#sleep

Depends on the definition of “lost.” If you are referring to a friend just deciding to not be friends anymore, I get quietly mad, then sad/self-conscious, and then eventually I remember the reasons why they left and just realize they aren’t worth the time if they don’t value friendship as much as I do. Unless I’m the one that fucked up… still working on figuring that one out. If you are referring to a friend passing, it’s pretty easy: you don’t. I knew a girl who was one of the few people in this world that day 1 I felt I could talk to about anything and would genuinely listen and understand. Even about the darker stuff in life. Apparently there was a reason she was so understanding of the struggles I (or anyone who has a diagnosed mental illness) faced, because she left a few years ago. She was 20. It’s completely earth shattering. In my case, when I found out my mind became useless. There was no such thing as logic, and the world physically felt far away. All I was at that point was a mass of negative energy and emotions… at least that’s what it felt like. I didn’t have to do anything generally speaking, but I was at a complete loss as to what to do, think, or feel. Basically you run on autopilot until the shock fades. What I’m getting at is over time the mind begins it’s sluggish return to what I feel is an imitation of my mindset prior to that day. Eventually, you can do basics again such as brushing teeth, showering or just being able to sleep for 7 hours. At some point you finally reach what feels like a close experience to normalcy, but it will always feel just slightly different. You overcome the shock, but you never overcome the devastation of it all.

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The worst thing to become popularized in the last decade is the concept of extrovert and introvert. These things are not exclusive to each other and most people are not just one or the other. It's a spectrum that were pointed in and most importantly its a spectrum that can change due to a plorthea of circumstances.
Yip. I'm super introverted and love my alone time. But I'm also a massive party animal. I DJed at clubs/festivals for years as well. But I legit hate performing, especially in front of big crowds.
I always have fun with my friends from back home no matter what we’re doing. I also have fun with my brothers like we can talk and do random stuff (without alcohol) for hours and still have a good time. I’ve also realised that after COVID I’ve become much more family oriented compared to what I was before, not sure why. Yeahh, that makes sense. I feel like as I’m getting older, I’ve begun to love my ‘me time’. When I was in my first year at uni, I practically spent every single minute of everyday with friends. I only came to my room to sleep. I would NEVER do that now.
Even when I'm dancing I prefer to find a spot for myself so I'm not in a crowd. I'm usually the one on a speaker or something.
So I’m 24 and I loveee partying, clubbing, drinking, etc. When friends make plans to go partying, I’m always in. When I go for night outs, I genuinely have so much fun. You know when friends wanna leave the club early? I never do cuz I’m always wanting to stay till the end. However, I’m also an introvert. After a long day I legit fantasize about watching Netflix and chilling by myself in my PJs. So basically, I don’t really enjoy regular hangouts with my friends,as in going out to eat and stuff like that. If I’m doing something non party related, all I wanna do is leave so I can be alone doing my own thing. But while clubbing, I’m the opposite. Am I super weird for being an introvert that’s likes to party? It is absolutely ok. No one should feel forced to do something they don't want to do. There is a reason people go to clubs in a group so they can look out for each other. I think the biggest challenge for us as introverts is not how to avoid everything we don't like turning us into hermits. The challenge is to make sure we take the steps necessary to overcome these situations in a safe and fun way. Clubs too loud? Find a quieter public place. Dancing? Could that be just a insecurity? Find a way to dance home alone to build confidence. Approached by people.. Find a group with common interests that you can ease into. You are going to have to take baby steps to not only get over your trauma but to protect yourself from further problems. As a hermit myself I regret almost every day not taking a more proactive role in my life.

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