Caitlin Beadles

What they never told me is that pain changes who you are as a person. Pain is such a big part of my life. I expect it to always be there. I can't remember a time when it wasn't. Most of you know that I was in a bad boating accident 5 years ago. The propellers chopped up my left leg, and tore through my muscle, nerves, skin, and the major artery leading to my heart. The metal pole attached to the propeller went through my right leg and broke my femur. I lost all my blood twice and flat lined 4 times. I had over 6,000 stitches in one leg and a rod in the other leg that goes from my hip to my knee. I had multiple blood transfusions and required over 20 units of blood. None of the nerves in my left leg are COMPLETELY repaired, and when I walk too much it swells really big. It's easy for me to get blood clots, as my lung, stomach, and liver had collapsed. Till this day I struggle with pain, body swelling, & the emotional toll of how that one day changed my entire life forever. They were suppose to amputate my leg. They told me I would never be able to walk again. After countless days of physical therapy & hundreds of nights in the hospital I proved them wrong. I have over 15 diseases/ conditions that I have to deal with. I've learned to manage and deal with the pain and deal with the ugly scars on my legs but I will never be the same person that I was before. No one has any idea what it's like to lose what I've lost. it's like Everything I was and all of my plans for the future were robbed from me. What made me myself was taken from me. I lost everything. Everything I worked for, everything I cared about and traded it in for a pain pill that barely works. I stopped making plans for the future bc I had all these plans and there was a disaster and my plans disappeared. I just try to get from sun up to sun down. That's as far into the future as I can handle. Even though I survived most days I wish I didn't. But I have to have faith and trust in God that he has a bigger plan for me that I could ever have for myself. God only gives his biggest battles to his toughest soldiers. But what would you do if the thing that defines who you are was taken away? #WTNTM

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