#ugly

A big one for me is dressing well. Outside of the gym, the women wearing leggings are low effort imo. I think they look like shit because of it. Same with those large distressed light denim that women seem to wear these days. A nice summer dress does for me every time.
I have news for you, if you think you’re kind of attractive, you’re probably attractive (most people don’t give themself enough credit in the looks dept), so guys are noticing you. I’ve had the thing happen where the girl I liked liked my friend and it sucks, but it doesn’t mean that other guys aren’t noticing you. Just put yourself out there and you should get some attention.
Personally, well kept hair, like you can tell she has taken care of it, well brushed, healthy, good hairstyled hair. Then other things, like she dressing femininely (not gonna lie), and the overall sensation that she takes care of herself. Clean hydrated skin, things like that. Then there are deal breakers that are like imbedded in me and I can't control, like being overweight or having unshaved legs, or a sensation that she is chaos, like having a huge ugly handbag full of junk, or dirty shoes. Idk why really, it just happens.
Good humour, intelligent, witty, pretty face, sorta between 110-150 lbs ish, boobs and butt, some guys like highly extraverted girls some like more introverted girls, most men find women who dress less provocatively more attractive although women who dress in a provocative manner get more attention it's usually with much shorter term "goals".
For me the first thing is the face. It can be one feature on the face (eyes, smile, dimples) but if it’s special that will pull my attention to examine further hopeful to find more things to pull me in further.
The way she types (I call it a “typing style”. It’s just the way they text you. A unique one is so fucking cute). The odd little passions and things she loves. Her way of expressing how much she cares. Loving things not because it makes her “quirky” but because she genuinely loves them. Doesn’t expect you to be as masculine as the doom slayer. Confidence, not so much that it’s over confidence but enough that they can try new things and aren’t afraid to fail a bit (which don’t worry, as someone with constant self esteem issues, I know how hard this one can be to achieve).

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"Abusive Behaviors" by Alex

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You ask me the most interesting questions and the truth is that your questions are intriguing and capture my imagination which keeps me coming back. Please keep sending me your questions.❤️

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When I was young and naive, I felt hurt when people did not like me, but by the time I entered high school, I did not care what people thought about me. And asking people why they hated me was like asking a thief if he stole money from my wallet. Most people are going to tell you what they think you want to hear. So why bother asking? What's the point? I do not like dishonest people and I do not have the patience to listen to their bullshit.

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Your last sentence, when you mention people with issues project them onto you is really the description of a bully and to some extent a person who abuses alcohol or drugs. Instead of confronting their demons they project their insecurities onto you and in a sense attempt to blame you for their problems. For 30 years I had to deal with an abusive mother who behaved like this. She was abused as a young girl and as an adult she abused her own children. Was there ever any explanation given or apology rendered because of the abuse? No...never. In fact, people who behave like this and project their fear, hatred and insecurities onto other people seldom, if ever, show any remorse or contrition. They behave as though the abuse never occurred and if it did, it is always the victims fault.

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Oh I could write a book about this type of abusive behavior. But I suspect that what you really want to know is how to avoid or manage such behavior. You must first admit that you are not the problem, you are the victim. Next, you need to establish personal boundaries. This is where you take control of your own life and decide what behaviors you will not accept and how you will react when such abuses occur. My trick was to always have a plan (A) and a plan (B). And... always have an exit plan. Also, when forced to deal with difficult personalities, set time limits. Two hours was the maximum time I could be around my mother, but if I had to leave after 30 minutes, I would invent an excuse I quickly depart.

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What is important is to not enable or feed into the abusive behaviors because then it escalates and the situation can get ugly. Plus family members who sympathize with the abuser will gang up on you and it becomes a feeding frenzy. So set your boundaries and enforce them no matter what anyone says or does. It's your life and nobody has a right to treat you with disrespect or with malice or contempt! You fight for your rights and for your rightful place in this world!! And if people don't like it, you give them a piece of your mind and walk out holding your head high without any regret.

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Sorry for the rant; but, when I write about these things terrible memories bubble up to the surface. Contact me at any time if you need to talk.❤️

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No.
Why would anyone think like this?

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To think like this is a self-fulfilling prophecy that guarantees that you will not only fail, but you will completely self destruct and become both dependent upon the good will of others and forever be a noncontributing member of society and a burden to family and friends.

