Caught a convo I'd like to ask you about. The 2 were talking about how they didn't like wearing dresses all that much. It sparked something in me. Why is it that (at least my) 'transness' is questioned if I'm not in a dress/skirt? Is it the 'bathroom rapist' lie? 'You wanted 2b a woman, prove it?'
I ride a big Harley, wear army boots way too much, am heavily tattooed and I almost never wear makeup. I can't remember the last time I wore a dress. My transition wasn't about my body. I was never a cultural woman 'trapped in a man's body;' rather, my innate subjective experience of my body's sex was and is female.
There are some things that I do that are deemed female in our culture and I do it because I like it and not because I want to meet any standard of "realness." There are things that I do that are deemed male in our culture and I do it not because I'm trying to make some political statement; I do it because I like it.
Gender masks are BS. I transitioned to be comfortable in my own skin and so that I could give up lying to people about who I am. I transitioned because the taste of personal liberation is sweet.I transitioned because I couldn't live another day living a life of dishonesty, aversion and fear.
Having said all of that, I do understand what you mean. I was raped not too long ago and a couple of people reacted with the "well, this is what you wanted" shtick. At the same time, I was afraid of going to the Women's Center for help because I thought I might encounter a TERF who would exercise their need to be cruel on me when I was at my most vulnerable. I thought that maybe I should pretend to be more fem and lie about being trans when I went to the Women's Center. In the end, I rode my Harley up to the Center and was truthful because to do otherwise was to let the trauma take one more piece of myself.
All I know is that it hurts to lie about who I am. It hurts to pretend, to occupy and operate a persona in the day to day world instead of meeting the world with my feet firmly rooted in my authentic truth - my authentic self. I can't help but balk at systems that try to contort who I am into a more "accepted" shadow of myself.
There are some things that I do that are deemed female in our culture and I do it because I like it and not because I want to meet any standard of "realness." There are things that I do that are deemed male in our culture and I do it not because I'm trying to make some political statement; I do it because I like it.
Gender masks are BS. I transitioned to be comfortable in my own skin and so that I could give up lying to people about who I am. I transitioned because the taste of personal liberation is sweet.I transitioned because I couldn't live another day living a life of dishonesty, aversion and fear.
Having said all of that, I do understand what you mean. I was raped not too long ago and a couple of people reacted with the "well, this is what you wanted" shtick. At the same time, I was afraid of going to the Women's Center for help because I thought I might encounter a TERF who would exercise their need to be cruel on me when I was at my most vulnerable. I thought that maybe I should pretend to be more fem and lie about being trans when I went to the Women's Center. In the end, I rode my Harley up to the Center and was truthful because to do otherwise was to let the trauma take one more piece of myself.
All I know is that it hurts to lie about who I am. It hurts to pretend, to occupy and operate a persona in the day to day world instead of meeting the world with my feet firmly rooted in my authentic truth - my authentic self. I can't help but balk at systems that try to contort who I am into a more "accepted" shadow of myself.
Liked by:
JT
Dean Alexander
Blake Croissant