Ask @transadvocate:

Hello, I am 15 and I want to become a politician . I am very into politics . The thing is that I also want to climb up the political ladder and hopefully one day become president . Beware this is like 30-40 years from now . So my question is do I thrive to become president or give up ? I am a TWOC

I think politics is less about who you are and more about how well one's political office machinery is able to spin BS effectively. Holding high office is, in many ways, about craven showmanship. Whoever controls the beltway narrative gets to define pop culture's 2 second attention span.

View more

What do you think about 'gender critical' trans people?

I am a young transgender. I will be transitioning this month. The thing is I am a trans girls of color. I live in Houston Texas . I'm asking for some help to me coping with the teasing/bullying I will receive. I am also just now entering high school. Next year I will be a 9th grader. Please help..

Fortunately, your covered under HISD's trans-inclusive nondiscrimination policy. In Houston, that means that trans kids *must* be able to transition and enjoy a school environment free of anti-trans harassment and bullying. Additionally, several schools have a GSAs. The Montrose Center in Houston has a queer and trans youth group that you might want to check out:

View more

Why do so many people seemingly take actual pleasure in others' suffering?

I don't fully understand the struggles of people who have gender identity questions, but I believe in respecting the basic humanity of everyone to discover and be who they are. Is that enough to be an advocate?

Being an advocate implies action. That action can mean big stuff like lobbying and marching in protests, but it can also mean saying something when a friend is being transphobic. As long as you're willing to be engaged in whatever way is appropriate for you, you're a trans advocate :)

View more

Why is Gia getting destroyed for pointing out that male/female/intersex isn't (and shouldn't have to be) men/women? She has never said transwomen aren't women, just not female. That is not radical. It is true. She is getting treated disgustingly.

Because asserting that the human body *is* its sex attributes is gender. There's a difference between saying that a person has XX chromosomes and saying that a body is its chromosomes. Sexing the body *is* a performance of gender. Sex attributes exist as a physical phenomena; how we contextualize that physical phenomena, apply that to human bodies, create norms, taboos and penalties around labels - both personally and within society - *is* gender. Understand, there is a difference between how you contextualize a body and that body. Your understanding only exists in your head, regardless of what combination of sex attributes a body might have.
She's getting shit because in one breath she says that the labels and usage norms around those labels we use to contextualize sex is gender but the labels and usage norms around the binary labeling system she uses to contextualize sex isn't gender.
She's appealing to essentialism. When you hear an anti-trans group assert that because our genes/chromosomes (terms usually mistakenly used interchangeably) make a body male or female, trans people therefore remain the sex they were assigned at birth, they are appealing to a constructed concept of the body. Genotype refers to the genes of a person and many TERFs appeal to this as an essential sexed substance to advance a system of behavioral norms.
Leaving aside the fact that one can go from having XY chromosomes to XX chromosomes, the appeal to genes/chromosomes as a male or female essence that if present, defines a human body in our culture, is an appeal to essentialism. The presence of this a male essence means that the human body in question is itself male and that the (now male) body and society alike must now regard it in a certain way or face certain social consequences.
When you hear an anti-trans group assert that because what is taken to be an acceptably long phallus was discovered at birth, a male sex was established and therefore cannot be changed, they are appealing to a fallaciously constructed concept of phenotype permanence. If a baby is born with a phallus - the phallus being the essence of a man - the infant is said to have been born a man. Like appeals to genotype, this essence is regarded as an ever-enduring locus from which a human body drives linguistic currency in our social system. If an AIS or trans woman has vaginoplasty, a TERF will assert that their sex phenotype has not changed because to admit this change is to admit that a body's sex attributes can change.
In biology, phenotype is expected to change via genetic and non-genetic forces during one's lifetime. This view of phenotype is frowned upon by TERFs. In the Segen's Medical Dictionary, sex reassignment is defined as, "The constellation of surgical and medical therapies intended to physically change a person from one sexual phenotype to another."
She's obtusely appealing to a standard she claims to reject: the gender binary is false; the MAAB/FAAB binary is tots real.

