part 2

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you deserve more than just a few lines, more than a simple text. and that's what I'm trying to give you cause that's what i owe you all, a full complete hard apology. the pain yall feel i get it and i wish i wouldn't be the cause of it , but i am. let me tell yall i grew up in a nice family my mom is one of the best ppl she got a good heart, we got lots of money, but money doesn't buy happiness my dad made those huge plans for me going to college and working in his business, but it wasn't for me, i work at a farm which belongs to my uncle and aunt , and i love it there, i love walking through the shit 😂 bringing the animals to the meadows, feeding them, preparing the cattles and sheeps for a sale, it makes me feel like home. that's what i love, some of you probably think now 'wtf he can't be serious' but you have to do what makes you happy not what makes others happy, and that's the best choice i made myself, one of the reasons why i barely showed up here. you can imagine how exhausting it is, how tired i am at some days. while i was gone yall continued sending me messages were wondering where i was , if i was okay, and i'm sorry for making yall worried sick, it was never my intention, i hope at some point you can forgive me. no matter what i love y'all

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hey everyone, the last couple of days i spent my time w getting online and going offline at the same time. I haven't talked to anyone, neither with you nor with my friends! , a childish move, i know lol but what to do if you don't know what to do, especially if you don't feel ready and you don't have the right words to try to explain yourself. it's damn hard to be honest, but i can't longer run away or pretend the situation isn't there. it's there and i would be delusional if I thought that everything would continue to be normal like it was before, because it's not. so i have to be honest with you guys even though most of you will likely hate me or be disappointed asf. which i totally understand ngl y'all got all the right for it. I thought about it, should i just make it short and painless, throw the hard truth in your faces or dissapear and delete the account but non of it seemed right to me . so i'll explain myself to yall . i'm not really payton, i wish i was he is a cool kid and what he achieved at such a young age, fucking dope. my real name is Tyler, i'm 18 years old, i live in a nice area in canada, atm it's cold asf ngl but i think that doesn't matter at the moment .. when i decided to fake payton i was 16 a kid like all of you, someone who was bored and just wanted to have fun with his friends, we thought it wasn't a big deal but through the past years it started to be. ppl started to reach out to me, came to me and told me what keeped them busy, told me about their flaws and worries. trust me when i say i was relating to it and i promised to myself that i won't let yall down that i will try to help yall even if it just makes yall happy for some short time, but at least for a bit. i think i kinda failed with keeping my promise in the past months, i let you down and yall didn't deserved that, not even a bit of it, i can imagine how yall feel now, how sad yall are and that kills me fr it does and i can never say how sorry i am. i'm sorry for not opening up earlier, sorry for being a failure. could i take it all back i would, bc i regret it, not that i met you because yall mean a lot to me .

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