Symon Keiser

I am bawling as I write this, I lost two of the most important people in my life. Symon, my boyfriend, my best friend, my everthing thanks for always being there for me I love you to the moon and back Theres not enough words in the world to express how much i loved u and how much you meant to me Fuck the haters I will see you someday <3 Bentley, a couple days ago Bentley passed on he had cancer i posted it on my twitter about a month ago and have been getting a lot of hate for it I deleted it He had neuroblastoma in his right eye and left hip He battled cancer hard for 6 months but he is now an angel Mommy loved you Bentley I need to get my life together so this is my last post on Symons account I loved all my fans and my supporters thank u I will post pics of Bentley before he passed Symon and Bentley meant the world to me and I will forever miss them I pray that God will help me through this hard time and I will pray everyday untill I see both of them again Thank you to all who loved Bnetley and Symon as much as I did I love you,Bentley and Symon! R.I.P i can't wait to see you again!<3

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Symon, it has been a fucking month since you died, it seems like forever. I miss you more everyday. I hope you had a great birthday! Halloweens soon and Bentley is going to be a football player like his daddy! Symon I dont think you knew how much Bentley loves you, he prays with me every night for you he always asks for you and he needs you by his side. Bentley has been super busy with sports and he is really good too i think he plays for you you would have been so proud of him He has grown up so much Where did my baby Bentley go? He is growing up and it is making me sad I enjoy every minute I have with him I miss you Symon come back where you belong please i have had so many breakdowns i cant take it anymore I need you more than i ever have I love you so much and you know that Bentley loves you too We need you We love you We hope you are safe

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Sy,sorry i haven't blogged in a while. A lot of things have happened this week good things First Bentley started soccer,baseball,football,and basketball so i have been busy with that. He reminds me of you when he plays sports because he plays a lot, he is super skinny,he is supportive of other teammates,he even runs the same way you do The other day it was so cute Bentley came up to me after he won a baseball game and said Daddy would have loved to see me play He understands that you are gone and he accepts it I took him out for ice cream after that game Than I failed a test in school so i have to take that class over but i am doing online so i dont have too Next I moved into a new house and i really like it you would have loved it it has much more space and the yard is huge I have been busy moving I am moved back home to Montana to be closer to family Bentley is enjoying sports there and I am doing online school so i can work more Yesterday,Bentley had a doctors appt. He weighs 24 pounds and is 4 ft.tall he is tall and skinny like you then i got a new job i like it a lot better Since we moved I have only had a few breakdowns which is good but i still get sad thinking about u a lot and mad Thats it for this blog I love you symon Fuck the haters I miss you i need you but i love you more dont forget

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Sorry that i haven't blogged in a few days sy life has been crazy as fuck since you left Bentley's heart broke today you usually pick him up from preschool on Wedsnesdays and he knows that and when i walked through the door he ran up to me and said Where's Daddy? With his eyes filled with saddness i said that daddy wasn't picking him up today and he said oh and got his stuff and we left but as soon as we got in the car he started crying and saying I want my daddy! I tried to get him to calm down but he kept on crying the whole way home and when we got home he cried some more but then he finally stopped and went on with his night like normal i couldn't hold the tears in as soon as i put Bentley to bed he fell asleep in my lap i went into the bathroom and cried i need you symon bentley needs you i can't have you die and my son's heart break at the same time it is too much for me to handle i need you to be by my side helping me stay strong and telling me that everything is going to be ok i hope tomorrow is a better day for me and Bentley I love you symon i need you fuck the haters i hope you are safe

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Today I took Bentley to the doctors after work because he said his ear hurt He had a double ear infection I thought about you Sy because you always used to get double ear infections Bentley really is a mini you anyway we came home and i thought about you more how you would of played catch with Bentley or took him to the beach or the park so i took him to the park and thought of you the whole time and by the time we came home i was so mad and sad that i almost had a mental breakdown but i forced myself not to i made Bentley dinner and then put him to bed and then i called my mom and said how i couldnt stop thinking about you and how nobody understands what i am going through but my mom loved symon almost as much as i did she said she could come watch bentley for a few days so i could get myself together i said yes my mom always knows when i need to clear my head and have a breakdown so i did after i got off the phone with her i did i went into my bathroom and i had a breakdown because every day my head is filled with you sy and your memories memories were flashing by in my head our first date finding out we were pregnant with Bentley i had to have a breakdown because my head was about to explode my breakdown lasted 1 hour and then i went on with my night like nothing happened but in the back of my mind i knew it had I love you sy i miss you i need you i hope you are safe <3

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I am so glad todays friday so i have the weekend to get my shit together mostly my brain and my emotions Today starting getting worse around the time that i let myself have a breakdown in the bathroom about you symon i love you i miss you i need you i had so many thoughts going on in my head i felt sick but it was just my emotions my heart is broken and i am watching my sons break at the same time Bentley always asks where daddy is and is he coming back and i have to tell him heaven and no he is never coming back it just breaks my heart anyway back to my day i had a breakdown in the bathroom i had another breakdown a few hours later for the same reason u symon i need u way more than i ever did i need u to be a father i need u to be my best friend i need u to be by my side through everything even ur death and its seems like ur there mentally but your bodys not there i allow my myself to have breakdowns every one in a while and then i try to stay strong i love you sy i miss you i need u i hope u are safe <3

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The first couple days without symon by my side have been some of the hardest days of my life Yesterday i woke up and said symon like he was there next to me just like i said when we were dating today bentley asked where daddy was and i told him that he went to a better place and he wont be able to facetime with him anymore it broke my heart when i told bentley that he had a sad look on his face it was like his heart was breaking i really wish i could just start sobbing and never stop but i promised myself i would stay strong for bentley and symon before symon died the last thing he texted me was to always be there for bentley and that he loves me i loved him so much i dont know if i can live much longer but i am going to try Bentleys heart is breaking and my heart is already broken i love you symon i miss you fuck the haters i miss you sy i love you more than life and i hope u are safe <3

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Symon gained his wings today at 10:39 pm He was bullied online into death he had a 3 year old son who loved him and me his bestfriend who loved him I met Symon when i was young and he was that outgoing always there for you type of kid i dated him and even had a son with him i loved him so much i am sobbing as i write this and i dont know how i am going to tell his son Symon was my best friend my soulmate my everything i loved him more than my own life life will be so hard without him fuck the haters is symons saying he loved his son and he said Bentley was his other half Me and Bentley will miss him but he is in better place r.i.p angel I LOVE YOU SYMON DONT EVER FORGET FUCK THE HATERS SYMON WAS A FIGHTER AND NOW I AM SYMON MADE ME A BETTER PERSON STAND UP FOR BULLYING WE LOVE YOU SYMON DONT YOU EVER FORGET LOVE U SY YOU WILL BE GREATLY MISSED THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME A BETTER PERSON LOVE YA

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