@abelleinbk

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Man I'm seeing and I work diff schedules and he's a single parent. Other night made plans, they fell through but he calls next morning apologized. We communicate great via phone and in person but should I assume something's up if plans continue to fall thru. I know he has other priorities but...

If he's constantly flaking, he's not all that interested OR he's poor at managing the responsibilities of parenting and dating. Neither bodes well for you.
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This may be a silly question but it's happened in the past where exes pop up via text or call on Christmas Day to open the lines of comm. I've responded b/c I don't want to seem cruel considering the day but in the long run, it never ends well. Is it ok to ignore?

Yes.
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Liked by: Jasmine A. Edwards

How do you support a friend that is going to marry a man that is abusive and cheats on her publicly? Is attending the wedding out of the question or should I be there to support her regardless?

Attend wedding. You are there to celebrate her happiness and her choice even if you don't approve of the partner.
She knows he's abusive and likely that he cheats. She's choosing to marry him. As an adult, she is entitled to make decisions many people would balk at.
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Liked by: ChiChi Ude

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Out with BF, his married bro meets us at a bar with a bimbo & they were all over each other. I feigned a headache so that we could leave early. In the car ride home told BF that while I won't tell I won't support cheating by hanging out with his bro & "friends." BF called me judgmental. Whose right?

You are.
And you should take note of your man's cavalier stance on cheating.
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex Jasmine A. Edwards Unchinked Armor

Belle, when dating someone what is considered "actual date?" Must the 2 ppl involved explicitly say it's a date? I wrote the question abt out w/guy we both were talking w/friends. We were at a club & I wasn't dating the guy who came up to me anymore. Should I still hv looked at it as "us on a date?"

Yes.

Hey belle! I have a friend driving me back home for Xmas and he asked if he could sleep over at my place the night before. Is this something I should ask my bf how he feels about it before saying yea to friend?

Yes. Wouldn't you want to know if a woman, friend or not, was sleeping at his place??
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex Jasmine A. Edwards

Have a suspicion that someone I am dating is a part-time dope boy (selling weed). I have asked. He says no. I am an attorney that understands a hustle but am conflicted in my association w/someone (although I like him A LOT) doing it. Do I cut him off at this point?

Why do you suspect this?
If you strongly suspect it, cut it off. You can lose your job over illegal affiliations.

Had a crush on a male friend for a while. On my 30th birthday my girls and I completely made me over; new hair style, new clothing style and makeup tutorial. Now I have the attention from him I always wanted but resent that I had to change so much to get it. I am the same person. Am I overreacting?

You didn't look the part.
Let's not pretend that looks don't matter. If you're going to maintain this new look, great. If it's only a passing phase, this won't work.

Admittedly, i have been known to make plans and not follow thru or get invited out and decline. im looking to change that. However, ive noticed the invitations are declining. How do i get ppl to know i am serious about no longer wanting to be a homebody? Do i make plans now and invite?

You make plans and invite and also apologize to the people you've stood up or cancelled on. They may begin to invite you out again.

Is it ever ok to let jealous show? Yest at party my sis was talking to cute guy and her hubs who usually gives her space came and set next to her and cute guy. Before that he couldn't take his eyes off them talking. Is that normal or should u always b confident in your relationship

It happens.
This is harmless. He felt a way. He didn't make a scene. But he made his presence known.

Dating dude (not exclusively) but recently unfriended him on FB because he constantly flirts with other women. He noticed, asked why, and I told him. He accused me of being possessive, I still want to date him occasionally, but don't need to see all that. Do you think that I was being possessive?

No.

How can you address an issue you have with your partner w/o being a nag?

I hate that word. It's belittling and only used to refer to women. It suggests that it's a problem when we ask for what we want and it's dismissive of women being upset our needs are not met.
The "nagging" comes on when you're asking over and over. Ask for what you want. He doesn't do it, remind him that you've asked, it didn't get done and you'd like his input on what you can do to see that it does. Still won't do it, drop it, do it yourself or if necessary, find someone who will.
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Liked by: Jasmine A. Edwards Unchinked Armor Laura Asseauguste Neshia Smith

Getting more comfortable with guy I am dating so I don't always put the laundry away, clean my work papers off the dining room table end, or cook large meals on weeknights when he comes over. He commented on it. At what point are we allowed to not always be 'visitor ready' in the getting to know you

At the point he's got a second invite into your home, you should be able to just be you.
The truth is very few people keep a house that looks picture perfect at all times. It's important for him to see you as you really are, so you can know if he's cool with it and he can know who you really are, not just your representative.
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex

friend said if he knew a Girl prior platonic never been to house then after 3 dates he feels like he can come to her house for essentially a couch date . His reasoning it's winter time not many low cost dates during winter I'm running into men who agree still press to go out or keep it moving

Go hang out at a coffeeshop or movies or grab happy hour food/drinks or the few places that are suitable for winter dates.
Chilling on the couch is lazy dating. You don't have to spend a lot of money, but you BOTH are required to find alternates to sitting up on the house. He doesn't get to cut corners on properly dating you just because he knows you.