View more

On average, 1 in how many people are transgender?

Conron, K.J, et. al (2011), USA (Mass.) gathered data via phone surveys. They found a prevalence rate of 1:200 MTF. (n=28,000)
Horton, M.A. (2008), USA gathered data in 2001. Surveying SRS surgeons on how many surgeries they did each year. She found a prevalence rate of 1:750 MTF.
Conway, L. (2001), USA gathered data in 2001. Reviewing the number of surgeries performing SRS. She found a prevalence rate of 1:1500 MTF (between 1:250 - 1:2500).
Veale, J. (2008), New Zealand gathered data in 2008 by reviewing people who changed gender markers on New Zealand passport.She found a prevalence rate of 1:3,639 MTF. (n=385)
Wilson, Sharp, & Carr (1999), Scotland gathered data in 1998. Their data was based on counting the number of people with DX of Gender Dysphoria. They found a prevalence rate of 1:7,400 MTF
Bakker, van Kesteren, Gooren, & Bezemer (1993), Netherlands gathered data from 1986-1990. Their data was based on the number who received hormone therapy. They found a prevalence rate of 1:11,900 MTF
Wilson, Sharp, & Carr (1999), Scotland gathered data in 1998. They used another measurement: counting number who received hormone therapy and/or SRS . This time, they found a prevalence rate of 1:12,800 MTF
... and it goes up from there.

View more

Do you have any tips to releasing some of the stress from dysphoria and anxiety?

Vipassana helps for some, being more kinetic with your experience (walking, running, painting, etc) works for others.

View more

How do you tell if you have Gender dysphoria or are just confused?

Go to mixed trans meetings. Talk to a lot of different types of trans people because there's a lot of different ways of being trans.
Also, get a good therapist who has worked with trans folks for years, journal, take up a practice of contemplation and do a lot of hard looking at yourself and talk with safe people.
BTW, the "just confused" thing is a BS cis-phrased judgement. You are where you are, period. Instead of judging yourself and thinking that you must have an ultimate answer now, take your time and do the work of getting to know who you really are. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the support you need to know really who you really are.

View more

What makes you smile?

Dawn Henderson
Improving the quality of life for trans people.

View more

WTF is wrong with the world?

People get confused about where happiness comes from.

View more

division. we have mtf trans players but are dealing with someone who is FTM and wants to play in our division. They prefer playing with women than men so the open league isnt what they want to play in. What are your thoughts on this? Should we allow them? Or would it be cont.

I tend to not be a fan of gender divisions in the first place; I think it's silly and patriarchal. Instead, I tend to support sport models based on weight/height division/classes instead of arbitrary systems that can't deal with trans and/or intersex people.
Having said that, the horses are out to the barn so to speak and you have a gendered system you're trying to make work which means there's some assumptions built into the system. You can now choose to be ridged about the gender system you have or you can be flexible. A rigid system would assert that only ABC-identified people can play here and XYZ-identified people can play there. A more flexible system will realize that depending on where someone is in their transition, some players choose to stay - or move on - depending upon their own comfort level. A FTM played women's basketball and a MTF played men's soccer. However, the point is that it was *their* choice.

View more

I can't say I approve but I understand this is a different generation and a different time So if you want to marry The Moon you have my blessing Son.

Marriage equality is about the 14th amendment. Civil marriage is a contract and isn't religious ceremony - which is why the government issues marriage contracts (AKA, marriage licenses). The 14th amendment's Due Process Clause guarantees equality in for all citizens wishing to enter into a contract. I'm glad that you have come to support the 14th amendment for all, and while I'm not the biggest supporter of marriage contracts in principle, if folks want to contractually tie each other together, I'm going to support their right to do so.

View more

Can you recommend any resources for dating a person who identifies as genderqueer/ genderfluid? I really want to be a supportive partner, but don't really know where to start.