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Unfortunately, I have known people like this and their negativity, anxiety, constant depression persistent need for attention, is not only unhealthy, but venomous. I require peace and solitude in order to write and create music, and such clinking, clanking, clattering, collections of cartilaginous junk, inhibits my creativity and results in my depression rearing it's unforgiving and ugly head to the point where I become a nonfunctioning babbling idiot incapable of concentrating or setting goals that provide me with inspiration and meaning. In other words, people who see their life as tragic and without meaning, literally suck the life out of everyone they come in contact with. Their negative behaviors create a terrible state of affairs because they reduce everyone to the lowest common denominator, thus creating a black hole that is inescapable to all who dare enter.

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Great question, but because I've been out of the dating scene for so long and do not frequent places where single people hang out I can only repeat what my co-worker who is single tells me almost every day. He tells me that many single women today are mostly interested in wealthy men who can give them a better life even if there are single men with better personalities who treat them with kindness and respect but they are financially poor. I do not know if this is true or not but if it is, that might explain the "ugly people thing" you are referring to in your question.

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I live in Florida where there are many older men who are financially well off in Miami and in the Tampa Bay area where I live and hang out. Based upon my own personal observations I have seen many young women between the age of 20 and 30 dating men who are between 40 and 60 years old. These older men are typically in good physical shape and they drive very expensive cars which is indicative of wealth.

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My 29 year old friend tells me that he believes that many young women between 20 - 30 have given up on men his age and essentially ignore them, at least this is how he perceives his situation. He also tells me that he finds it difficult to even find a woman in his age group who will talk to him. Now in all fairness he is a video game junky and I've have read that young women are not interested in immature men who play video games all day long and they prefer men who will wine and dine them and take them on vacations, to concerts and who have the means to show them a good time. In other words young women want what most women want, a serious man who is well educated and fun to be around. Sorry guys, but that eliminates you gamers who love video games more than females.

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Summary: I don't know who is correct. I think that young women are correct when they complain that young men between 20 - 30 are very immature and are more interested in video games than in having a meaningful relationship with young women. And if that is true, and I am not saying it is, then it makes sense that young women prefer older men, because what other choice do they have? Dating a immature man-boy who is addicted to video games or dating a man twice their age who treats them like a lady and has the financial resources to have fun and show them a great time?

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I don't know.... you decide.

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I'll give it a crack in german for once I suppose!

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Das wichtigste Ziel für diesen Sommer ist vermutlich die "großen" Fragen des Promotionsprojektes zu klären. Einige Sachen stehen schon, einige Grundlagen sind gelegt und die schemenhaften Umrisse eines Typsystems bahnen sich an, auch wenn gefühlt jeder zweiter Tag daraus besteht, sich Gegenbeispiele zu überlegen, wieso es so nicht gehen kann. A special kind of fun.

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Das ist irgendwie wichtig, um nicht in einen Dauerzustand der Panik reinzugeraten. Weil wenn man den erstmal erreicht hat, kommen auch keine guten Ideen mehr.
Das ist irgendwie noch wichtiger, weil wenn irgendwas schonmal läuft, kann man Paper einreichen, und irgendwie die vorzeigbare Quote erreichen, mit der die Deutsche Forschungsgemeinschaft dann zufrieden ist.

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Plus es eilt irgendwie, einer der smartesten Personen aller Zeiten verlässt den Lehrstuhl. Ich bin nicht der Einzige Doktorand der zittert!

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Jedoch viel wichtiger ist der Post-Covid Reboot meiner typischen sozialen Kreise. Ich bin sehr auf der extrovertierten Seite angesiedelt, und ich bin froh das alles langsam wieder aufwacht. Leute erscheinen aus der Senke, die meisten Wochenenden sind endlich wieder verplant mit persönlichen Treffen mit oder ohne längeren Trips in andere Städte. Es gibt wieder Night-Life, und ich kann die Lichter wieder genießen. Das Vorhaben/Ziel ist es wieder den selben Zustand wie vor der Pandemie zu erreichen.

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Ich hätte gerne meine zwei Jahre zurück, aber wenn ich das schon nicht haben kann, dann möchte ich zumindest soweit möglich meinen Lifestyle zurück. Und als erster Schritt ist Cocktailbar und K-Pop Party in relativ großer Gruppe ziemlich gut, zumindest ein Ziel was aktiv direkt kommendes Wochenende in Bearbeitung geht.

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Hmm. Yeah. This text reads ugly. Sighhh.

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