@MissParkerMarie

Parker Marie

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Have you noticed that whenever transgender women use the term "cis" it's in association with something negative about a person/people? I have and it's getting old. You're getting to be so condescending and bitter, even towards allies.

Then start using the word in a positive way, oh brave anonymous stranger.
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Liked by: Panty Panic Rachel Al2der Krysta Mewes kat haché

As someone in my late 20's/struggling with gender identity, a lot of times the stories of how people came to transition only increase my self doubt because I'm not sure if I fit into them - I feel almost as if I should at times. Would you say that the idea of a common "trans narrative" is damaging?

Ah, yes, the "trans narrative." "I knew since I was 3 years old, I always played with dolls, blah blah blah..." Here's a secret: whether you realize you're trans when you're 5 or 50, you're just as valid as anyone else. For those people who do fall into that narrative? Awesome, good for them. Is that the ONLY narrative? Nope.
We're all individuals, and we may come to the same points through vastly different paths. Don't let a lack of adherence to one person's path stop you from paving your own.
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Liked by: Kat Blake Croissant E.Winter Grey Emmy Marie

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Any tips for aspiring writers?

Find your niche. What makes your writing different than other people who write on the same topic? Find that, amplify it, start churning out pieces.
Writing exercise:
Pick a topic, write 1,000 words. Now, re-write it as 750 words without losing your general point. Now, try to get it down to 500. This is a cool exercise I do every once in a while just to keep my writing focused, not filled with meaningless filler.
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Liked by: Soledad Medrano Adina Blake Croissant Alicia Artemissian

Caught a convo I'd like to ask you about. The 2 were talking about how they didn't like wearing dresses all that much. It sparked something in me. Why is it that (at least my) 'transness' is questioned if I'm not in a dress/skirt? Is it the 'bathroom rapist' lie? 'You wanted 2b a woman, prove it?'

I understand. Honestly, I don't really do the whole "girly-girl, dresses and all pink" thing myself. For a while, I felt like maybe I should want that, but then I realized that it was societal pressures to act and dress a certain way, not how I actually wanted to dress. I eventually just sort of said screw it, decided that I'm most comfortable in scuffed up boots, jeans, and simple tops.
I do understand the pressure to try to fit in or to "prove" your transness or whatever. That stuff sucks, and that's kind of what I'm trying to dismantle through my writing.
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Liked by: RidgeBack Rogue Dean Alexander Blake Croissant wren gayle romano

Do you think that there's an upper limit of what should or shouldn't be covered under the umbrella of "trans healthcare"? I'm not even sure I have a solid opinion of my own, yet. There must be a line somewhere, but... what is it? FFS? Dental modifications? Hair plugs?

taurmaurils’s Profile PhotoKat
Here's the thing: if we create a culture that accepts trans individuals, that embraces us from a young age, the need for the more extensive procedures becomes less and less. Someone who comes out at 10 years old and gets on puberty blockers is less likely to need ffs, breast augmentation, etc.
Basically, we need to start treating puberty blockers as what they are: preventative care.
I don't believe in limits to coverage, especially in regards to trans care. You could throw in every imaginable transition related procedure and still be less expensive than treatment of heart disease or cancer.
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Liked by: Panty Panic tenearthimps Marti Abernathey Kat

Cis people don't really have an opportunity to use the word "cisgender". Straight people don't use the word "straight". / Didn't you come for Dan Savage's husband Terry Miller last week? You should remember, it was between the time you came for Chris Crocker and when you came for Arielle...

