Natty Stephanny

I do not know what to do I am powerless to continue, please help me, I feel like I'm in a bottomless pit where I will not be able to escape forever, my parents live drunk and are not even there for me, my sisters changed themselves with their boyfriends to another city not endure more our parents, I have no friends to look for when I need advice or just chat about anything from the disappearance of my brother on a day that we were in the park, my life became hell they blame me, I blame myself, I took my eyes for two minutes and when I looked at was no longer there, I remember getting up early in the morning looking for him and nothing, I was defeated sad tired, and worst was having to come home and have to tell everything to my parents, they beat me so much as to not be able to get up from the ground, I was days locked in the room with fear, I heard they quarrel all night after my father beat my mother and then went to the bar and I had to be quiet because when I was trying to get close to one of them to speak told me not to get close to them and that the fault was all mine, then a while they began to leave early and returned only at BEBADOS dawn and reeking of marijuana and that made me worse, I would not, but the school, I was about to graduate in the third year of high school, when it happened my grades were good and I was one of the best students in my class, but after all I could not concentrate in class
I was missing and my grades were bad, then resolvir to study, I thought about running away, but where? I had no friends because I was always very shy and suspicious, always afraid of me interact with people, I'm not sure myself and I've never been with someone or dated, I'm afraid that my insecurity, I do not know when I can change to find that nothing is going to work with me at the same time I want something that the other no longer want and most of the time I back on impulse and then I see the shit I did and it bothers me a lot, several kittens already He came to me and I said no just think he does not deserve me or do not deserve it, create a whole story in my head, so I know a person as if a child arrives at me as I reassuring already create a story with him in my own head and I wonder if it would work or not, he's not thinking about it and it ta making me crazy, I think I'm crazy, please try to understand me .. and I do not see really good more future for me or my parents that I have tried to help, but it's like nothing adiantasse ask me and I had gone in place of my brother would be the same way or would have changed too, have so many unanswered questions that I can not stand more, you have taught me so much that I thank you and I'm here today it is to you that nothing else matters in this world unless you 5, I am proud of what we have become, I follow you guys whenever I can and I say with eyes marejando I never had so proud of people like me have you 5, how strong and great become, you will be very successful but I wanted to be here

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to see it, but I do not know how long I'll last with all bar and honestly I will not be long, well again I thank you for all you did for me without even knowing that you helped me a lot, you can take a sincere smile at me when no one else could, sometimes it was weak and to give up I went out and hours and hours spent watching you videos laugh or just talking normally and everything was better for a while, then came the chest pain the urge to cry uncontrollably all over again, but the time I was there watching videos meant days for me, so yeah feel heroines, because if by chance the life I did not know you might not be here I was, say, all the land in which we live, has an angel or a soul mate that will make you happy and in my case, I'm 5, 5 angels 5 soulmates, 5 women who helped me a lot to be happy and thank you for everything, I love you so much, I hope one day read it when II started write this I asked for help and good I messed up I do not want help no more, because even if this letter reaches you could not help me because I do not deserve help, I am not worthy of the love of anyone, II am guilty of all I now accept, pordoe me for all I was weak I am weak and I can not stand before women so strong that it would be a shame for me, forgive me so I do not think when they see it will be right here, then I love very much all of you and all too Harmonizers. BYE

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