When people make an effort when it's convieant for them is that really effort . I get everybody has different schedules but it seems like with a friend she only takes her schedule finances into consideration.

It's still effort. It's also a problem for you. Discuss it with her.

I've heard over and over again that it's better not to know if your SO cheats. Insight into that logic? And is that ever acceptable?

Some folk like to bury their head in the sand. If they don't know, they don't have to deal.
Is it ever acceptable for him to cheat? No.
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Liked by: _

Nope that's not the only thing..she never seems interested in how I'm doing with the business, she'll never ask but ask me about the latest dude I'm dating. When I mention my business she seems lukewarm. Maybe I'm jus the kind of friend who supports my folks and keep tabs on their progress..

_
Then express that part to her. That's a valid concern she may be open to hearing from you.
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Liked by: _

She actually does like what I'm selling cuz after I told her my ex BFF bought something she was all hype&saying she liked all these items&she was going to buy. As far as her financial situation, unless she's lying to me, she's doing fine. My items range from $5-$20 AND I give discount....

_
She doesn't like it THAT much is she hasn't bought anything. Even if she loved and it was 50 cents, she is still not obligated to buy.
Let's bottomline this: it's not about her purchasing something. It's about you not feeling supported by your friend. If the only evidence of this is that she hasn't bought anything, drop it. If there are other ways you feel she's been unsupportive, address those issues.
You will come across as woefully entitled if you address someone about why they haven't essentially given you money.

Out w/guy I'm dating 4 mos - not bf. He's off talking to friends. Guy I dated comes up to me & we start talking abt 15mins. Nothing serious. After, my current guy said I was disrespectful for that. Said I should've kept it short cuz I'm out w/him. I disagree. Won't apologize. Was I outta line?

You were both out of line.
He shouldn't have left you solo to go chat that long if he's out with you and you shouldn't have chatted with someone so long-- especially a guy you're also dating-- while you're on a date.
You wee both disrespectful and you both need to apologize, and perhaps create some ground rules for how you operate when you're out.
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex

hey belle I have a friend I think really likes me but he is shy, I think I like him too. I create opportunities for him to be open about his feelings towards me but he seems reluctant to take the initiative. I am always initiating contact,we have a connection I love talking 2 him but I feel foolis

He's not all that interested.
You create opportunities; he does nothing. And he doesn't initiate contact. This isn't going anywhere.

How long do you wait for a man to use your #. Sent it to him in a message 5 days ago, said he'd call - still nothing. Of course, I'm keeping busy but what's the acceptable wait time?

This is a trick question.
Would be nice if he called within a few days so you don't forget who he is.
He doesn't know you to actually be interested, so you can't really fault him for not being interested here.
See what he has to say whenever he calls. If you're no longer interested, don't entertain him.

Hving a convo w. some friends, please settle this. Does it make a guy any less of a gentleman if he doesn't walk on the outside?

PynkElephant’s Profile PhotoPynkElephant
No. It's a nice gesture and all, but it's not the be all, end all.

Own btq for almost a yr, best friend has never supported it by buying anything. Realized it disappointed me when ex best friend I fell out with last yr bought something...I felt some2 I don't speak 2 is supporting me but my own best friend isn't? It hurts a little. Should I speak on it or let it go?

_
Let it go. She is not obligated to buy from you.
You do not know the ins and out of her financial situation and if she genuinely likes what you are selling. Whether she does or not, again, she is not obligated to purchase because she is your friend.
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Liked by: Cathy Unchinked Armor

With a older guy who I know I don't love because of his lack of ambition but sex game is keeping him around while I accomplishes my goals and I know I love my ex but afraid of what to do next ? What should I do ?

Stop using the older guy and speak up about your feelings to your ex, if he treated you well. Otherwise, you need to work on getting over your ex.

Having trouble deciding when I should reach out to the guy. In dating should we take turns initiating convo. I'm thinking my lack of initiative my read as uninterested

You should take turns. In general: if he's initiating, it's fine for you to do so as well at about the same rate.

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