July 14th 2013, the morning I watched my nan take her last breathe, the day I had to say goodbye to the women which I saw everyday for 15 years, the day I lost the most precious women in my life, the only person who believed in me, who thought I was beautiful and appreciated me for me, and she would never wish for me to be any other way. And also the day I had to watch my mums life shatter into a million pieces all over again, after she'd just managed to get better, but I watched her fall apart again! I'd give up anything for my nan to be with us again but I guess that's never going to happen, loveyou
well I don't really know what to say, but whatever I do say I guess it'll be pretty long! me and Kane have had a past, I'll admit it's not been a great past but in some ways it has. 2 years ago mine and his friendship was lovely, we used to go out most days of the week, I trusted him a lot to, he was always there to make me smile. But things changed when I started to gain feelings for him. I was like 12/13 at this point and out of our friendship group I liked quite a few people haha, but I don't know it was like it was different with Kane. A year went by and we stopped going out, and I guess he started to get pretty fed up with people telling him I liked him, another year went by and I honestly loved him, I loved him so much! I was annoying, and irritating, and I understand that he could do so much better than me and I knew from day one that I would never get the chance to go out with him, but I would've been willing to give up everything for him and quite a few people knew that. But I used to get really really upset about this, I never thought I was good enough and I got to the stage where I was never happy. I understand I'm still not the happiest of people but I'm a lot better than I was. We haven't always had a good friendship, he's said a few things in the past which he knows have upset me badly, but I still don't see what I ever did wrong to make things like they are. But yeah I spent two and a half years loving him and the other day i guess I finally realised that I'd moved on, i realised that the feelings just weren't there anymore. My face didn't light up when I saw him anymore. And well I guess things weren't the same. I didn't know weather to be happy about it or not, but I also finally realised that I could live without him, but after everything I do miss him and the memories which we shared and he was my first love so I'll never forget him. And if you ever take the time to read this Kane, I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you, so yeah
no, no I don't. I can happily say that I did, but he is honestly not the person I did fall in love with! He treat me like utter shit, and I put up with it for so long, I cried and cried and nobody understood how I felt, people used to tell me 'oh he's a cunt' And I was always like 'no he's not he's different than what you think' but no, he's not..not at all! it's pretty obvious I was never good enough for him, either too ugly, too weird, basically I couldn't be myself around him, I had to pretend to be someone I'm not to try please him. He's messed with my head for so long, I've believed all his lies, and it's not ended how I wanted it to, but fuck him, why should I hate the person I am and the life that I live because of him? I'm obviously the bad person in all of this because apparently 'I make people feel sorry for me because I apparently ask him out and all he does is rejects me' but I'm honestly so fed up, and I really do give up, fuck him and everything which he has said to me, can't exactly say I'm happy, but maybe my life will turn out to be a little bit better than I expected.
girls who are like 'I'm so ugly', 'I'm so fat', 'I hate myself so much'. When they post about 10 selfies on Facebook everyday, walk around in belly tops and the shortest shorts, get complimented by every fucker and get over 100 likes on every photo they upload. Can't be that ugly then can they.
There's this new kid in my school who's literally been here a week and today I met him for the first time an me and him were the only ones left who needed a partner and he looked me up and down and went 'hmm nahhh' fucking cheeky cunt doesn't even know me that's the funny thing. Go hang round with the pretty girls little arsehole
well in year seven I was in cooking, cooking ma scones;) and well I went dizzy and I was like miss I'm going to sit down and when I was going to sit down I fainted and this man/women tech teacher thing tried to catch me and I moved all the tables back! Woke up about 20 minutes after to the whole class staring at me and my cooking partner turned around and went 'Demi do you want me to finish your scones? Hahah and then my mum was upset because I didn't bring scones home lol
I know I've just answered this but I missed something out. Personally I think it was where I went to see both my nan and grandad in the chapel of rest, where I said my final goodbyes to them both, and I put a little note and a picture in both of their graves just so they would remember me. And also another thing which I personally thought was brave is where we got a phone call from the hospital saying that my nan hadn't got long left to live, and both me and my mum sat in the room with her and we was both crying and my mum was telling her how much of a good mum that she'd been, and basically we both watched her pass away, and it broke our hearts and I just had to run out, but I went back in and kissed her on the head and I did the same again when my cousin got there! Made my mum proud
Every monday I say I'm going on a diet and going for a run, but then it rains and mum buys really nice food, so I then say I'll start next monday, never happens like
yeah that fact that I was talking to someone and.. 1- he said he wanted to stab me and.. 2- he went 'stop posting pathetic status' on Facebook, all you do is dwell on something you're never going to get' and he meant Kane so yeah
what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?
loosing my nan and grandad, my grandad passed away over 18 months ago, I still think about him day in day out, but for my nan and him well..they were both married for 58 years, nothing ever went wrong between them. But ever since my grandads death my nan had never been her usual self, but she would always sit in her chair smiling, making the rest of her family smile. About a month ago she just turned really ill, but it was so sudden. and she passed away two weeks ago on sunday, but for me and my mum to be in the room with her, and to watch her take her last breathe was actually heartbreaking, she was so inspirational, so strong, but all she wanted to do was be back in her husbands arms, and well I can say for a fact that I know she'll be happy with him, I hope they're both proud of me, and I hope they're looking down on me! rip both of you, always in my heart! I loveyou
well ok in year eight it was school photo day and this boy came up to me and said to me 'at least my mum can have babys that stay alive' because my mum had 3 miscarriages, and like I cried and my school photo was awful, my mum didn't buy that one