How would you describe your country in three words?
Fat, free, boobs
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Where is the funniest place you have ever fallen asleep?
At my computer desk. Face down on my laptop
If dogs never existed, which animal would take its place as Man's Best Friend?
Deep fried bacon
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How much would it cost to buy your love?
Whatever a good chicken parm, case of sprite, and pack of bolds costs. You're in.
If you could interview anyone, who would you pick?
Your mom
Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
I like to film and be filmed in porn.
What do men talk about when there are no women around?
Sex. Shitting. Farting.
What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
Internet porn.
Which foreign country do you dislike the most?
Uruguay. Fuck that place.
What kind of movies do you like?
Ones with tons of sex. Stagnetties revenge. Look dat shit up.
Are you a good liar?
Fuck no
What kind of transportation do you use most often?
My penny board. Or my car.
What makes you special?
That my thumbs are awkward. And bumpy. Feels better in buttholes though.
What was the last concert you went to?
Senses fail. Such gold. Real friends. And major league. Never have I went to hard at a concert.
If you were going to do karaoke tonight, what song would you sing?
I'm blue. Eiffel 65. Or whatever.
What are you wearing right now?
Nothing. I'm naked. Dick flopping around and everything.
Would you like to live in another country?
Yeah I've always wanted to live in the Netherlands.
What things do you use every day?
My penis. Ketchup. Lighter. My penis. Toilet paper. Balls.
What do you like watching the most on television?
Porn. HD porn.
What’s your favorite seafood?
I dig smoked salmon.
Where do you think you'll be living five years from now?
Hopefully somewhere with my best friends.
What are you most proud of?
My jeep. She may not run right now. But she's my life.
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
My dog. He's a good listener. But doesn't give good advice.
What does it mean when a man looks at other women when he is with his girlfriend?
That's either these women are more attractive or they have something physically wrong with them.
What are you wearing right now?
Khakis.
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