I know lots of cisgender people who use the term 'cis'
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Liked by: kat haché Krysta Mewes

Have you ever considered that the SunTImes didn't want to publish your blog post because you're not a professional journalist? Is this why you attack the HuffPost guy constantly? Because he actually is? (P.s- You critique his grammar but I notice you make mistakes too. *Review your tweets

Srry abt my twttr grmmr
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Liked by: Chris aka River Rachel Al2der Krysta Mewes kat haché

I had no problem with the word "cisgender" when it was first explained to me. I understand the need for trans people to have a word to describe those who are not like them. However, cisgender people don't use that word, so trans people are actually the ones defining its use. (1/3)

It's not a negative word. Perhaps the reason people see it as a negative term is that historically, a lot of very crappy things have happened to trans people, largely at the hands of cis people.
It's kind of arrogant to take someone saying, "Here's something cis people have done..." and turn it around to focus attention away from the issue being talked about and instead act as though you've been the one harmed as a result of someone saying that you're a member of 99%+ people in the world.
Basically, cis people complaining about being called cis is just as ridiculous as white people being called white or straight people being called heterosexual. It's like men saying "not ALL men" to derail conversations about misogyny.
But if you feel 'cis' has a negative connotation, perhaps consider the possibility that trans people have a legitimate gripe. Improve the word's perception by helping to advance trans rights. I just wrote an article about cis allies to trans causes. No way anyone could take that as negative. Become one of those allies through action.

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Liked by: Tom

Why don't you think drag queens should be able to use the word tranny? Isn't it just a short version of transvestite?

I take it this is in reference to my editorial at The Advocate today ( http://www.advocate.com/commentary/2014/02/20/op-ed-its-time-stop-t-word )? Looking at it now, it seems that I didn't directly address that point (it was in my first draft, but for the sake of everyone's attention span, I made some cuts). Okay, well... First, I want to say that yes, I know some drag queens are trans (just as some lawyers, doctors, firefighters, etc. are trans...). Now, here's the thing: I get that there are such things as homonyms. I get that saying "tranny" in the context of a trans person and "tranny" when talking about a car transmission are two words, identical in sound, greatly different in meaning. By all means, keep referring to your transmission like that if you'd like, that's fine by me. The issue stems from using "tranny" in the context of a slur against trans people vs. "tranny" in terms of whatever drag queens use it for. Those are not only homonyms, but they're near identical in meaning, too. When someone shouts, "hey you fucking tranny!" at me on the street, they're saying, "hey person who was assigned male at birth but appears feminine to me at the moment!" Now, when drag queens use it, they're referring to a person who was assigned male at birth but appears feminine at the moment. Basically, the same thing. Also! Even if you go the, "but what about it being short for transvestite?" route, it should be noted that even that term is no longer acceptable to use (see: GLAAD's website), so that point is moot.
Basically, there's no real need to use a word that inflicts harm on others. Seriously, why is it so important to use? Of course you're welcome to use it, and I'm welcome to say you're an asshole for that. So don't, okay?

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Liked by: Dean Alexander E.Winter Grey Blake Croissant

I'm really impressed that you take the time to answer some very rude and insensitive comments thoughtfully and without reproach. Nice job taking the high road! I'm curious: what music do you like? Are there any particular songs that speak to transitioning or trans issues for you?

No problem. Happy to. Funny you should ask. My college degree is in arts and media management, with a focus on music business. Right out of college, I worked for a small record label, then went on to work with the manager of a local musician (Andrew Bird - check him out). As far as trans-centric albums/songs, I highly recommend Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me! It's both an amazing record, and the first piece of music that has really been so blatantly relatable.
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Liked by: Adina Dean Alexander Blake Croissant

My mom is trans, & had several S.R. surgeries in the late '90's. Based on her physical experiences after & changing acceptance of trans bodies, she feels that surgery is not an option she'd choose today. Do you think desire for "the surgery" is motivated more by social or individual ideas of gender?

That's a good question. Ultimately, it comes down to the individual. If someone has extreme body dysphoria, that in itself is a strong enough motivation. Others might find other reasons to seek that out, one being society's attitude toward trans people. It's definitely a complicated issue, and any decision has to be made by the individual.
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Liked by: Adina Dean Alexander Blake Croissant

Have you had the surgery? Do you plan to?

