I am a lesbian and I find people calling me transphobic because I will not date transmen. I will (and have) date a transwoman, so I am confused with the transphobic label. Can you help explain this at all?

Yeah, I don't know why it would be transphobic. People like what they like.
There is a trans convo around shame, body image and how that shapes beauty standards in a culture that devalues trans people. There's also an intersecting trans convo around the context in which human beings are reduced to walking genitalia. However, neither of those issues seem to be what you're dealing with.
Some folks like to define your experience for you. Don't let them. You love who you love - period. You are a lesbian who loves women and that's not transphobic.

View more