lol.

once sch started, we kinda stopped talking bc no time & shiz ah but the main reason why I'm doing it is bc I've been starting to have feels for him & i realised that when i started feeling jealous when this girl kept commenting on his pictures & they kept talking & were so easygoing with each other tho they just met & were introduced to each other through a friend. having to witness that made me jealous ((& i admit to that)) when i didn't have a right to be since we weren't anything. what disappointed me was that he knew how i felt towards him bc i told him & along with that, i told him to stop me if he no longer feels the same for me but he was damn casual abt it & said it's all good so i don't needa worry & we keep doing what we've been doing the past month ah. tbh when he said that, i knew i should stop my feelings for him bc firstly, super insincere & secondly, it's not the right time to be in a relationship & have to carry all the burden & heartache just at the start of the year. so throughout the past 2 weeks or so ((yes it's been gog on for v long)) I've been considering if i should totally cut contact so i decided to ask a mutual friend of ours & got some advice & that friend told me to stop as well just in case bc I'm gonna get even more hurt if anything but tbh, i don't feel the same way towards him anymore. i used to be all gooey & happy but ever since that girl has entered his life, he's damn fucked up & i hate his character & personality rn bc it's so gross & i dislike that girl bc ik her personally & she's just so fucking weird & a major slut but ifc he doesn't kow that bc all guys want are tits & ass + sex rite? so i don't see a point in sharing that info with him. he can go ahead & get his heart shattered again & i won't give af. like the way she comments on his pictures??? damn fucking gross & she tries so hard to be someone she's not??? it's just disgusting tbh & now i have a serious dislike for him that he disgusts me so bad also bc he never once thought abt how i feel towards him?? but I'm over it. it was quiet easy to get over those feelings with so much happening in my life rn so I'm gonna let our mutual friend know abt my decision & it's sth I've to make to protect myself bc it's an impt year for me & I'm sure I'll find someone better & someone who deserves my care & love & stays true to himself. I'm only 17. i don't have time for bs called 'love' & if i do find it at 17, it'll be a lesson to learn. i just hope he matures a bit to realise that if he ever brought her home, his dad's gonna kill him bc of the eay she dresses & puts on her make up but boy is he gonna enjoy fucking her. too bad, i love my body more than I'd love anything else. at least ik how to care & love for my body unlike some people:))guys always think that girls are their toys but soz, I'm not an easy girl esp since I'm studying in such a harsh environment, I'm tough person & i can be mean so don't fuck with me or I'll fuck you up real hard somehow.

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hmmmm i guess you can tell him how you feel abt him? like tell him that you don't feel things friends usually feel for each other if you don't wanna be direct BUT make sure your feelings aren't just ec, infatuations, puppy love, admiration or crushes but is legit like him that you wanna date him & you can love him. i guess by telling him how you feel, it seriously depends on how he reacts. he may be alright with it or he may actually unfriend you or even better, he likes you so you both can choose to date. always prepare yourself for the best & worst case scenario & NEVER hope for the maximum best to happen. don't have expectations & high hopes BUT it's always worth a try to confess to someone. it's better to get rejected so that you can move on rather than keeping the feelings to yourself & not knowing what is gonna happen bc sometimes, love will really work in mysterious ways!! I'm no expert abt this but one sided love is common. it takes time & feelings are natural & can't be forced. sometimes, you've really gotta be patient & love will find ways. don't ever force a relationship bc than it's not real ^ true.

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firstly, since when did i ever say we were confirmed gog overseas tgt??? we were just saying maybe end of the year but it depends on WHERE WE STAND. it's just us playing with that idea. secondly, idt it's your business if it's just us both & I'm not worried abt what might happen if we did go overseas tgt. what are you even thinking abt??? my morals are v strong & it shouldn't be your concern but mine. thirdly, my mum knows abt him bc he's sent me home so many times alr & she sees me messaging him almost everyday & we've gone out tgt a lot so it doesn't concern her??? she puts her trust in me & knows that i won't do anything wrong & even if we do go, not like we're gonna go to the US lol no money lah & wherever we go, it'll just be for the weekend that sort & nearby. yes, we aren't even dating now but that doesn't mean we can't do shiz tgt??? you don't need to date to do stuffs like gog overseas. you can do it with your friends. lastly, stop telling me I've changed. yes ik i have. i don't need people to keep telling me that. ik it isn't the best change but I'm definitely happier with this change & how i am rn bc I'm definitely nore carefree & it feels better. stop telling me how disappointed you are with the change in me & move on bc you've no rights to judge when you yourself aren't the same person a year ago. i don't need to be sorry for myself. I'm happy with the way i am now bc at least i think maturely unlike you. if you can't handle the change, pls fuck off & stop being so judgemental abt shiz. go get a bloody life.

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