Oh wow... Hrmmm... Well, I did promise to answer all trans related questions... *sigh* okay...
I assume you're referencing sexual reassignment surgery...
So, first off, this is a question you really shouldn't ask a trans person. Think of it this way: How often have you asked cisgender people about their genitals? Exactly...
That said, no, I have not at this point... Will I? I honestly don't know. It's expensive, and it's a major surgery, so it's something that really should be given a lot of thought.
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Liked by: wren gayle romano Dean Alexander Alicia Artemissian E.Winter Grey

Can a trans lesbian find love? I've tried online dating and the like, and it seems like even fellow trans women aren't interested in responding.

People come in all shapes, sizes and body configurations. I feel like being trans certainly makes finding a match more difficult, but at the same time, it's not like you'd want to be with someone who wasn't into you for you, anyway, right?
Keep your head up, try to have patience, just believe things will work out.
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Liked by: Adina Kat Lily Fox

How can straights be good allies?

The best way a cisgender person can be an ally is to listen to trans voices, ask how you can help (help may vary from person to person, issue to issue). Also, feel free to speak up if you hear about someone being transphobic or promoting an agenda harmful to trans people (see: the attempt to repeal CA's new trans student law).
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Liked by: Dean Alexander Alicia Artemissian Lily Fox

How did you get your start writing?

I've always enjoyed writing. I've always been one to keep personal journals. As far as getting published by different outlets? Well, I suppose that started when I was in college: I interned at Pitchfork (they of indie music snobbery) as an editorial intern for 6 months. That's where I first started getting the hang of formatting and following style guides. Then, as I grappled with my depression and dysphoria, I sort of stopped writing for a long while. Last year, after reading a lot of truly awful articles about trans topics, I decided to give it a shot myself. From there, it was a lot of emails and phone calls, trying to convince places to publish my work.
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Liked by: Blake Croissant

What's the most fun thing you've 'discovered' about being a girl?

Less about "being a girl," and more about just "being me," I'd say the best thing I've discovered is that life doesn't necessarily have to be so sad all the time. Trying to pretend to be someone you're not is tiring, and it's good to not have to do that anymore.
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Liked by: Adina Alicia Artemissian

I asked you what it means to be a woman. You still haven't answered. If you are a woman because you just are one, then why can't you be a woman without getting breasts? Going on HRT? Your words say one thing, your actions say another. Regardless, I wish you happiness.

Okay, fine. I'll bite. I went on HRT because I felt tired and sad and dysphoric and generally uncomfortable in my skin (like, actually uncomfortable in my skin). Going on HRT alleviated physical, mental, and emotional discomfort. Do you ask this same question of women who got on HRT during menopause? "Why can't you be a woman without going on HRT? Hypocrite!" No, I bet you don't do that.
And the breasts were just something that came along with HRT.
I am a woman because I am a woman. I went on HRT because I wanted to alleviate my physical, mental, and emotional discomfort. Hopefully that answered your series of intrusive questions.
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Liked by: Panty Panic Michelle Ellen Ball

Is there no trans category on driving licenses? And do you think there should be?

Not in any state in the U.S. I think there most certainty should be an option for individuals who don't fit into either of the two options. That said, even with such an option, I'd still opt for my license to read female.
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Liked by: Panty Panic Krysta Mewes

How do you feel about the sex industry? Do you find it empowering for women or degrading?

I am pro-bodily autonomy. All forms of sex work should be legalized, and people should be able to make their own decisions.
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Liked by: Panty Panic Kat

So to comment on an issue, we have to be able to relate on a personal level, otherwise our opinion doesn't carry as much weight ?

Does a white person's opinion on racism hold as much weight as that of someone who has actually experienced racism?
Does a great man's opinion on misogyny hold as much weight as that of someone who has actually experienced misogyny?
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Liked by: Teri Marti Abernathey

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