#skiing

I’m sorry I quit climbing- I know you loved it. And cross country and skiing and the guitar. I’m so, so sorry- you’re depressed. But you don’t regret it as much as you thought you would.

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I’m sorry I didn’t use more of that cream on your scars or maybe I’m sorry I used as much as I did- because now, 8 years later, you’re still not comfortable with them.

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I’m sorry you’ve been mistreated by someone who you looked up to when you were five. And I’m sorry for what they’re about to do to you. I’m sorry you were too young to understand, I’m sorry I make you go through it alone and I’m sorry it still hurts.

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I’m sorry you break up with that man you cared about so much once you got him. You’ll know who I’m talking about in seven years. That is something I didn’t mean, that was a mistake. But now you’re closer than ever and he feels like home.

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On the topic of boys, I’m sorry you’ve talked and done more with a guy you would never have even wanted me to talk to. But you’ll understand what it’s like to not use your brain. It’ll take a few years though because you use yours now. But one day in 2019 you’ll understand what it’s like to fall so deeply for someone you shouldn’t.

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I’m sorry that I didn’t live up to everything you and everyone else knew I could be. I’m sorry that I haven’t got my driving licence yet and I leave uni and I don’t have a secret modeling career on the side. I’m sorry that you can’t do anything in the world and be amazing at it because sometimes that’s just not possible and it has nothing to do with you or how amazing you are.

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I’m sorry you don’t sleep and forget a lot of your memories and stop trying to remember them but you pick up a a few new ones and you eventually make it out of the Cumbria for the long run. And sorry, but sometimes you kinda hate it.

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Lastly, I’m sorry your current love breaks your heart and I’m sorry the next one does too. And I’m sorry you lose your closest friend in the World but it’s okay, really. You get him back I promise but it’s not the same. And I’m sorry, but no, the guy in leathers won’t ever give you the attention you for some reason want but he looks tired now and you’re somehow more pretty.

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And I know it might not sound like it, but you are so happy right now. You have that sister-like best friend you never knew you wanted, you stay up until 5am laughing your ass off with friends and strangers more times than you can count, you still climb, you have a job that you love and let’s you afford a life of your own, you have friends that show up at your door with doughnuts (yes, seriously), you learn so many new faces and expressions that you love, Patrick makes it to 87, you still have the coolest mum around, and it takes 8 more years but you are happier.

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Oh and most of all, you haven’t lost sight of who you are. And you never, ever can. Shine bright, you crazy girl. I love you and everything you become.

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YEs. Volleyball but only played in school. Team? only in a class. I liked volleyball as a team sport only because it was the one sport that I could actually play with some skill. No, playing sports was not my thing and it wasn’t encouraged by parents. They were old school Asian strict parenting. Music was my thing. I did try tennis and squash. Didn’t like running and could never find a body that could play at my level. I was surrounded by physical education teachers who were very good at any sport. They were very patient and kind but I was the one that benefitted playing with them. Know a lot about sports and appreciate good games when played and excellent athletes. Love watching the olympics especially down hill skiing which I got to the intermediate stage until my knee said no more! Now I am just starting Golf and rather enjoy being outside and competing with myself and the challenges of the game. The whole point would be to say that I started too late in my 30’s and 40’s and now over 65 to start learning to play a sport. I was not co ordinated enough to excel in it so wasn’t all that interested in it. Where I did excel in Music. many co-relations there to sports, deeper breathing, hand eye co-ordination, fine motor co-ordination over gross motor co-ordination. The biggest attribute from all this experience is that it makes you appreciate the hard discipline and work for anyone to be able to play a sport and do it well to the professional level. The benefits for your brain to work in a different manner and to get the brain food of Oxygen! Enjoy whatever sport you do whether you excel or play poorly, it does not matter. As long as it gives you some kind of pleasure, be outside, play with friends and be an appreciator of sport. IT goes the same for the ARTS be it Music, Drama or visual Art! I enjoy many sports. I have played tennis, table tennis, golf, basketball, volleyball, softball, football and soccer. I love playing sports. However I do not care much for watching them. From the sports above it is obvious I played on teams. The reason I started playing tennis was the fact that as a singles player the only person to blame for a loss was myself. I was often frustrated with team sports when fellow team members would not put put the effort at times and would cause is to lose. What even frustrated me worse was when I sucked and cost the team a win.

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There's a few people I wish I could hate (not saying my reasons) but no, I don't wholeheartedly hate them. There have been moments, though. I remember when my brothers and I were kids and we were on one of our skiing holidays with dad. We had lost dad so we navigated ourselves around the Bulgarian mountains for a few hours before coming across him. It was getting late and he said the weather was getting bad and that we'd have to hurry. But by this point I was tired, we had skied every day for a week already and my hands were in so much pain that I sat down in the snow and refused to go. I was looking at him when I cried out, he remained expressionless and continued to tell me to shut up and get up. We skied for a while and finally got to a familiar area and he told me there was one more steep bit. As he spoke, he reached out and caught hold of my waist, tugging me gently towards him. He was careful, almost tender, in the way he spun me round so that I was facing out from the slope when I came to a stop beside him. He directed my legs to footholds that he had hacked, unbuckled my boots, pulled my socks up high and tightened the buckles, took my hands in his and rubbed them together. I realised then that he had been fully aware of the pain he had been putting me through, and this concern was a quiet way of saying, it's all right. I wasn't being a bastard. It just had to be done.

