@Holz105

Holly Elizabeth

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did you mean in your vid about recovering, that people who get help to eating disorders are getting fat automaticly in recovery? sorry im foreigner so i think i didn't just quite undestand the point :|

No not in the slightest! Recovery very very rarely results in becoming 'fat' or overweight. However to someone with an eating disorder their self perception is so warped that weight gain is a terrifying concept. They already see themselves as too big so to gain any weight feels unacceptable and utterly terrifying. It's an irrational fear that so many suffers have, that they will eat and get fat. Or they won't be able to stop eating so will end up obese.
I was referring to the irrational thought process pertaining to recovery rather than the reality of recovery.

Hi Holly, i wanted to ask how much of a struggle was it to lose those extra pounds after you had a baby? i myself have suffered an eating disorder and am wanting to lose my bloated stomach but it wont seem to go away! it still looks like I'm pregnant. i think its due to hormones? any ideas?

For me I lost so much weight while I was pregnant through being incredibly unwell that by the time I gave birth I weighed less than I did pre pregnancy.
However my body has never been the same and I think it would be a challenge to get it to resemble even something similar to what it was.
Hormones can definitely factor into your stomach not going down, as can your diet and the exercise you do. However if you're really concerned about it is recommend going to your doctor and discussing the possibility of diastasis recti.
It's a condition where your muscles in your torso fail to knit back together post birth.
I think it's worth exploring all the possible causes and experimenting with different ways of eating and exercising. ?

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VacaDelEspacio’s Profile Photo Mimi Solo
Summerlol

Hi Holly, I´m Anorexia for 13 years and I have a son. He´s two and a half years. I want to loose waight, but I know it is not right. I´m also looking for a therapist, but (maybe it sounds weird) I feel like I´m not ready. I dont really now what to do. I´m so confiuse, and feel guilty. Greets Germany

Faay13’s Profile PhotoFaay13
I completely understand where you're coming from with this. Becoming a parent really changed you and your stance on life, however eating disorders don't just disappear when you become a parent. As ever it's still important that you move at a safe pace not committing to something you're really unwilling to see through. I think it's important to get help when you're ready (and to work on being ready rather than just letting yourself decline) because I think that feeling pressured into something is generally never a good thing and makes any possible relapses so much worse because anger and resentment at other people comes out.
Continue to be an amazing mother to your son and work towards your goal of health.
Your eating disorder doesn't define you, letting go of it doesn't mean you will lose who you are.
Getting a therapist is a really good start even if they aren't eating disorder focused.
Keep going on the path of getting help ?

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My therapist thinks that I should consider taking pictures of myself to try and help with my body image issues. I hate taking pics. Do you think it helps though im not sure I hate mirrors how the heck do I freeze that image and have to look at it. If you can give some advice to overcome this fear id

Taking pictures really helped me, I started taking them after my positivity mirror confirmations failed miserably.
Personally I like pictures because I can take them in good lighting and pose in a way that looks flattering. I completely accept that I don't look that way 99% of the time but it does help immeasurably to know that I can look like that.
Take your photos in good lighting depending on what you feel that is, I prefer either bright day light or something that creates shadows. Then start taking them laying down and stretching out, play around with moving your body creating shapes and curves and try not to take it too seriously..
I really hope it helps my dear ❤️❤️

Cont..

Holz105’s Profile PhotoHolly Elizabeth
Get nutrients they can become a crutch. I definitely used juices and smoothies as a way to avoid eating for a long time before I got proper treatment.
If you're worried about your daughter Id definitely seek professional help, sometimes things we think might help can make things so much worse.
I definitely think it's important to be as understanding and supportive as possible and I think it's amazing that you're looking into possibilities to help her with food. But also remember that people who suffer from eating disorders are not rational and will often abuse the understanding, well meaning help they're given and use it to further their weight loss.
I really hope she finds a healthy path to follow, all the best x
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Greetings! New fan here. my daughter struggles with some of the same issues you talk about so, there's that. But my question is, what are your thoughts on "juicing"? IMHO, it's a good way to get nutrients into someone who is resistant to eating food/meals.

I'm apprehensive about juicing because while it is an amazing way to

I know this question has nothing to do with ED, but where do you find Dylan's sneakers? I've had a hard time finding anything relatively stylish

I get most of them from Schuh and Office and some from JD

3. also how antidepressants make you feel (If you’ve taken them before). I hope thats not too personal of a question and I understand if it is! I really appreciate your help:)

I think it's slightly different for me as j have borderline personality disorder so I often swing between manic and depressive stages. My experience with anti depressants have been varied, low doses helped when I was younger for short periods of time but taking them generally results in me having a long term manic episode.
I 100% believe that if you're suffering from depression either long or short term medication is something you deserve to look into. Anything that can help lift the fog and help you begin to experience life properly again is 100% worth it.

2. there is absolutely nothing in the entire world that I want, like if I try to consider options for how to spend the coming summer or the following year, theres nothing I can think of that I would care about whatsoever. I wanted to ask if you experience a similar feeling with your depression, and

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1. Hi Holly, I think I might see someone and ask to go on antidepressants. I'm in a constant flat mood and at lows I feel like I can't do anything at all, like schoolwork or really anything, or be around other people because for some reason that takes huuuuge amounts of energy. I also feel like

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do you think full recovery from anorexia is possible? Im so deep in self hatred for myself that I can't fathom living without it but I know I don't want to be this way forever. Ive been through many ways of treatment and I just relapse over and over its sad and I feel like a total failure,

I definitely think so, there are so many people who have absolutely recovered that I can't deny its possible.
But I think it's an extremely long journey and it takes a lot of dedication to pick yourself up and try again after each relapse.
I feel much like you do, it feels so far away and almost impossible but I truly believe that not wanting to be like this forever makes all the difference. It means that were always striving for something more and in the long run its the small steps that sometimes count the most.

how do you feel about people using you as thinspo

I feel really uncomfortable and quiet violated. I've spoken so much about how my eating disorder nearly killed me and the long term damage I've done to my body and it upsets me that people would then use my image to promote this illness and as inspiration to lose weight.
Thinspo isn't ok.