Here are some answers from the TransAdvocate community:
[there isn't really advice except: listen. don't change at all unless they ask you to. treat them exactly the same as you normally have. tell them if they ever need to talk, you're there for them, but don't badger them or pester them too much with questions, unless you're pretty sure they'd be cool with it. if you hurt their feelings, let them be hurt and let them know you're willing to listen and want to understand what you did. also, subscribe to this subreddit:]
[Support them no matter what.]
[Follow general dating rules + be a good ally like you would normally.
I think what you are really asking for is tips on being an ally in general.]
[I was concerned about my mis-statements (such as my generically used "you guys," which can be highly offensive. My sweet partner was not really concerned, but I felt I had a responsibility to tighten up. I was able to get my bearings at one PFLAG meeting and a few meetings of a partner-of-trans group (connected with Howard Brown Center in Chicago). It was basically coffee with friends. Small community, so be sure to maintain privacy. Made some friends and political allies. Easy to start a small coffee group....]
[As a genderfluid person, I think the best thing would be to be supportive, use the correct pronouns and just be respectful of their identity and their gender expression.]
[Just be yourself and enjoy each other.]
[Your partner is the best resource you could ever have for being a good ally to them.]
[As a genderqueer I have certain things that just set me off. I don't bite my tongue upon those things. When they are said...I ask politely one time to not use them. Then I remind them less politely NOT to use them]
[search "genderqueer" "genderfluid" "non-binary" "GQ" "GF" "nb" on tumblr.
follow tumblr blogs of gq, gf or non-binary people.]
[Be respectful and understanding. Coming out as gender-fluid is tough because so few people understand it. The best thing to do is ask what pronoun the person would like to be called and then use it. That's a little gesture that can go a LONG way.]
[Love your partner as an individual, and don't use a scale of manliness or womanliness to judge them.]
[Gender Fluidity is pretty unique in that identity changes as well as expression, so how to address the person changes (or not depending on the person). Ambiguous bodies can be a reality with GQ or Gender Fluid people, so sex is unique. It all boils down to educating yourself on forums and sites that are being recommended. Also, not all Gender Fluid people experience their gender the same, so be sure to understand your partner in and out (pun not intended).]
Hope that helps!

View more

I've pondered the possibility of transitioning many times throughout my life. I've come to a place where I've realized that I don't entirely identify as either female or male. Would I still be considered trans? How do I refer to myself in regards to gender? What if I want just top surgery?

Those are answers that should be between you, your trans-positive therapist and your doctor. The internet is not the place to find those answers.
When one does any type of transition, it's a bit like taking your home and turning it upside-down and shaking it. YOU will have to go through it all and decide what's BS and needs to go and what's authentic and needs to stay.

View more

I am a lesbian and I find people calling me transphobic because I will not date transmen. I will (and have) date a transwoman, so I am confused with the transphobic label. Can you help explain this at all?

Yeah, I don't know why it would be transphobic. People like what they like.
There is a trans convo around shame, body image and how that shapes beauty standards in a culture that devalues trans people. There's also an intersecting trans convo around the context in which human beings are reduced to walking genitalia. However, neither of those issues seem to be what you're dealing with.
Some folks like to define your experience for you. Don't let them. You love who you love - period. You are a lesbian who loves women and that's not transphobic.

View more

Can he get Transpeople on the list of federally protected people for federal contractors and the general work place? Write a friggin' Executive Order?!

Remember that if you work for a larger employer (generally 15+ employees), you are protected under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. You can file with the EEOC if you face discrimination.
However, I agree; it would be good if we had an EO covering even small employers who are getting federal funding.

View more

Hi Doll!! I must say I love you and all the work you are doing!!!!! I am writing from Canada and wondering if you could share with your readers some help we are seeking for support of sex workers here in Canada both Gender Variant and not? A government survey; please!!?? They can respond to the

Sure, send us the survey!

View more

why dont you take bitcoin tips on your website. I'd tip (a small amount), but i hate paypal and wont have an account with them.

Do you know of a BC API that would facilitate this?