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Ohhh, the burning question. Except it isn’t, because I’m sure that you’re the only one who’s interested. I see you - only one anon calls my ungrateful for the way that I talk about my father 😉

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I hero worshipped my Dad. I wanted to be just like him, and I was so absolutely desperate to make him proud. It took me years to connect with my Mum properly - which I now know is due to both her and my little brother being aspergic, but how the hell does anyone explain that to a toddler? “Sorry kid, your Mum doesn’t want to hug you because she genuinely can’t stand to touch you right now.” I’m 21 and that shit still stings. I can’t think of the last time I hugged my Mum. Her only physical way of showing any affection is to occasionally push my hair out of my face every couple of months.

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So Dad was my source of hugs. He was the one who tickled me, who gave me piggybacks. And he’s been a pilot his entire working life, be it RAF or private jets. So he only had to be a daddy for a couple of days a month. He’d come home with flowers and with presents, and he’d be gone again the next day. He was a bit like smoke - you’d reach out and try and grab him, but there was no one there. When work called, he left. End of story.

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And what I’m not saying is that he was a brilliant guy, or a good guy. I’m just trying to paint a picture of how I saw him. It started to change when I was eleven - I was sent to boarding school, he and Mum were fighting over the fact that he wanted to relocate to China and to leave us behind. Anyway, in the midst of all of this, my childhood best friend died in a skiing accident. I found out from a fucking newspaper - it made the front page of The Times. I wasn’t allowed to swear, but when the headline sunk in, I did. First time. I remember it so clearly.

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The front row of pews were reserved for family at the funeral. Dad didn’t know Ben - he’d never been around enough - but he swanned into that funeral just as it was getting underway and sat right there in that front pew. I couldn’t believe it. My world had fallen apart and now this. For the first time, I didn’t want to be associated with my Dad at all.

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They split up not long after. And you know how every parent promises that nothing will change, and that they’ll love you no matter what? Yeah. To prove it, he moved 5,000 miles away to the Emirates. I get a Facebook message three or four times a year - and I miss my Dad. But it’s so much easier to be angry than it is to be hurt, especially when he doesn’t care anyway. So when I say that I haven’t got a Dad, I mean it. I can’t think where he got to.

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troppo ingenuo. Affronta le sfide quotidiane con entusiasmo e voglia di fare, e non si tira mai indietro davanti ad una sfida. Fin troppo fiero ed orgoglioso, possiede dei tratti narcisisti, solo sulla personalità. Si considera il perfetto eroe, il principe azzurro per eccellenza, l'incarnazione del coraggio. Il suo errore è che, più che coraggio, Alphonso non riesce a riconoscere proprio il pericolo. È istintivo, dice la prima cosa che gli passa per la testa, senza curarsi delle reazioni altrui. È abbastanza lunatico, se la maggior parte del tempo risulta fin troppo entusiasta, è facile che possa cambiare umore con uno schiocco di dita. Sa essere estremamente infantile e capriccioso, ma il suo altruismo spesso vince su questi difetti. In realtà, nasconde un lato serio e responsabile, che lo porta a mettere chiunque prima di sé stesso.
🏍Lɪᴋᴇs & Dɪsʟɪᴋᴇs: Ama la sua moto, una Harley Davidson Electra Glide, e ama con tutto sé stesso praticare gli sport più pericolosi esistenti, quali bunjee-jumping, paracadutismo, BASE jumping, heli skiing et similia. Per lui, lealtà e libertà vengono prima di tutto. Ama il cibo spazzatura, sorprendentemente, e non è difficile vederlo mentre se ne ciba di nascosto. Ama trascorrere ore ed ore in cielo, a pilotare, ma anche migliorare la sua mira o esercitarsi comunque nel combattimento corpo a corpo.
😖Pᴀᴜʀᴇ: Sembra non avere paura di niente, ma, in realtà, ha paura di una cosa sola. Non la dico certo qui, sarebbe spoiler. Verrà fuori con le role.
😛Dɪsᴛᴜʀʙɪ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟɪ ᴇ/ᴏ ғɪsɪᴄɪ: Leggera Sindrome di Peter Pan ━ situazione psicologica in cui si trova una persona che si rifiuta, o è incapace di crescere, di diventare adulta e di assumersi delle responsabilità. La sindrome è una condizione psicologica patologica in cui un soggetto rifiuta di operare nel mondo "degli adulti" in quanto lo ritiene ostile e si rifugia in comportamenti ed in regole comportamentali tipiche della fanciullezza.━
👽Cᴜʀɪᴏsɪᴛᴀ̀:
•È convinto di essere-

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