichts findet oder so dann hätte er niemals das Handy „vergessen“ und so hat sie das Vertrauen zerstört zumal leider viele übertreiben wenn der Partner/die Partnerin mit dem anderen Geschlecht befreundet ist was ich auch 0 verstehe warum. Naja… vertraust du deinem Freund nicht dann sorry aber dann solltest du Schluss machen.

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Pros:
1) I'm someone who enjoys/appreciates communications, in good and bad times.
2) I love giving. Not just buying things for her, but simpler things like letters etc.
3) I'm brand new. Virgin. Lmao.
4) I only date to marry.
5) I live by a code, STRONGLY. This includes being faithful, as far as not going out to meet with other females friends. And if there's a group outing with females in it, honesty is my policy.
6) Very respectful.
7) There's no needa fear I'm fooling around. I'm as good as having her name tatted on my forehead.
8) I can do without being all touchy, good for those who prefers to keep it that way, until marriage. After all, that's also my reason for staying a virgin.

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Cons:
1) I'm not good looking.
2) There are certain things which I can't do due to anxiety.
3) I'm shy, so it may be a challenge to have me (or to have me act a certain way she would want me to) around her family, relatives and friends. So I can be socially awkward.
4) I'm not sure about the future me in a life with a partner, but the current single me occasionally goes through episodes of depression. If and when this happens.. I'm sorry. All I need is assurance, encouragement, or sometimes validation.
5) I'm not for those who wants/needs sex (before marriage) for us to work. Try your best u may, u still won't break me. Most I can do is hold hands and hi-bye hugs.
6) I'm also not into drinking (and drug abuse) and clubbing/partying, and also do not wish to date someone with such lifestyle.

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Things to take note:
1) I am actually different from what my appearance may suggest. I swear people who know me can vouch for this.
2) I intend to retire this image before marriage. So don't let this image push u away, and for some, don't fall in love with this image of mine.
3) Love language that I give: Acts of services and Words of affirmation.
4) Love language that I appreciate: Words of affirmation. Simple man.

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I think that your mother is grieving many losses at once. The loss of her family members and the loss of the physical strength she had a few years ago. Grief in itself is a very heavy feeling, it emotionally exhausts us. Along with this grief, she also fears for the future. She sees that your eldest sister hasn’t settled down yet and she has grown so weak already, would she even be there for all the rest of your siblings? Would she be physically and mentally able to get all of you settled down? This also is a cause of a lot of stress for a parent who feels like they’re physically declining because for most people, physical decline is a sign that they are losing control over their lives. If they are depending on others now, how are their kids gonna depend on them for their future? This thought scares them.
All this stress and anxiety, along with grief exhausts a person so they don’t feel doing anything that they once used to enjoy. You wouldn’t want to go and enjoy yourself if your mind is so burdened right?
One way to deal with this situation is help her open up about her concerns. But you can’t do that by asking her directly because she wouldn’t want to stress you guys out with her problems. So you could do that by creating a fake situation. Like say that you met a friend online jiski ammi is soo sick and she s so worried for her daughter’s future. She has x number of daughters and none of them are married. She has asked me for advice because she is my friend, what should I tell her mama? See what she says in response to that. Does she reveal her concerns too? Even if she doesn’t you can answer your own question by citing different ahadith. By saying ke you have read that Allah has promised that if something is written for something, even if the entire world is to gather against it, that person would get what’s destined for him. And tell her ke you know a woman on youtube who got married early in her life and thought she was so lucky but later own got divorced and now she recalls that her married life was a nightmare and she’d rather stay single. I know of a yutuber like that, that’s why I am mentioning this. So tell her that delay in marriage is because Allah prepares us for the life He has chosen for us. He has to equip us with all the skills we need to raise our children and live with the spouse that he has chosen for us.

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Baaqi grief of losses, tell her to read a few verses of qur’an everyday for all the people she has lost. Qur’an reaches the departed souls and Allah eases their hereafter as a result of this. Talk to her about your khalas more often. Don’t let her suppress these feelings of grief. Sometimes crying it all out is the solution. My mother saw my nani breath her last, right infront of her. I thought there’s no way my mom would be able to recover from this trauma. At first it was very hard, she wouldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard she tried. But then I started talking more and more to her about our nani.

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Seeking for improve, this sick community
having a feel that u're not good enough, being terrible to yourself.
looking forward to be special.

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There is generally a lot of pressure to “stack up” in our culture. We feel as if there is something wrong with us if, for example, we’re still single by a certain age, don’t make a certain amount of money, don’t have a large social circle, or don’t look and act a certain way in the presence of others. The list could truly go on forever.
On an almost daily basis, I meticulously look for evidence that I am a nobody, that I don’t deserve to be loved, or that I’m not living up to my full potential.
One thing I’ve learned about making changes and reaching for the next rung on the ladder is that you cannot feel fully satisfied with where you’re going until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are.
Embrace and make peace with where you are, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.

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Not really. We have to make passport for my son so that we can visit my family in slovenia after the summer but no specific plans until then.

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I am just trying to handle single parenting and housekeeping best i can, trying to keep daily contact with both families and to support my husband as he has goes through a big project in his career. Any time left i plan on spending learning chinese and french + i am deeply invested into psychology atm and i am learning a lot about specificaly personality disorders. Mainly BPD to be precise.

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I am also eventually gonna continue my weightloss during summer but for the time being i am so preocupied with everything that i am just working on maintaining until i have time for exercise again. We used to go on walks a lot during winter but summer here is sooo hot that leaving the house is something we try to avoid :'D

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