I think that's a weird question. Falling in love on the one hand seems selfish because it's seen as lovey dovey and perfect and ideal and romantic and fun. Yet to be loved seems selfish and very one-sided, and doesn't address how you actually feel or what you do for that other person. I think both need to be present - it needs to be mutual, not unrequited. You should love them and they should love you. If one of those is missing, then it's not a real/good/healthy relationship.