Do you have any tips for dealing with the growing feeling that I don't actually like my friends anymore as they have recently shown to be more conservative/reactionary than I realized? I am pretty uncomfortable with them sometimes but if I cut them out of my life I have basically no one...
That's a tough situation! All of these situations are different, and it heavily depends on what you personally need or feel comfortable with in specific friendships, but I guess there's a few things I'd say to keep in mind. First, you don't have to agree with people on everything to be friends or acquaintances with them. There are people I strongly disagree with on a variety of topics that I'm still able to be friendly with, because the nature of our relationship doesn't demand agreement there. And you shouldn't feel obligated to "fix" the opinions you disagree with in other people - in fact, that usually doesn't turn out well for anybody.
But that said, if you actually don't enjoy the company of certain people, or don't see them as friends you can rely on based on their various opinions, you obviously have the right to distance yourself in whatever way you feel comfortable. We all end up in a variety of relationships of convenience, based on proximity or some mutual interest or any number of other factors, and the people you naturally end up with are by no means the people who will be the best for you as friends. I know from experience that spending time trying to make some friendship or friend circle work when you're not fundamentally comfortable with those people will only lead to anxiety and self-doubt, and that I was much happier even being alone for a while after I cut certain toxic people out of my life.
But you have to gauge what you want for yourself, and what you're getting out of these relationships. If this is just a sort of low building feeling, I wouldn't necessarily suggest cutting these people directly off, but I'd definitely encourage you to try and find support in other places, so you have more social safety nets. If you're a person who likes being social, there are always ways to connect with others, be it online or through local hobbyist groups or whatever. Additionally, if you have a long-standing relationship with certain people that you consider based in real trust, you could always try talking with them individually about whatever's making you uncomfortable. I consider being a generally kind and considerate person far more important in anyone else than any other opinion they may hold, and if you share at least an agreement on that point, you could very well be able to work other issues out.
Either way, good luck with your troubles, and don't feel guilty about doing what you have to do for yourself!
But that said, if you actually don't enjoy the company of certain people, or don't see them as friends you can rely on based on their various opinions, you obviously have the right to distance yourself in whatever way you feel comfortable. We all end up in a variety of relationships of convenience, based on proximity or some mutual interest or any number of other factors, and the people you naturally end up with are by no means the people who will be the best for you as friends. I know from experience that spending time trying to make some friendship or friend circle work when you're not fundamentally comfortable with those people will only lead to anxiety and self-doubt, and that I was much happier even being alone for a while after I cut certain toxic people out of my life.
But you have to gauge what you want for yourself, and what you're getting out of these relationships. If this is just a sort of low building feeling, I wouldn't necessarily suggest cutting these people directly off, but I'd definitely encourage you to try and find support in other places, so you have more social safety nets. If you're a person who likes being social, there are always ways to connect with others, be it online or through local hobbyist groups or whatever. Additionally, if you have a long-standing relationship with certain people that you consider based in real trust, you could always try talking with them individually about whatever's making you uncomfortable. I consider being a generally kind and considerate person far more important in anyone else than any other opinion they may hold, and if you share at least an agreement on that point, you could very well be able to work other issues out.
Either way, good luck with your troubles, and don't feel guilty about doing what you have to do for yourself!
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Another Bystander
