Can you recommend any resources for dating a person who identifies as genderqueer/ genderfluid? I really want to be a supportive partner, but don't really know where to start.
Here are some answers from the TransAdvocate community:
[there isn't really advice except: listen. don't change at all unless they ask you to. treat them exactly the same as you normally have. tell them if they ever need to talk, you're there for them, but don't badger them or pester them too much with questions, unless you're pretty sure they'd be cool with it. if you hurt their feelings, let them be hurt and let them know you're willing to listen and want to understand what you did. also, subscribe to this subreddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans]
[Support them no matter what.]
[Follow general dating rules + be a good ally like you would normally.
I think what you are really asking for is tips on being an ally in general.
[I was concerned about my mis-statements (such as my generically used "you guys," which can be highly offensive. My sweet partner was not really concerned, but I felt I had a responsibility to tighten up. I was able to get my bearings at one PFLAG meeting and a few meetings of a partner-of-trans group (connected with Howard Brown Center in Chicago). It was basically coffee with friends. Small community, so be sure to maintain privacy. Made some friends and political allies. Easy to start a small coffee group....]
[As a genderfluid person, I think the best thing would be to be supportive, use the correct pronouns and just be respectful of their identity and their gender expression.]
[Just be yourself and enjoy each other.]
[Your partner is the best resource you could ever have for being a good ally to them.]
[As a genderqueer I have certain things that just set me off. I don't bite my tongue upon those things. When they are said...I ask politely one time to not use them. Then I remind them less politely NOT to use them]
[search "genderqueer" "genderfluid" "non-binary" "GQ" "GF" "nb" on tumblr.
follow tumblr blogs of gq, gf or non-binary people.]
[Be respectful and understanding. Coming out as gender-fluid is tough because so few people understand it. The best thing to do is ask what pronoun the person would like to be called and then use it. That's a little gesture that can go a LONG way.]
[Love your partner as an individual, and don't use a scale of manliness or womanliness to judge them.]
[Gender Fluidity is pretty unique in that identity changes as well as expression, so how to address the person changes (or not depending on the person). Ambiguous bodies can be a reality with GQ or Gender Fluid people, so sex is unique. It all boils down to educating yourself on forums and sites that are being recommended. Also, not all Gender Fluid people experience their gender the same, so be sure to understand your partner in and out (pun not intended).]
Hope that helps!