@micvassallo

Mike Vassallo

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower I like to pretend that my milkshakes bring all the boys to the hard, but then I remember I'm a 14 year old boy...

Word we must b twins

Don't worry little white child I will save you from starvation, I will bring you some fried chicken, kool aid, and watermelon. Don't worry everything will be alright!!

Oh I'm nvm

One time this girl really hated me and wanted to ruin my reputation so one day I was talking to a boy and she came up and really obnoxiously said "you know she likes you right?" And he was like "man I hope so or else this is gonna get really awkward" She fuckin told my boyfriend I like him

Do I look like a therapist

Your mom hands you a glass of orange juice. You take a sip. It's not orange juice. It's stirred egg yolks. You spit them all out. You ask your mom why. She turns around. It's not your mom. It's me. Your mom is gone. I'm your mom now.

But I like my mom

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