So, it was falling out, despite me eating almost 1,700 cals a day, which wasn't easy to begin with. It's still falling out, and I know my body is still building itself back up. What can I do to help it from not falling out so fast? what foods can I eat that will strengthen it?

Unfortunately while your body repairs itself it'll all be a little bit out of wack.
I take supplements that have really helped with my hair. Namely biotin and folic acid.
Also making sure you have omega3 so through fish (if you eat it) or flaxseed, you can either add that to your food or get the oil in capsules. I've also found iron and zinc help with hair loss and helping it grow back faster and stronger xx

This is going to be a bit of a long message, but I need some help. So, back in March of 2014, I started binging, purging and fasting everyday. This lasted for 7 months, and fortunately I got help in September. In mid December, my hair began to fall out at a rapid pace (continued) ~

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Liked by: Heather

how does harrison feel about you posting nudes? <3 i wish i could post some since i just got a boob job<3 :) but Im afraid to tell my bf because he is a little conservative. do you have any tips how i could win that argument?

I don't really know. His opinion on what I do seems to change with his moods so I lose track.
I think you should do it, talk to him and compromise. While you may want to respect his boundaries he also needs to respect your freedom and your ownership of your body.

Miss your blog

I'm not sure which one you're referring to but I'm slowly getting back into posting now so hopefully I'll be blogging again in some form soon.

oh since when do you post nudes? i only have you at insta so i just saw them, always love your pics! are you interested in a nude and aesthetic photoshoot in london? marie j.

I've posted nude photos on my Tumblr on and off for a few years but tend to avoid posting anything like that on Instagram because my family follow me and it's just too awkward.
Feel free to drop me an email about that and we can talk about it :)
Hollie.beth@ymail.com

How did you get your amaaaazing hair? it looks SO good on you? is it a full head weave? with closure?

I'm super lucky, two of my best friends are hair goddesses and give me great advice. To dye my hair I stripped it twice, bleached it and then toned it till it was white and I use manic panic to dye it.
And I have weave.. But sadly I'm not well versed in weave terminology so I can't tell you exactly what I have. :)

Is that new guy on instrwgm your boyfriend now

No. That's Stef. He's an amazing old friend. Nothing more though.

Are you still with Harrison?

I've been asked about Harrison quite a lot both here and on tumblr and I keep ignoring the questions.
Basically I just don't want to talk about him and what's going on between us.
This seems standoffish and it probably is but I don't really know however to put it. Sorry x

Hi Holly! It's me again. Thanks for answering my previous question. I have another one. Is there a way to combine excercize and eating to maintain the weight I have now after restricting? I'm already at a healthy weight. I never got gaunt anorexic before. I just restricted. my weight is fluctuating.

Completely honestly my answer would be yes, but only if you were to over exercise which is just as unhealthy as restricting. And in some cases worse given the damage that has inevitably happened to your body due to your anorexia.
The good thing about eating right and exercising properly is that the majority of the weight you'll gain will be muscle. Weight gain doesn't have to be scary although I know it's overwhelming. Recently I had a period of time where I started refeeding. I was eating well over 2000 calories a day of whole and natural foods and exercising for now more than an hour a day. Yoga and using the TRX are my favourite methods of exercise as they're both centred around using your body weight and I find yoga so beneficial to my emotional and psychological wellbeing as well. I gained about 7lbs over a 3(ish) month period but I didn't gain an inch. All the weight I gained was muscle. It was the first time that I had ever used exercise in a healthy way, not abusing it, over exercising or exercising late into the night with the intention of burning off everything I had consumed and for the first time my body responded positively to what I was doing.
My point with this is that if you treat your body kindly and nourish it, it will flourish.
Find an form of exercise that benefits you in more ways than a way to balance your food. Find something that calms you and allows you to strengthen both your body and your mind.
Playing a constant numbers game with calories in and out and the number on the scale will keep you anxious and unhappy.
I know it's hard to let go. Despite everything I've written which is completely truthful I still struggle with maintaining that mindset and have slipped back into eating less than I should and in turn having to decrease the amount of strength work that I do. But it's about trying, learning and adjusting.
Starting to let go of the notion that numbers are the most important thing is the first step in moving forward.

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Hi holly! I have anorexia since I was 15 I just turned 18 today actually. My bday is January 15, 1997. I really need help. My metabolism is very low. Please help me I'm miserable! I don't want to live like this no more. Could u give me advice on maintaining weight. I don't want to gain weight.

Happy Birthday my love.
Unfortunately I don't have much solid advice. Long term denial of food causes your metabolism to slow down and a slower metabolism generally leads to weight gain when you do start eating again. And in honestly suffering from anorexia tends to lead to you becoming underweight so while I completely understand that the last thing you want to do is gain weight it would probably be beneficial to your health of you did.
However, the types of food you eat will of course have an effect on how your body reacts. I say this a lot but choose nourishment over calories. Whole foods of processed foods. A plate full of veggies for instance may exceed 500 calories but it is easier for your body to digest and use as energy than a 200 calorie diet microwave dinner. The food we decide to put in our body has a huge impact on how our body works and how well t works.
While to an extent weight gain is unavoidable your body will adjust to the refeeding and use the food your give it as energy more efficiently of the food is closer to its natural state.

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