ang

You guys act like me and Jason just broke up a week ago but here's the thing, it was 6 months ago... s i x months ago. I've had a lot of time to think about everything that happened and the aftermath of it. Me and Jason, we were happy, in the beginning it was wonderful, whether he thinks it or not, believes it or not, he was truly happy. I know him better than you guys think and I know he was happy. But then jealousy came to play, it was like we both felt neglected by the other and made it a competition. We wanted each others attention and we both thought we never got it. But in reality he did have all of my attention and I feel now as if I may have had all of his. It just started going downhill but I had faith it would get better but that faith slipped away. Yes I broke up with him, but that doesn't mean this didn't hurt me too. I finally decided to put my feelings before someone else's. I had to do what was best for ME because I was hurting and needed to let go. I remember my fortune teller bring him up so many times and she said i had suffered alot, not only bc of the obstacles we were faced with but because my decision to end things was forced in so many ways. Jason's a good guy and he may now act like a "sad boy" but I believe he's gonna clean up and soon be happy, as Felicity said you determine your own happiness and she's right at the end of the day it is up to you if you want to be happy or stay miserable. I know he has it in him to stop being sad and be happy. And that's what I want most, that's what I don't think you guys get. I'm more worried about his happiness than the "us" we used to be, i even made that clear on the last message of the last huge argument we had. He has a life ahead of him and a family in the future waiting for him, I'm don't intend on just watching him throw all he has going for him away. His happiness was honestly my happiness and I still want him to be happy. He's always going to have a permanent place in my heart even if we never get back together again, and I'm not saying we will. But I think the thing that's holding me back most from fully moving on even though sometimes I say I have it, is the fact we never got closure. I've tried so many times to give us closure, but we never ended on the same page. One day we're going to need to discuss this and get this closure, but until then I'm stuck in this phase of what if's and would'ves and should'ves and just simple regrets.(:
-From the wise words of my tumblr material bff Felicity Auxcord❤️❤️
She has put it into so many words into so many different ways (i have too she just does it way better lol) but no matter how many times we do it'll never be the whole entire picture.

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