#sleeping

Many times. My entire family, in my opinion, was toxic. While most normal families were drinking water or milk, my mother, brothers and sisters preferred alcohol, cigarettes, gossip and hate. And those attributes are the elements of extraordinary toxicity.

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At age 18 I was in love with my first girl friend who swore on a bible that she loved me until one day I caught her sleeping with another boy and then she slightly modified her story to include both boys. Her justification was that it was perfectly normal to love multiple men and therefore I should simply accept her distorted perception of reality, which I refused to do. In retrospect, breaking up with Ruth was the best thing that could have happened because at age 18 I was naive and had no idea that humans, and in particular females, could be so dishonest, deceptive and manipulative. It was a lesson I will never ever forget.

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Lastly, there have been many male friendships that were extremely toxic and not worth a pot to pee in. Once again I learned the hard way that people will say and do anything to get what they want. And so I decided to study some psychology while in college and specifically "Abnormal Psychology." After being hurt so many times I was determined to understand human nature and what motivated people so I could protect my own self interests, which I have done and continue to do.

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Life is tough and those who survive (1) learn from their mistakes and (2) establish personal boundaries with other people to protect themselves from a variety of potential abuses perpetrated by liars, thief's and unscrupulous scoundrels who do not give a damn about you, your family or your health and well being. So as a matter of common sense, it is imperative that we learn to understand human nature and human intent whenever we are dealing with other people.

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Anton's voice:
Sweat tickles down my stomach under my shirt, she is my summer with a very deep neckline, I carefully licked her hot tongue. Burned to a scream and even a little frightened by such a passionate challenge. Because if this summer is love... then only in the leather backseat of a hot black car, burning with every movement. In the smell of dust, gasoline, rubber, painfully scratching my burnt back, pouring the sun into my eyes, summer loves me for no reason, and I myself climb into the inferno into her fool who misses the warmth. Knowing that I will suffocate in the stuffy anthill. A granite city sleeping to the chirping of a Geiger counter ... in a stuffy kitchen, coffee grounds stuck tightly to the cup, and on the thick it is written that tomorrow it will rain and you will again be distant and desired and no one's...

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