View more

I'm pre-transition (neutrois) and have always been scared of making friends because there's always been someone in the group who wants my female body, which sets off my dysphoria. How do I stop them from doing this?

Basically, I've handled it in the same way I've handled PTSD. From what I've seen, working with GD like one might work with PTSD helps. Judging yourself won't help. Be compassionate with yourself. Part of that is honoring what your limits are, having boundaries and engage in self-care.
For me, working with either PTSD or GD looked like learning to be aware of what was going on emotionally inside my body. I took up a practice of vipassana because I found that trying to force PTSD or GD to be something other than what it is makes everything worse. Some do well with meditation while others connect to their body states in a more kinetic way (running, painting, etc). The point is that as I learned the contours of my pain, the less it seemed to be an enemy. As the relationship with my pain became less adversarial, the more I was able to tolerate, understand and work with it.
For me, I was never able to command myself to feel differently - especially with something as visceral as PTSD or GD. I found that a great deal of my suffering was caused by my unskillful strategy of trying to force myself to somehow feel different. There's the stress of the what if stories I'd tell myself, the stress of "ugh, I freaking out again. WHY CAN'T I BE NORMAL!?!" and the stress of beating myself up for what I judged as emotional BS.
Letting go of trying to control something like PTSD or GD through force of will and instead honoring the fact that my 'scars' were very real and that they can and do hurt from time to time was a lot like putting down a bag of bricks that I'd been carrying around. GD is part of the trans experience. There's no way around that. For me, self-care looked like being judicious with the people who I chose to invest my time and attention in. I needed to know that they would understand that I really did suffer terribly with GD and that it meant that I had to make accommodations for that reality.
A skillful mental health professional, a support network, learning a way of directly working with GD via meditation, art, exercise, etc, learning boundaries and self-care is what helped me get through transition.

View more

Is it responsible or okay that I've taken a hiatus from trans advocacy? That I'd rather get back to the goal of transitioning rather than stay in the middle and only dwell on my trans issues? Should I get back to correcting people through social media?

Of course! Neglecting yourself while giving to everyone else isn't compassion. The circle of true compassion extends to oneself as well as others. We cannot give from a dry well. The trick is finding balance and honoring the truth of where we're at and what we have the capacity to do.
Trans advocacy is about being conscious of what we do; it's knowing that everyone can do something in a way that is respectful of themselves and of their community. For some, that will look like helping to set up a trans support group. For others, it looks like being there for someone at 3 in the morning because they need to talk to someone who gets it. For others, it might look like lobbying, giving to trans orgs or having a blog.

View more

Are there any romantic films you recommend with transfolk in them?

I'm probably not the right person to ask. I'm not a fan of romantic movies of any flavor. I tend to be repulsed by the codependency worship and 'save-me' rhetoric generally found in many romantic films/books. I will instead defer to others.
Anyone know of a romance film that you'd recommend?

View more

I'm legally male and recently had a hysterectomy. My insurance is declining it because I'm male. The doctor's office told me to (get this) change my gender to F so they can get paid. I won't. But now I'm being held responsible for the bill. How do I go about this?

Appeal and keep appealing. The ACA states that you cannot be discriminated against. Cite the ACA and, if you need, file complaints with your state insurance board and since HHS oversees the implication of the ACA, you can also contact them:

View more

Do you think it's possible to have sex-neutral housing in higher education institutions without having cisheterosexual couples using it as a reason to co-habitate? Can you envision a policy that protects the diversity of gender identity in housing? My college does interviews, but that seems intrusiv

Sure. I would first call up HUD and ask them to point you to some best practices that shelters and housing programs use.

View more

How can a bi trans woman like myself find an understanding, loving female partner? I’m afraid to go to lesbian bars and the like for fear of running into TERFs. Dating sites have been no help; I’ve even tried both disclosing and withholding my trans status in my profile. Anything else I could try?

  • 72
  • 80

About transadvocate:

The trans agenda 2.0 #no2h8splc