I think this is a fantastic question! I am the mother of five fantastic human beings. My oldest daughter is married to a great woman! She came out to me when she was 16 years old. I embrace my daughter for who she is. I also have a transgender child. He had a hard time emotionally as a young child because of the heart wrenching battle of trying to identify how he was born to who he is. He fell into huge bouts of depression. I didnt know how to help him because I didnt know what was going on inside of his head.
Unfortunately because of my then very present addiction (I cant help anyone unless I can tell the truth of what I went through I was there definitely was there but not in the depth he needed me to be in the beginning) He wasnt able to convey exactly what he was battling with and trust that I could with all my soul understand and be his strength on the days he could not do it on his own.
At the age of 15 my son said mom we have to talk. I heard the voice of desperation and urgency so I stopped what I was doing and opened myself up to hear truly hear what my child needed to tell me. He told me I know that you know I am not attracted to males. I told him I already know that you are gay and I am not upset your sister is married to another woman remember? He told me no mom. I mean I am not gay I do not identify as a female, He began to tear up. I took a deep breath and I said can you please help me to understand what it is that you feel this way. He said I am not confused mom. I know who I am and my body is not a representation of it.
I thought back to a few years prior when I had befriended a younger transgender woman. She had a particular bad time and was suicidal. I had spent a whole day convincing her that she is loved and suicide was not the answer as her own family closed the door on her. I remember feeling so sad that nobody not her parents gave a damn what she was going through all they saw was a boy in a dress and I would not do that to my own family.
I told my child I believe in being who you are no matter what anyone else thinks. I will need time to adjust because I am your mother that carried you for 9 mos in my tummy I know what I felt when you were born and as I named you so I am not trying to offend you as I begin to identify with your identity.. I cried with my baby because he battled alone and I was not emotionally available in the depth I needed to be drugs magnify your emotions good or bad. They served as a mask for me and a wall so I didnt have to deal with the abuse I went through as a child or the abuse I was experiencing at that present time. My child lived with his father . My addicted reasoning was as long as I am there as they need me and I am protecting them from seeing what I go through.
Love conquers all no matter what. My son started hormones at 18 and has grown into this positive responsible adult . The only help he needed was my love and understanding and it changed his entire world. Love works

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